


Refined Sight

by ukulele_villian



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Dream Sharing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, OCs ahead, Parenthood, Rey Needs A Hug, The Force 'accidentally' gave Rey Kylo's gift and vice versa, eventual fluff but you have to wade through the angst first, kylo adopts an underling, kylo is haunted and so is rey, minor gore, minor violent descriptions, more Ben Solo backstory angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-16 02:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 54,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13044288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukulele_villian/pseuds/ukulele_villian
Summary: Kylo Ren and Rey grapple with their lives as the Force refuses to let them go. To reconcile the lack of balance, the Force gives them the tools to create a new order of Force users. The galaxy is rarely ever so simple though.A post TLJ Fanfiction focusing on cooperation, compromise, and the return of balance.





	1. Chapter 1

When she shut the door of the Falcon, she had wanted that to be the end of it all. No, that was a lie. She had wanted the ache to end. The tenderness they shared, the glimpse of a future, and the grand glory of finally having someone fight on her side was beautiful; Rey never wanted that to end. 

When she closed the Falcon door on him and the bond, Rey tried to deny the momentary feeling that came with it. There was a lack of permanence in the deed. She was sealing a hole with wax and it would only be a matter of time before Ben scratched his way to her, or she to him. 

It happened unexpectedly, like all things in their shared fate. Rey had laid to rest on a cot in The Falcon. Finn and her new friend, Rose, chatting silently and softly across the room. She had felt that same softness, and couldn’t help but let Finn finding it sink into her too. Except, Finn had someone who could live on his side. Rey felt her heart clench with joy and sorrow as she laid to rest. When the dreams began they were unexpected and just as terrible as she had feared.

She laid chained to an alter, no, they’re chained to an alter. It’s him, but also her as him. His sensations are her’s; and his terror is her’s; and his isolation is her’s. 

“Ky- No ! Ben, wake up. Stop ! Please just be calm ! You’re suffocating us !” She screams in the mind they share in this dream--his dream. He can’t hear her and continues to struggle against the cruel metal chaining him down. They both look up to a light blinding and shining above them till it’s blocked out by cruel figures leaning over their prone form. 

Luke, Snoke, Han, and Leia in their dream forms look upon them. Ben stop fighting when Luke ignites his saber and leans in getting closer.

“Ben ! Ben please wake up-” She hears a single solitary whimper when Luke thrusts the sword into him. A horrific burning and smoldering has Rey screaming in the walls of his head and bitter hot tears running down Ben's cheeks.

“Did you really think you could survive without me ?” Snoke circles and stands right above Ben’s face. His old age is not kind nor endearing like Maz’s or of the old women in the Jakku settlements or like Leia Organa. “Be honest, boy. How are your dreams of an orderly galaxy coming along ?” Snoke taunts and smiles like Ben is a meal. 

The figment Luke slices down Ben’s middle and wretches free the saber with a sickening crack. Leia and Han look impassive and remain doing nothing. Ben turns to them for a flash and then looks defiantly into Snoke’s eyes. 

“I- I- You were wrong-” Ben gasps and sputters the burning and the pain clouding him and Rey despite his willful defiance. “Our bond- My bond with Rey-”  
Snoke rears his head back and laughs. “You doomed yourself. Without me the galaxy will fall into ruin. You will fall into ruin. A foolish child driven by misplaced dreams of peace for the galaxy, who only wants companionship. You’re a selfish and weak wretch.”

“No…” Ben can’t stop his sobbing. “You’re wrong ! I killed you ! The girl- Rey she’s stronger than you ever were. Our bond-”

“Then where is she ? She never loved you, she simply wanted you as a tool to save her precious Rebellion; just like they did.” Snoke leans inches from Ben’s face and with a cruel grasp forces him to turn to see the figments of his dead-eyed, apathetic family. Rey feels the tidal wave of sadness come over Ben. A horrific resignation follows as Snoke laughs and drops Ben’s face back onto the altar. Snoke tightens the chains on Ben’s wrist before walking away with Han Solo and Leia Organa following him. The figment Luke looks down on his nephew and mirrors Ben’s saddened eyes. 

When Rey wakes up with tears, Finn and Rose rush over to comfort her, having never seen her like this. Poe interrupts to shuffle them into a conference room. Tears are typical in war, but on Rey no one acknowledges them. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

When she shut the door on him, he had felt the familiarity of loneliness, but this time-- so much worse. 

Ben Solo had Snoke constantly in his mind and in his heart. His beloved Supreme Leader made sure that was true when Kylo Ren came into existence. Now, there is nothing but the dreams. The horrific nightmares plaguing him worse than before. The colorful variations of morbid truths forced down his throat each night hurt more and more. 

“Supreme Leader,” Hux sneers it. He never says it was awe or reverence like he had with Snoke. “Your plan to free the inhabitants of Parnassos has no logical footing or purpose.” The other officers at the table all look to Hux and nod in unison like ducks following a mother goose. The desire to throw Hux against the nearest wall rises in his veins. 

“Due to the current construction of better working conditions for mining at Pressy’s Tumble we are in need of Parnassos inhabitants who are willing to serve the Order as peace-keepers, General. Did you forget we are in need of resources ?” Kylo tries to lay The Force in his voice subtly. The officers at the table have malleable minds and are in need of a reminder as to who is in control.

“Our mining conditions are adequate.” Hux pushes back boldly. Early on the rat had simply followed Kylo, adapting to the conditions he was in. But as the months dragged on The General had grown bolder. Kylo had the Force, but the Force alone couldn’t sway every officer, nor every stormtrooper. 

“Our mining conditions are what created a lack of control, strikes, and inefficiency.” 

“It’s of no importance what those ungrateful bastards want. They serve the First Order, nothing more. Freeing and aligning ourselves with the refugees of Parnassos is on par with building a relationship with the Alderaanian scum.”

He lifted his hand to choke Hux, to see this man suffer was all he wanted, but he stopped when he felt the thoughts skimming across the minds of the high ranking officers. There was fear, but also intense and unbounded loyalty on their minds. Instead of it being directed at him, it was directed at Hux. 

“General, there will be no arguing this point. My orders are final. Get the refugees of Parnassos off planet,” The flash of pleasure at watching Hux’s face turn as crimson as his hair was all Kylo needed to ease some of the strain and tension in his own head. “And, I want a battalion deployed to the northern region of Vos. Reports of the Marigold oligarchy give us reason to believe they are disposable. The people will be more than happy to align themselves with us after we provide them with protection from those corrupt tyrants.”

Kylo leaves the conference room and only when he gets to his quarters does he sigh with relief and hang his head low. The political prattle all washing off of him. He understood hunting for artifacts, leading the fight, and the Force. He shoves a dresser in front of the door. The paranoia of Snoke’s training never leaving him is to his benefit. Not a single person on this ship is his ally. He yearns to have his mask back and sinks to the floor. 

A juvenile voice in the back of his head whispers, “But she would know what to do. She would know how to be kind. She would be cunning. She would know how to gain allegiance.” 

Fitful sleep claims him and despite his resistance awake, it’s in his dreams now that he reaches for her.

She’s on a high pedestal. He can only see her back as he climbs stairs to get to where she stands. A sea of onlookers shouts from below at her. Rey is always proud, full of fire and courage, but here she’s folding in herself. Holding her stomach and crossing her arms. From behind he can see her shaking. 

“Rey !” voices scream in unison.

“How did you kill him ?” The shouts from the people below are landing on her and Kylo suddenly is overcome with a desire to silence them.

“How did you kill Snoke ?” 

“Save us, please !”

“Control yourself !”

“They need you to be their hero. You have to act like their hero.”

“Rey, we need you.”

“Rey, help me !”

“Jedi ! Jedi ! Help me !”

“Rey, Rey, Rey-”

“STOP !” He finally runs to her. The faceless people disappear and she whirls around to face him. He can’t keep himself from trying to hold her. When she shoves him away he knows that she is real and not a ghost of desire and yearning within him.

“How ?” Hostility is within her, but he feels her temper it. 

“The Force is mysterious….” He has no excuse. The wounds of shame and regret open up and he wants to tell her everything. He wants to explain his various missions to oust the corruption and the villainy of the galaxy. He wants someone to understand that by meddling with the murderers he’s become one of them. It was his responsibility; it was his destiny, but it’s all coming apart. 

“Snoke is dead, I thought the bond would have-” Rey cuts herself off and Kylo watches her briefly turn away from him. “He’s haunting you…”

“How did you know ?” The dread fills him. She must have seen his dreams. How he hopes she didn’t feel them too.

She confirms his fears when she stridently turns and walks up to hold her hand to his temple and let’s a brief flash of what she saw and felt course through him. 

“He was with you for so long.” Rey swallows painfully. Her throat clicking.

“He was with me since childhood. Even in death what he left behind resides.” The emptiness in his mind can be nauseating to the core. 

“They all think you’re a monster.” Kylo had forgotten how Rey’s eyes could be so bright, so livid.

“I am,” He has to be. The Galaxy destroys anything less than brutal. Ben Solo never could have survived. The plucky, diligent, and loyal young man was slated for execution the day they all gave up on trying to help him.

“Yes, you are,” Rey corners him in the dream just as she did in the elevator. “But, I am too…”

“What ?” He’s sent free falling at her words.

“I- I lost control.” She’s shaking terribly and trying to stand confidently, but it’s as convincing as his attempts to be Supreme Leader. “The whole Resistance. They realized-”

The dream shifts and suddenly they’re on a base somewhere hidden in the galaxy. Fearful eyes are all around them. The same people who had cheered and smiled so warmly when she moved the boulders are now looking at her with fear and hate.

“It was an accident…” He whispers that terrible sentence he had tried to get his family to hear. 

“They think that Luke gave me all the answers ! He didn’t.” Rey shouts and he sees the cracks she showed him are still there. The beautiful hints of the dark side that they all scorn, but that he finds safety and familiarity in. 

“No, Rey.” He finds the courage to speak. “Skywalker...he believed in you. He saw that same potential I saw. You have strength beyond anyone’s." The kind words feel all wrong, but he wills everything he has to make them true to her ears. Decades of solitude and his master’s twisted speeches ruin every word that comes from him. He’s never had his mother’s beautiful eloquence. “The rebels...they’re more desperate without her….They’ve latched onto you even more.” His throat is closed and he can’t speak her name. He had not been able to reconcile that his mother had survived the clutches of space, and yet perished in her sleep. His mother claimed the lone peaceful death for Skywalker's.

“I don’t understand how I could be alone again. I’m surrounded by people.” Rey is now holding onto him and he’s sure he could die in this moment happy. 

“You’re not alone.” He reiterates what he wishes she would understand.

“....Neither are you.” 

“Rey,” He murmurs her name and can’t stop the tears. “Where do we go from here ? What if we were wrong ?”

“No. We saw the visions.” Her hope blinds him and he is so thankful. 

“They were wrong, though.”

“No, I think- I think we were wrong. The visions were not.” Rey lets go and drifts away. The dream is coming to an end and he wants to scream in frustration. 

The familiar feeling of waking up alone greets Ben Solo and Rey.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey touches down on Vos with her hood drawn up and a blaster tied to her waist. Her lightsaber feels heavy in her coat pocket and the weight of it seems denser as the days go on.

 The kyber crystal had changed; not immediately, but gradually, like a glass of water with droplets of ink slowly mingling from the surface of the glass into the middle depths. Each day Rey grew more worried for it. She could momentarily get it to function; the childish connection of wires and misplaced tapes could only keep it alive for an hour at best. Worse was the way it _felt_. It screamed and demanded for something Rey could not give.

 Finn had assured her things would be okay. He made of show of trying to act like just looking at the saber didn’t make him uncomfortable.

 “Your code name is Kira Dameron,” Finn had protectively pulled her hood over her head and smiled before patting her on the shoulder. “You’re everyone’s big bad, but you’re still my Rey, the people aren’t going to be too happy if they know it’s you...Just stay calm. You’ve got this.” Finn’s words could trouble and comfort her in equal measure.

 “It’s going to be an easy one this time. I promise,” smiling earnestly can only disarm Finn for only so long. They way he had raised his eyebrows at her revealed as much. “Leia’s journal says that Dr.Tennel knows of kyber crystals. I can’t be a Jedi without a reliable lightsaber….”

There were times where Finn was her big brother and her biggest chastiser. After her ‘incident’ it felt like she had become a glass woman that Finn kept dusting off and that the Resistance kept throwing to the fire to remold.

 She missed the early hours when she had first joined their ranks. Finn had teased and unabashedly introduced her to everyone on the base. It was momentous and happy despite the scraps of what they had remaining. The battle on Crait had nearly ended them, but the Finn she had left was a lifetime older and stronger when she returned.

Leia had immediately given her a warm meal. Poe and Rose had attached her to their group like she was a piece that had always been there, and for a moment she had thought that growing onto their grouping would be natural.  That normalcy disappeared after the brief flash of frustration and something that Rey couldn’t describe. At least Leia had been there for that.

 Rey lands in a dense thicket of forest. Finn had given her a cloaking beacon to hide the Falcon at the edge of the capital city. When she walks along a quiet clearing Rey soaks in the atmosphere of all living things just as Luke had taught her. She shoves the Force to the forefront of her mind and buries the gnawing guilt she feels at the relief of finally being away from the Resistance.

 She had revealed to Ben how lonely she felt around them and now a traitorous part of her mind was enjoying being away from the very people who she claimed were lacking. That same disorienting part of her psyche had to be the one that allowed her to confide again in Ben Solo. Her need for her parents had been her greatest weakness, and now it was here again, but this time not in the search for them, but in the search for anyone.

 She had closed the door. The resolve to end it couldn’t have been that weak, or could it ?

 “We were wrong,” echoes in the walls of her head as she stomps more determinedly through the brush and undergrowth. How could she have opened up to him like that again ? This was his doing, all of it.

 When she angrily stumbles through the last bit of forest she meets a terrible site; the streets are lined with crimson flags, people are drinking  like their lives depend on it,and the people are celebrating their ‘liberation’ on account of the First Order.

 It’s disgusting. Did they all forget that the First Order destroyed planets ? A large and beautiful Togruta woman stops in front of Rey and offers her hand to dance. Rey politely declines and stumbles through dozens of shouting inhabitants. For a people who just disposed a government they appear ecstatic and unconcerned with a future in the hands of someone else.

 Losing Vos had been a stumble that none of the Resistance had expected.

 “It’s a trick. It has to be.” Poe Dameron never failed to showcase his agitation. “The Vos people and monarchy have been our allies for the last five months. There is no way they’ve made alliances with the First Order.”

 Rey’s default posture in those meetings was intertwining her fingers and watching the blue, scratchy holo recording as Poe and a few officers bickered. The Holo showed a First Order Officer taking a bow for a green-skinned twi'lek woman while General Hux looked onward coldly. People seemed almost, _happy_. The crowd looked famished and forlorn, but they’re overjoyed. It didn’t seem possible, but they’d been liberated.

 “The Vos Monarchy was one of our primary weapons dealers. There were reports of...issues...but we never believed them.” Rose Tico had stood with her arms crossed before then pulling up five documents on the screen. Each screen detailed an atrocity that had slipped past them. Rey knew that Rose was disturbed solely on the evidence of her clenching the crescent moon necklace to her chest. They had all gone through a metamorphosis in the span of a year. They still all have light in them; the issue now laid in keeping it alive.

 Stormtroopers sit on street corners and watch impassively at the celebrations. Rey resists the urge to stare for long. Leia had once told her how the galaxy’s memory was short-term.

 Rey stumbles through a crowd of people her age who call for her to come join them. A polite decline and wave of her hand has them booing sarcastically till she disappears from their site into a alleyway. The jubilant shouts can be heard no matter where she goes and the shade of the alley calms her despite the thralls of people.  That was another sensation she encountered more and more. There were people all around her, constantly, and while she was with them she felt just as alone as when they were not there.

 Did he feel like this ? Did Ben feel this way while he was with Luke’s students ? Does he feel like this now ? Why does she care ? He chose the First Order over her, and she chose the Resistance. She chose the winning side and he chose the tyrant’s path, and yet they both came to each other in the space between their selfishness.

 She can’t shove all of her thoughts away, but she can try. She travels through the narrow alley to an unassuming shack. It’s always the subtle places where the legends hide, Luke on his mysterious island and now an old doctor of kyber crystals with a shack in the wall.

 Rey clears her mind and reaches ahead through the lifelines of any potential people in the shack. The shouts and cheers aren’t too far behind. Rey gives a hesitant glance before centering herself again.

 There’s only one person in the hovel, but the Force screams at her to enter the home. The calling of kyber and other powers whispers and Rey has to stop every bone in her body from shaking.

 “Dr.Tennel ?” Rey hesitantly calls as she leans on the wooden door. She holds her hand on her blaster and yearns to truly see any link to her power. Any tie to the aspect that is key to her is what she needs more than anything, almost as much as she needs her lightsaber fixed. “Dr.Tennel ? I’m here with some herbal requests ?”

 The house is completely dark and shapeless inside, and yet Rey finds she would rather  throw herself to the Force beaconing within than the hypocritical citizens outside.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Had the air conditioner on the Finalizer always been so loud or was that his insanity finally getting to him ? Kylo had found himself holding his head in his hands more and more over the months. The pressure had been lifted off of him; Snoke was no longer applying the weight of worlds onto his lungs, but how can a crushed man breath after his organs have adapted to the push of someone on them  ?

 The claustrophobia in him claws and he looks up multiple times. He’s sure the Supreme- no, Snoke. Snoke is dead Kylo says over and over. ‘Snoke is gone and can’t hurt you’, he whispers like a mantra that might wipe away the nightmares of his father’s final saddened gaze, Luke’s angry and vengeful eyes, the constant looks of disappointment that he had buried deep within to only summon when he needed to remind himself of why he was fighting this war.

  _“The vision wasn’t wrong.”_ Rey was sure. Her resolve seemingly never wavered. She had shut him out so many times and he hadn’t the nerve to face her till the night prior. He wanted her strength by him. The need for a hint of light, of power, of determination, all the things that made up Rey was what he needed.

 The peace treaty with the new government of Vos had concluded and the First Order now found itself with a monopoly on precious gems. Kylo had hoped for some joy, some sort of assurance surely had to come from this action. He had done something good, now he was preparing a mandate to collect and consolidate any Force relics on the planet. Economically they were finding stability and even more so the cluster of dwarf planet settlements surrounding Vos would soon follow. Self assurance should have followed these pillars of success, but he hadn’t found them.

 Data-pads detailing every language and custom of the Vos people rest on his humble table. His quarters on the Finalizer is  near identical to what they had been on the Supremacy, except for his Grandfather’s shrine, the same visage he found he could not face after seven months.

 The General had come to detail the meeting with the rightful heiress of Vos. She had been Twi'lek, something Hux had felt was pertinent to mention several times. He had showed Hux how much he cared with a light toss of the man to the wall before he had retreated to his quarters. Kylo bolted and secured everylock while shoving his dresser in front of the door. He feels twitchy and irate around anyone on the Finalizer and can’t take the noise.

 He hasn’t slept in two days. The gnawing need  to obtain even a fraction of stable footing in the Galaxy is a worthy cost for rest. Snoke had ordered the destruction of The New Republic, but in the time after he hadn’t considered the effects of leaving each planet isolated and vulnerable. The reports of pirates, vandals, and factional groups reigns all over the galaxy. Snoke had dangerously only focused on the Resistance and never considered who else would arise from the power vacuum.

 

The idea that Snoke left holes in his plan is an odd comfort to Kylo as he tries to start the next stack of intel that need addressing. A knock at his door interrupts his thoughts.

 “What is it ?” Kylo barks as he flings the dresser aside with a flick of his wrist and unlocks three of the five security switches to get a glimpse at who is disturbing him. A lone stormtrooper stands at the entrance with fifteen more data-pads and holo devices on hand. He swishes the door open and looms over the trooper.

 They shake visibly, but crane their head to look up directly at him. The miniscule thing clenches their fists around the delivery and locks their arms. The helmets dark visor reflects Kylo’s visibly frustrated face and the blooming purple and dark color under his eyes. The Trooper is abnormally small in stature and it’s highlighted in their misfitting uniform. This isn’t the typical officer who makes deliveries. If anything, most times a droid is tasked with the misfortune of interrupting him. Kylo’s ire surges when he sees this practical joke standing at his door.

 “Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, the weapons detailing and systematic flight reports you wrote are here for your consider-”

 “Yes, yes, of course,” He reaches for them and finds the data locked in the trooper’s grasp. He’s shocked at how tightly the little urchin has latched onto them.

 “-ation, General Hux gives his recommendation that you test-” The stormtrooper continues with their speech, they’re candor leaving Kylo momentarily dumbfounded.

 “Tell the General that my weapons reports and research is sufficient and that if he has any questions I’ll be more than happy to give him a lesson in basic language comprehension,” Kylo rips the reports from the trooper and feels a rush at watching the tiny thing stumble for a moment.

 “-the new Tie modifications that will be appearing in this concurrent generation of-”

 “Enough ! Who sent you ? Who are you ?” This farce is too much for him and his fingers twitch with thrumming anger. The pitiful creature shocks him by defiantly standing tall. The traces of a familiarity in the way they hold themself confuses him and he suppresses the urge to just rip the answers from the mind of this odd stormtrooper.

 “BN-2135 of the new Stormtrooper cadet corp, Supreme Leader.” They say it proudly and only then does it dawn on Kylo why this creature is so small and why their voice sounds odd even through a modulator; they’re a child.

 “Your age, soldier. What is your age ?” Kylo feels dizzy and unprepared for their response.

 “...E-Eighteen, S-Supreme Leader,”

 “You must either be insane or immensely brave to so poorly lie.” The trooper is radiating panic.

 “Supreme Leader, my files say eighteen,” The stormtrooper is desperate now, the nervous and shaky bravado giving way to terror. “I’ve been instructed to report that I am eighteen.”

 “I counter that authority,” He pushes and pieces together exactly what the Stormtrooper, no, it’s a girl, is implying. “What is your true age ?”

 “Fourteen, Supreme Leader,” The girl has remained outwardly as calm as she can, but he’s terrorized her nearly beyond speaking.

 “Who allowed you on this ship ? Who let you anywhere near this base ? Who sent you here-” Kylo cuts himself off and grabs for his temples despite the fact that he should have been putting on a regal front for this soldier. He’s failed in earning any legitimate recognition and now he realizes he has no clue what the status or shape of the stormtrooper program is. The loss of his temper and the insanity of what’s being presented to him is overwhelming.

 “Supreme Leader, my corp arrived two weeks ago to The Finalizer….Other cadet corps began arriving six months ago.” The girl fills in and confirms his suspicions. He feels absolutely sick now. “ I was sent here on behalf of General Hux himself.”

 “General Hux sent you ?” Now he knows something is even more amiss that he previously believed. This stunt was doctored at the expense of this child, but also him. For what end: he can’t guess, but he needs to change tactics with this development. “Where is Captain Phas-” Dead, he realizes. She’s been dead for almost a year and in that time Hux surely has appointed someone else as Captain of the Stormtrooper program.

 Kylo has been commanding Stormtroopers and soldiers, but had he ever looked closer ? No, of course not, The Supreme Leader never worried about officers or soldiers. Snoke had Hux on a leash and the whole order in the palm of his hand. Simpler politics were above Snoke, but Kylo can’t afford to live on a cloud like his former master. He’s not omnipotent like Snoke.

 The soldier is still standing before him. BN-2135 seems to have no idea what’s the next course of etiquette.

An idea springs to Kylo, Hux has given him a valuable tool whether he knows it or not. Whether this child was sent as a spy, a test, or a trap--whatever the cause he will transform this odd happen chance into a gateway.

 “Tell me exactly what Hux told you to do,” Kylo pulls the Stormtrooper closer to the door. The soldier has gone silent. BN-2135’s cold helmet reflects his stern and steely gaze. “Soldier, I order you to give me the specifics of what the general told you to do…..You’ll face no repercussions. I’ll see to it myself that your immune.” The feeling of authority still feels like a part he’s playing. As Snoke’s apprentice he had a wide range of powers, and now as Supreme Leader he should have unfettered control and allowance to do as he pleases. But the last months have proven that every action is like a chess match he’s playing with the entire galaxy.

 “The General commissioned me to give you this information,” Kylo’s surprised and shocked at the eloquence of BN-2135. The near robotic like manner in which she pauses before speaking is alarming, though. “He said a droid could not be trusted for the task and that if I did not give you the full detailed report myself I would be demoted.”

 “Did you see anything odd in that ?” How this stormtrooper girl responds will be the true test of if she’s capable of fulfilling the plot steadily forming in his mind. “Remember, your allegiance is to the Supreme Leader, me, not Hux, not your Captain.”

 The girl’s face is unreadable behind the mask, but Kylo sees exactly what he’s looking for; the girl was sent to be made an example of and now a snare of doubt is within her. She doesn’t answer, but instead looks down in what Kylo assumes is shame.

 “Exactly, you’re not a simpleton like they thought...I need data on the current makeup of Stormtrooper numbers, locational spread of the various corps, also population and age bracket. I also want you to come back here in three hundred hours. You’ll begin your training with me.” Kylo quickly turns with a swish of his cape and starts to re-enter his room.

 “Supreme Leader ! Sir, please I don’t have access to that information. I’m being deployed soon-” The door slams in BN-2135’s face, but Kylo is sure he hasn’t seen the last of her. If she passes his test then he can find a place among some actual allies, and if she fails he’ll have to find another way.

 The sickening glow of schemes projected by the mountains of electronic tablets keeps him safe from Snoke’s ghost for a few hours more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2 ! I'm very excited to continue this. I have a whole bunch of ideas that I've outlined and now implementing them is the challenge.


	3. Chapter 3

The shack radiated the Force and smelled of mildew.  Rey let out an involuntary laugh when the thought came to her mind. Her chuckle echoing around the walls as she had stumbled through. The plan was to enter with caution, but her small and shallow laugh had ended any hope of that.

 The shack was nondescript. A plain, moth-eaten rug sat under a circular table, and a single bed were the only objects in the whole home. The awful sinking of Rey’s heart followed  the realization that every surface was covered in thick layers of undisturbed dust.

 Rey was sure she had felt one person in here. Life had been pulsating alongside the Force in the pitch black home from outside.

She opened a door to a closet full of empty boxes and slammed it shut. No one had been in this home for months, maybe even years. The Stormtroopers occupying the city hadn’t even taken the time to explore the useless home.

 “Dr.Tennel ? Please, I need help !” There was no point in lying about the herbs further. The sensation no one alongside what she was sure had been the Force mocks and whispers, ‘Has it ever been that easy ?’

 Rey’s stricken by the urge to burn the whole shack down. She hears her lightsaber ignite and lets herself swim in the sensations of hacking the table to pieces. The blade is cracking and the hilt of the saber burns her hands. The wood table is damp and she screams in frustration when her rage equates no literal fire. Bitter tears spring to her eyes and she falls to her knees in desperation. Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber splits apart again with an anti-climactic crack.

 The table and room are now a mess, just like the conference room when she lost control. It had all been so good before, but of course she had to ruin it. The senator hadn’t even made that bad of a comment, it was true of course; Jakku was a terrible place. It had been the way he had said it and it had been right after a battle: a battle she had won. A bone deep weariness had creeped into her and instead of dulling her rage, it had intensified it. The last year making her stronger, but no less conflicted and aching.

 "I can see why he is drawn to you,” Rey whips around and faces the apparition of Luke Skywalker. The irony that he appears to her at such a low point nips at the back of Rey’s mind. The ghost form he’s taken has a hallowed and electric blue tone and fits what she had originally expected from him as a legend. “You both feel the flames and are them.”

 “Well, he still dreams about you killing him….” Rey retorts. The Jedi master doesn’t flinch at her jab, but moves to sit next to her. Luke Skywalker has no right to approach her after leaving her alone to carry the weight of the galaxy for an entire year.

 “You really wanted to talk to me after Crait.” Luke chastises.

 “That was before,” Rey had been holding the newly broken lightsaber while aboard the Millennium Falcon alongside dozens of people whom she had just met. Luke had appeared for an instant, stared at the saber, and then disappeared; his face unreadable. “You weren’t too eager to talk to me then anyway…”

 “It wasn’t the right time.” Luke smiles softly and Rey wishes she could have known more of this side of him in life. He speaks in riddles similarly to his sister and his nephew. “Dr.Tennel has been dead for years. He was a kind man. He helped Ben build his lightsaber. It makes sense that he’d find a home on a planet surrounded by beautiful gems.”

 Hearing Ben’s name makes Rey’s heart ache and she draws a finger in the dust of the floor to center herself.

 Luke continues his story unperturbed. “Tennel was a scholar and Ben was enamored with some of the ancient legends of the Jedi. Ben based his saber off designs that were found before The Scourge of Malachor after Tennel gave him some books and manuscripts. It worried me then, Ben having compassion for the Sith who died there. That was another fatal misjudgment of his character on my part.” Luke places his hand on Rey’s shoulder and despite his apparition form she feels the weight of Luke’s touch.

 “He visited me in my dreams two nights ago.” Rey admits, but surprisingly feels no shame. “I know our visions had truth to them. It couldn’t have just been Snoke ! He could still come to The Resistance and fight for us !”

 “Do you want him to come to the Resistance ?” Luke asks with no hint of malice, but Rey feels burned by his question.

 “Of course I do ! I saw him in the light ! He was with me !” Rey hears her own words and feels pangs of the growing doubt blooming within.

 After Leia’s death a group of new Senators had appeared to take control. They had demanded Rey go through a series of odd tests every so often. They were uncomfortable and strange; they were supposed to be linked in some way to studying the Force, but they instead felt intrusive. She had wondered what Ben would do if they tried to test him like that. An awful part of her had wished that he could have been there to endure them with her.

 “Do you still think being a Jedi is just swinging a sword in battle and solving problems with a little telepathy ?”

 “No ! But everyone else does !” Even in death Luke Skywalker is exasperating.

 “Rey, I know when the time comes you will make the right choice.” He gives her a soft smile that takes Rey aback.

 "Thanks,” Rey laughs sardonically. “Maybe you could actually help me fix your family’s lightsaber or tell me how Leia is, but no, still as strange as ever.”

 Luke crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. “Look under the carpet, kid. There’s a few things I think you and Ben will find interesting.  Also, you don’t need to ask about Leia, she’s always with you and she’s living on in someone else.”

 “What ?” Rey swings her head to look at the drab carpet where the remains of the table lay. Luke, in typical vague Jedi fashion, disappears before she can ask him for any more help.

 Rey throws the carpet aside and finds a hatch door and a loose wood floored panel. The hatch door is where she should be, but the loose floorboard is too interesting to pass up. On Jakku it was the smaller and easily forgettable panels and floor boards that could buy her good meals.

 Pulling up the floor board and remembering Jakku makes Rey rip it forward carelessly. When she reaches in she’s surprised to find journals and leather bound books. Of course the galaxy is going to make her read more old books. Of course a new lightsaber isn’t bound up in the hidden space of the floor.

 Rey flips through the pages of the larger book. Diagrams and geology records alongside brief anecdotes on Tennel’s life fly past her. She freezes when she catches sight of an elaborate drawing of a lightsaber. The artistic ability is phenomenal. The colors and inks Tennel uses to make what would be bland blueprints into magic are similar to what had drawn Rey to firesides on Jakku to hear stories about The Jedi who roamed the galaxy saving the universe.

 When Rey skims the smaller books she discovers the are diaries written in elaborate swirling letters that appear to shift from coruscant to basic standard in the same way Tennel’s thoughts flow. He’s dated the entries erratically and yet his focus upon detail is palatable in every other element of the diagrams Rey finds. The tone is curt and concise.

 “ _The artifact is unknown to me--Spherical in nature--Red and black markings. Master Skywalker feels the dark and light. Developments will follow.”_

 Rey folds down the corners of the pages discussing the sphere. Tennel’s mind occasionally wanders to gemstone collections and mundane tasks, but the strange sphere is close to his personal thoughts.

  _“Keeping the sphere hidden from Tekka. Don’t think Master Skywalker will approve.”_

 Rey lets out a tsk. Secrets and lying must be the way of The Jedi. Luke obtained his knack for falsehoods from the people he surrounded himself with.

  _“The boy is very eager. Happy to give his service. He is alongside the students, yet apart. He enjoyed the stones. His mind is keen and he easily affiliates with my collection. Peridot, kyber, lazuli--Master Skywalker pushes him. He says that he’s trying to show the others that favoritism isn’t part of the training. The boy has a weight upon him. He’s graciously hauling it. What happens when he refuses the weight ? Lonely. Outwardly spoken on matters of The Force. Soft spoken on himself.  ”_

 Rey knows Tennel is describing Ben and she bites her lip as she reads onward.

  _“The boy is what I need to use the sphere. He holds the darkness I need. The light is strong enough as well. He could fulfill either part of the device.”_

 The foreboding in that paragraph holds a weight that rises in Rey’s throat.

 “ _The boy is a dreamer. Ambition makes him sympathetic to my cause. His master refuses to even let us try.The boy is kept on a tight leash. He’s eager to please, so he allows the leash to shorten.”_

 Rey shuts the journal quickly. Luke had said he had seen the darkness in Ben, but what was it ? Just the power he was born with ?

 When Rey had left Ben Solo she was positive that it was because they could never meet. He loved power and darkness and she was the light that could never penetrate the shadow.

 A year of looking back and fighting to crush the thoughts of doubt has her reconsidering.

 Rey pockets each of Tennel’s books and throws open the hatch. The hole reminds her of the Ach-to cave, but there is no fear.

 Rey leaps in and deftly grabs on to the ladder. She climbs deeper and deeper. Luke Skywalker may not be able to aid her, but determination can.

 Rey touches the side of the cave wall and the world explodes into color. The cave greets her with a thousand bio-luminescent lights and and crystals of every color.

 The hope she had felt so long ago when she joined the Resistance; when she had spent time with Leia;  when she and Finn had flown the Falcon; and when Ben had touched her hand returns and confirms that she’s where she needs to be.

 

\-------------------------------------------

 Kylo’s re-reading the words on the data-pad for the seventh time when he figures out he’s dreaming. The air chills and behind him and he childishly refuses to turn around.

 “How does it feel knowing that your Uncle was willing to extend a hand to a man who had slaughtered billions, but that you were such a mistake he was ready to erase you without hesitation ?”

 Kylo stands as straight as he can and ignores how every hair on his neck is on edge. Refusing to play his mind’s childish games is how he’ll win. The fact that he doesn’t turn to see Snoke should be enough to aid him in dispelling the figment.

 “How does it feel knowing that I cleared out your gaudy throne room ?” Kylo taunts back.

 “Yes, the throne room you were too cowardly to take as your own.” Snoke is right; Kylo had tried for three days to sit in the amphitheatre. Each attempt had been more painful than the last. The memory of watching Rey be tortured and then waking up to realize she was gone were too closely linked to that room and all the other sore and burning memories of Snoke.

 “I smelt the throne down. Your guards are all dead. I’ve started exploring your Force artifact collection and I burned all your disgusting robes.” Snoke is nearing Kylo and as his only defense is throwing out the list of disrespects as a quick shield. Destroying Snoke’s possessions had been Kylo’s one comfort in the early months where his bond to Rey was silent.

 "Your bond was created by me.” Snoke’s tone of self assurance and the utter lack of hesitancy frightened Ben Solo as a child and now keeps Kylo Ren petrified to where he stands. Snoke is behind him and if he turns he’ll surely die.

 “Liar,” Kylo spits out, helpless, frozen in place as Snoke circles him and assesses what form of punishment will follow Kylo’s defiance. “The bond was ours !”

 “You still believe anything truly belongs to you ? From the moment you were born, you were mine. Now that I am gone, you are still mine. Except, you are useless. You are a marionette cut from his benevolent master’s strings.” Electricity cracks around Snoke’s form as he draws closer to Kylo.

 “I don’t care !” All Kylo can do as Snoke circles and leans into his ear is flinch and shut his eyes. “I will fix the mess that you’ve made ! I’ll restore the order my Grandfather lost !”

 “You’ll perish alone. Most likely in a First Order cell while the General plucks the last shreds of your mind, or maybe at the hands of a Rebel firing squad. You and your family will be lost forever in infamy and sorrow.” Snoke’s long and terrible claws rest on both of his shoulders and Kylo is transported to when he was Ben Solo. Kylo had given everything to Snoke, but worse is knowing that even without his consent Snoke would have taken it anyway.

 Kylo summons his strength. He imagines Rey in all her defiant and fantastical power trampling all over The Supreme Leader and his entire opulent throne room. Snoke laughs when he feels Kylo’s mental writhing and feeble attempts at escape.

 “I have a clear vision of what is to come, my boy,” Snoke forces Kylo to look ahead and see Rey. She’s not there to save him, she’s lying in the arm of a sand dune bloodied and dead. It takes all the will Kylo has not to cry out. “This story will end only in tragedy for either or both of you. ”

 Snoke drops Kylo to his knees. This isn’t the first time his master has left him lying on the ground in a pitiful ball. Even in death Snoke holds the chain around his neck, or is it Kylo himself ? Isn’t this what Snoke always wanted ? Kylo desperate and destroying his own heart even without his master, and miserably failing to right the problems his family left for him to shoulder.

 “Ben ?” Her voice breaks through the cloud of pain and he cries out in joy. Kylo ignores the possibility that the Rey speaking to him isn’t real.

 The scene is different now. There’s no terrible prison of his cramped quarters, instead a cave lit by a string of lights and gem stones alongside Rey. She’s the tangible element to the glimmering scenario, and he can’t believe The Force is gifting him with a fantasia to balm the nightmare. He remains kneeling as she approaches.

 “We have to stop doing this.” Rey laughs and cautiously approaches him. Her laugh is sarcastic and pained, but he remains kneeling and is unsure what to say back to her.

 “You’re on Vos, aren’t you ?” Kylo wishes to discuss anything but the impending crisis of the galaxy, but it would be too convenient for Rey to be in a mineral chamber right after The First Order’s recent defeat of a planet whose monarchy thrived on mining and precious gemstones.

 “You can see my surroundings ?” Her worry agitates him. He had screamed at Skywalker that he would destroy her, but that had been a horrible lie. After a year of avoiding their bond and avoiding direct combat with her, it hurts to see that she still believes him a monster.

 “Yes, but I don’t intend to send anyone after you. In fact, you should be nowhere near Vos right now. The people would arrest you for high treason if they knew who-”

 “Shut up ! Stop talking like a protocol droid !” Rey yells at him and it echos in the cave. He’s been pulled into her world again and he clenches his fists. The strength they have together is intoxicating, but the breadth he affords her is a mile long. The figment of Snoke was right, sooner or later this will end in tragedy, but for some reason Kylo can only see himself lying dead in a sand dune. Rey, on the other hand, he can’t imagine her as anything but surviving. He’s seen her in pain, but somehow she always rises up again. A year has passed and the contrast he can see in her and himself is proof enough that she will survive till the end of time in Kylo’s mind.

 He takes a long pause before answering. “I’m worried about your safety.”

 "Liar !” She hisses. “You wouldn’t hesitate to kill every last one of the Resistance if you had the chance.”

 “...They would be taken to trial. They would be tried for their crimes…” Kylo’s own words sound pathetic in light of the power and beauty surrounding him.

 “Is that what you said on Crait ?” Rey fires every accusation at him like a blaster shot.

 “No,” He had been so clouded with pain. He had awoken alone and the universe had been crumbling around him.  Crait should have been the moment The First Order saw him as a guiding hand, but instead he had reverted to wallowing in the waves of blind-rage. When the smoke had cleared the failure reared its fist to backhand him, and an awful more treacherous part of his mind, the same part that seemed to turn to Rey no matter what, had almost sighed in relief at the failure.

 “I was acting with the same frame as the lord of The Knights Of Ren then: not how a true leader should have reacted. It was fortunate you and my mother escaped…” He doesn’t say that even if he did put scum like Poe Dameron on trial it would end in an execution.

 Rey is perplexed and kneels beside him. Her eyes dissect him and Kylo is torn between bolting from her or throwing himself into her arms. Rey’s calculating gaze turns him into a piece of machinery ready to be dismantled.

 “You could have done something like this for us.” Rey whispers and it reverberates around the cave and through The Force.

 “The Resistance and New Republic turned a blind eye to The Marigold Monarchy because it was convenient.” He can remember travelling with Luke Skywalker as a young boy and rebelling against how helpless they all were. They were Jedi, what was the point if no one could be saved ?

 “The First Order turned a blind eye to the massacre on Plessy Tumble because it was convenient.” She says back at him and he feels his heart clench. Hux had acted without Kylo’s allowance; Kylo had nearly choked the life out of the man for such a flagrant poke at his authority. Hux had argued that it was necessary. Necessity had been the same crutch Kylo had used and so he had let it go.

Yet, the pain in Kylo remained just as it had after he destroyed the Church of The Force.  The eternal scar of events like The Hosnian system and the screams felt through The Force haunt him just as Snoke does.

 “I keep telling myself that one of these battles will finally be the last, but they never end.” Kylo laments to her and knows she must feel the same. They’ve been fighting their whole lives, and he’s not sure how to stop.

 When Kylo looks at Rey he knows she feels it too. The guilt, the running, the fighting, the loneliness it binds and squeezes them tightly as they flee from the grasp of the bond.

 “Is it wrong that I only feel calm when we are together like this ?” Rey is extremely close to him. Her breaths tickle his neck and the stone caught in his throat grows. His fractured mind is blaring alarm bells at the proximity, but the audacity of this girl keeps him rooted to the ground.

 “I know what I saw in my vision...but is this selfish ?” Rey looks down in what Kylo guesses is shame.

 It’s his turn to laugh sarcastically. “If anyone deserves to be selfish in the galaxy it’s you.”

 This girl truly is his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. She could slash his face a thousand and one more times and he’s not certain he could muster an ounce of legitimate hatred.

 “Ben...be selfish with me for a moment.”

He stares, perplexed and silent.

“Help me build a lightsaber.” Rey’s lack of hesitation is blinding.

 If Kylo helps her then he damns the First Order. If he doesn’t then she’ll find a way herself. The impossible isn’t a stretch for his scavenger.

 “What components do you have already,” Damn the First Order, damn him, damn Snoke, and damn his eternal mother and his omnipotent and unvanquishable father who live on in him no matter what. “Do you have a kyber crystal ?”

 “No, I want to fix your family’s saber.” She holds it to him tenderly and the old wounds of having her reach for the saber instead of him are re-opened. The saber is mangled and has been carefully patched together, but it’s clearly weakened.

 “You might need side vents to hold the kyber...I know it has been overheating and nearly combusting.” Kylo remembers how his own saber had moaned, and the kyber writhing as Snoke had aided him in corrupting it. The kyber refused to turn crimson on its own and had instead demanded Snoke’s cracking.

 “So what you're saying is I need you here for this.” Rey’s face is crestfallen and Kylo contemplates if a day will come when he doesn’t disappoint her. He notices how her hair is tightly braided to the point of looking uncomfortable. It’s his mother’s teaching, but without Leia Organa there to execute it, the braid looks rough and tense. It takes him a moment to realize how exhausted she is.

 “You need me to help repair this,” In reality, he thinks, Rey needs no one, the one trait he still envies her for. “But you can find kyber in here-”

 “We’re still learning.” Rey whispers and he hates how tears grow in the corners of her eyes.  “You can do one thing for me in here…”

 “I missed you.” Kylo admits and interjects before she can make a request he might fail. Denial was the crutch alongside necessity keeping him up for the last year, but in the face of her, the cracks in his resolve widen. “What do you need of me ?” Besides all the things he’s failed to deliver on.

 “Is there some rose quartz in here. I want to bring some back for a friend. Can you help me find one ?”

 “How did you know that I-” Kylo feels a blush come over his face when he realizes that she somehow deduced he used to be interested in stones.

 “Maybe later,” Rey trails her hand along some of the rocks and stones, but doesn’t reach for the clear and visible veins of diamonds or rubies. “Which one of these is rose quartz ?”

 It takes Kylo a moment to call upon the knowledge that had been hidden away in Ben Solo. He points to a cluster of the foggy, pink hued stones and feels pride at Rey’s surprise in how quickly he could find them.

 “Thank you…” She turns to him and Kylo wishes he could be with her while she finds her kyber crystal, but he knows this is a journey she must complete herself.

 “Trust yourself, Rey. ” He watches her fade and is awoken by a consistent knocking at his door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My space kids are dumb.


	4. Chapter 4

“You’re late.” Kylo pushes past BN-2135’s confused form and beckons for her to follow him down the hall. “Next time you fail to maintain punctuality I will demote you.” Kylo’s strides are two times the length of the girl’s. His dreams of Rey and Snoke are not far behind his more shallow thoughts, but nevertheless, he strides ahead of them and calculates the plan for his stormtrooper.  

 Kylo slept physically, but his mind is as strung up as when he first began his quest to lead the galaxy into peace. Kylo glances to see how his eyes reflect in the stormtroopers helmet, and he hopes the child and the superior officers he meets with are unable to realize his discontent.

 “Supreme Leader, forgive me. I mean no disrespect. Your quarters are difficult to locate.” BN-2135 jogs to keep up with his pace. The girl is right about the location of his quarters. He ousted everyone from the furthest wing of the Finalizer. He made sure his room resided among twelve other empty ones to provide ample secrecy.

 “Learn then,” he picks up speed to get to the combat and workout room of his choice. It’s always reserved for him and they will have no distractions there. “If you’re going to be serving me then I require you perform at the level of perfection.”

 No less than excellency was the standard Ben Solo and Kylo Ren was held to his whole life. For his plan to work he’ll need BN-2135 performing in a similar manner.

“From here on out you will be reporting to me on all manner of happenings within your cadet corp and amongst other Stormtroopers, is that understood ?” Kylo waves his hand in front of the training room door and turns to see the tiny thing’s response.

The stormtrooper is quiet and hugs the datapad to her chest tightly enough that it squeaks against her armour. BN-2135 is curiously staring at Kylo’s feet and he assumes she’s measuring what her next response will be.

“Do I still get to be a stormtrooper ?” The voice modulator makes her request and voice sound odd to Kylo’s ears.

“Yes, your work with me requires you to be a stormtrooper.” The perplexing soldier raises their head to look at him directly through the mask. Kylo feels waves of a suppressed relief and joy that he quickly ignores. When he enters the training room and snaps his fingers for her to give him the data pad the girl startles. BN-2135 quickly passes it to him in a fashion so to avoid the tension felt with their first meeting.

Kylo’s shocked when he looks at everything she’s gathered. Each request he made is fulfilled and the data appears correct. He hadn’t actually expected her to be able to retrieve the various spouts of information and that fact that she was able to get to it worries him.

Kylo gestures then for her to sit at a table in the training room.

“Explain how you got to this information.” Kylo tries to hide his astonishment from the girl, he can’t have her thinking he’s too impressed with her ability. He leans on the table and looms over her.

“I went to the data archives available on the ship.” She answers plainly, but he feels her hesitation and caution come into play.

“I’m surprised your superiors haven’t taught you that lying to The Supreme Leader of the First Order is an act of treason.” Kylo pushes at the corners of her mind to see her reaction.

“Supreme Leader, I accessed the archives and took the available information from the records on the ship.”

“You violated sanctioned rules and conduct so you could perform the task I gave you ?” Kylo watches BN-2135’s fist clench and unclench nervously. Her conviction treads on the heels of a natural fear, but also an anger. He’s shocked at the audacity of this child. Her thoughts skim across the Force and reveal that she’s scared, but enraged.

 _“Unfair”_ is the loudest thought amongst the myriad of other emotions. He catches a brief glimpse of Hux too and he hates how this child even momentarily links him to that man.

“Supreme Leader- I- Please forgive-” The girl is terrified again. Kylo’s reputation of throwing and disciplining soldiers proceeds him, and if Kylo were Snoke she would be dead.

“You’re loyal, but your superiors have wronged you.” Kylo pulls up a chair and reaches to adjust the settings on her data pad. The child flinches as he moves to pull up the comprehension tests he’s prepared for her. His hand freezes when he sees her jumpy and panicked reaction. “BN-2135, I promised you immunity, remember ?”

The child’s faith in him and her superiors is next to non-existent and his chest aches at that notion.  “It appears that your faith is lacking….” Kylo murmurs and skims the surface of her mind again. 

Could this have been the source of FN-2187’s defection ? Kylo had always seen The First Order for what it really was, but he had stayed because his belief had been strong in Snoke. He had adored the man and had given him his life. Of course, till Rey showed Kylo there was another path. A year of his leadership had transpired and there was already doubt ?

“No that’s not true, Supreme Leader ! I’m sorry-”  BN-2135 stammers and holds the table with gripped knuckles.

“Your apologizing is annoying.” Kylo waves his hand and uses the force to pull the data pad towards him. He hides a smile when he senses the child’s amazement. “I’m pulling up a series of aptitude tests for you to take. I need to see how far your education has gone. From there I want you to answer some questions about a series of higher-ups on the ship. I want to know your opinion of them and what you perceive your peers opinions are.”

 “What is the purpose of this, Supreme Leader ?” The child is back to carefully measuring her words.

“I need someone who experiences your work. After that I plan to send your corps back to Arkanis, but before I do that, I plan to devise-” Kylo cuts himself off. He doesn’t need to explain himself to a child who has barely earned his trust. He realizes with a start how he let so much slip to this soldier who may still be in allegiance with Hux. “BN-2135, are you aware that loyalty to The Supreme Leader is unconditional ?”

“Yes ?”

“Then stop prying where it’s none of your concern.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader.”

 Kylo holds back a laugh at BN-2135’s realization that her test is timed. He watches her scramble to begin the standardized format. He pulls up his own work and wonders if Rey’s kyber crystal has chosen her yet.

  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------

 Rey lands on Ryloth with a nervous start and her hands shaking. She runs to the back of The Falcon and checks to see if it’s still there. The hollow space in the wall couldn’t stop a Force sensitive from finding her hidden secret, but it will stop her friends.

She wonders if Ben felt it too. Their bond had been closed, but with its recent resurgence of dreams and now potentially showing locations and surroundings, Rey doesn’t doubt that Ben sensed her finding the kyber and the orb. The Force had let out a wave of jubilation that was so desperate and needy when Rey had found her kyber. The extent of the energy had nearly caused her to pass out.

“Rey !” Finn calls from the entrance ramp. The thump of his feet as he’s followed by even bigger footsteps tells Rey that Chewie is with him.

“One second, Finn !” Rey takes the kyber out of the hollow space and wraps the orb in an unassuming sack cloth.

“Be safe.” Rey whispers as she tries to think up a lie that will hide what happened in the cave.

Rey catches a glimpse of Finn’s expression and she instantly knows she’s come home to chaos.

“Senator Visigoth is here for another inquiry.” Finn’s eyes are narrowed and the volume of his voice low and serious.

“Hello to you too.” Rey’s stomach drops when she imagines the very probable scenario that Poe and Visigoth have been screaming at each other for the twenty four hours she's been gone.  “I knew I should have waited to go-”

“No, you did what you needed to do.” Finn hugs her unabashedly. Rey jumps a little, but settles into his kindness. “Sooner or later we won’t need this guy’s help. He’s a stuffy New Republic senator who thinks he can throw around his weight now that Lei-”

“Yeah, I know.” Rey pulls away from Finn. She rolls her shoulders and stands straight, Leia used to prep her for these meetings. Breathing techniques, putting on a mask, careful words and calculated responses were as dangerous as a lightsaber according to Leia.

“Wait,” Rey reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out the rose quartz chunk she carved out with Anakin’s saber. “After this mess maybe we can do something more fun.”

“No way !” Finn cautiously takes the foggy quartz from Rey and puts it in his own pocket. Rey squeezes his shoulder and the pit in her stomach lessens an ounce.

“So, let's see what’s in store for me.” Rey closes her fists.

“No, for us, for all of us. Visigoth is breathing down all of our necks.” Finn appears completely convinced, but Rey still feels the knot in her stomach.

Rey and Finn walk quickly to one of the many conference and strategy rooms that have become like a scathing second home. Rey’s grown to loathe them. They all appear the same, no matter what planet they’re on. Blue screens, holo-projectors and angry senators are staples of the atmosphere that has slowly begun to crush her and after a year they feel like a monument to her failure. Nothing good come out of these rooms.

Visigoth is already there shouting at Poe. Rey considers even if the base were bombed that they both would still be standing and arguing.

“Oh !” Visigoth turns and catches sight of them. “The great Jedi finally comes back from her Vos vacation.” His copper colored robes remind Rey of Snoke and she wants to throw up. “Tell me, how are the people celebrating their liberation ?”

“Senator, I’m gonna ask you again to control yourself,” Poe gestures for Finn and Rey to sit at the table and shoots the senator a nasty look. “Rey was on a mission to retrieve kyber for her saber.”

Rey wants to yell at Poe for just blatantly revealing where she was, but she holds her tongue.

“Yes,” Visigoth’s eyes flash when Rey sits and a chill runs up her spine. “Tell us, Rey of Jakku. Was your mission successful ? I’m surprised the locals didn’t pounce on the chance to catch the illustrious Sith Slayer.”

Rey grimaces at the nickname The First Order gave her. Jedi Killer was Ben’s and now Sith Slayer was her’s. The galaxy doesn’t care that the Jedi and Sith are practically extinct; they want easy roles to give to the Force.

“I got what I needed and got out.” Rey leans on her elbows at the table and clasps her hands like Leia taught her. “The people of Vos are happy, but soon they’ll realize their mistake and will be asking for our aid.”

“Yes, yes, of course they will.” Visigoth smiles with sharp canines. “The people of Ryloth think it’s simply fascinating that a Twi’lek is sovereign ruler. I hear tail-heads are-”

“That’s enough !” Rey swivels her chair to see Rose standing at the door.  “Senator Visigoth you have no right to speak to any of us like this.” Rey feels elated at Rose’s presence.

“Hm ?” Visigoth raises an eyebrow and rubs one of the many rings resting on his fingers. “Commander Tico may I remind you who is providing the most assets to Resistance’s cause ?”

 They all go silent. Visigoth smiles again and turns back to Rey. “You’ll be surprised to know young Rey that I actually am not here to berate you or your vacation.”

“I’m not going through any more tests.” The sensation of needles and scanners makes Rey fidget. Visigoth and his senators treated the Force like it was valuable ore and shale to be mined.

“You don’t even know what you’re declining.” Visigoth looks to Poe. “I want to bring in some measuring devices and a few more knowledgeable in the Force to review your little savior.”

“Hey ! I said no !”

Visigoth still isn’t looking at Rey despite her voice filling the whole room.

“General Dameron, I promise that when I borrow her you’ll be heavily compensated. I understand a new class of X-wings has been on your list for some time. I know that in the long run understanding her powers will benefit us all.“

Rey turns to Finn. He looks as exasperated as Rose and just as powerless.

Poe looks over at Rey and silently pleads.

“General,” Visigoth embodies a level of condescension that Rey thought only Unkar Plutt could possesses.  “I think it is pertinent that we also prevent any more incidents.”

He turns to Rey fully knowing that he’s dug into her weakest moment. She had lost her temper once, but once was all it took for them to begin treating her like a rabid curr.

“Fine !” Rey butts in before she knows Poe will inevitably sell her out. “I’ll go through your tests again.”

“Rey-” Finn’s face looks regretful, but Rey doesn’t care.

“I would lay my life down for you all. These tests are nothing compared to the suffering endured all over the galaxy.” Rey wants to scream or cry, but she instead shoves those feelings deep in her stomach. Rose won’t look at her and Finn just seems sad.

“Thank you,” Poe pats her on the back and it takes every ounce of composure for Rey not to swat his hand off of her. “I promise if it gets to crazy we’ll stop it.”

“I’m sure the girl who killed Supreme Leader Snoke can handle a few minor tests.” Rey wants to punch Visigoth in the throat.

\------------------------------------------------

“I’m finished, Supreme Leader.”

Kylo raises his eyes from his work. The child has exceeded his expectations, but he keeps his face neutral. He says nothing and reaches out for the child’s data-pad. The stormtrooper remains stiff and holding her hands clasped together.

 Immediately it’s clear where the holes in her education are. Engineering, military order, and military conduct are next to impeccable; she received full marks on the portion of the test identifying schematics and parts to blasters and tie-fighters. In stark contrast historical knowledge is frighteningly low alongside language comprehension. They must have ripped her from Arkanis before they finished her schooling.

 “It’s odd that an articulate stormtrooper would score so poorly on the language portion.” He looks up to gauge BN-2135’s emotions behind her lifeless mask. She's stung by his observation, but he senses she knows it’s true.

 What takes Kylo aback is the low emotional aptitude. The test indicates high levels of aggression present and a mental instability. Kylo barks with a low and barley suppressed laughter. The noise startles the girl as she fidgets.

 “You can’t be serious ?” Kylo holds the data-pad up to show the girl the results. “You’re a sniffling creature who jumps to apologize at the slightest offense.”

 “.....I’m sorry, Supreme Leader.”

 “My point exactly.” Kylo can’t see past the child’s mask, but he imagines a soft and wide-eyed girl is the one piloting the blank and inhuman uniform. “You’ll do well observing and answering my questions. You were unassuming enough. No one noticed you going to get records from the archives.”

 “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

 Kylo pulls out the names and faces of the various officers he’s collected. “How known is Admiral Dalin in your corp ?” Admiral Dalin was a particularly loyal crony to Brendol Hux and now to his son.

 BN-2135 goes completely still and silent. Her mental state is in utter panic in contrast to the demeanor she puts on.

 Kylo sighs. “Immunity, remember ? Or, I could take what I need from your mind if I wanted to.”

BN-2135 shifts uncomfortably in her seat and Kylo feels a pang of guilt through his stomach. No, he refuses to do that to a child. “I won’t use the Force on you unless I must. How can I assure you of my word ?”

He pulls his chair closer to the Stormtrooper. He’s not sure how to be gentle and authoritative. How can he make this tiny creature understand that he feels the reins of his power slipping and that if he lets go the galaxy will fall into a chaos lead by someone like Hux ?

It’s insane that he has to do this. Snoke and Skywalker never had to pander to children. Ben Solo had always just given in. Han Solo’s gift of ignoring higher powers hadn’t revealed itself till Rey had needed Kylo in the throne room.

BN-2135 swallows and Kylo hears her throat click through the modulator. “Supreme Leader, I know I must not ask questions.”

“I never said-”

“I don’t know if I can do what you want if I have so many questions.” BN-2135’s stare through her cold helmet bores holes in him. The sensation of being dissected by Rey is familiar, and feeling it through the child surprises him.

 “You agree then to serve me as an assistant and spy on the condition that I answer your questions ?”

  _It will be as if you have an apprentice._

 “Yes, Supreme Leader. I agree.” BN-2135 nods and Kylo feels pride swell in him.

“This is good actually, we can fill in the holes of your education. You’ll be fit to start your schooling again soon as our work is done.” Whether the girl was a spy for Hux is of no consequence now.

She’ll hopefully live up to what Kylo is expecting. A few simple frivolous questions should be no expense to the mission.

“What happened to Captain Phasma ?” BN-2135 asks slowly and in a hushed whisper.

“That’s your question ?” Kylo’s not sure where this girl is trying to lead him.

“Did she die ?” BN-2135 pushes and Kylo recognizes some of that spark that had brought her to his door to perform an impossible mission.

“Yes, she died when The Supremacy was spilt.” Kylo must be careful with how much he says about the traitor. He knows that Hux and Phasma had been careful to keep the defection hidden. Stormtroopers knowing that it was that same defector trooper who killed Phasma could open up a world of issues.

“Did the traitor kill her ?” BN-2135 whispers darkly.

Kylo almost chokes. How did this miniscule girl know about FN-2187 ? Did the other members of her cadet corp know about Rey’s treacherous friend  ?

 “No, you had your question. Now we get back to work.” Kylo pulls the list of names and faces again. He decides to jump to the point and go to the lesser worries later. “Tell me what your cadet corp and the other troopers think about Hu-”

A sharp pain strikes him and he grabs for his head. He thinks of Rey as the world blurs around him and he falls to meet the floor.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

“Ben ?” Rey whispers in the dark of her room. She could go rest in the Falcon, but she doesn’t want Chewie or anyone to see her after the humiliation of meeting with Visigoth. She feels like a child again hiding in her AT-AT. She needs someone to talk to, someone who the Force possesses as well.  She still can’t believe Poe had just _given_ her to Visigoth.

“Thank the stars.” Ben responds. His voice is cracking and sounds weak.

“You sound like a protocol droid again.” Rey curls up in a ball and leans against the side of her cot on the floor.

 “You found the kyber.” He appears in front of her sitting on the floor in a very similar state. “I passed out the second you made contact with it.” Rey watches him run his hand through his hair. His eyes are puffy and his face is red. Rey wonders why he always passively accepts her insults. “I believed you were dead.”

“Were you crying over me ?” He chose the dark over her and yet he weeps. “What do you even have to cry over ?” It sounds cruel and she hates the way the guilt swims in her after insulting him. It used to come so natural.

“You found something else didn’t you ?” Rey scowls, he avoids her questions deftly and reads her like an open book. “To answer your next question; no, I did not read your mind. Your face says it all.”

“Do you remember Tennel ?” Rey has no one else to tell about the orb, about the visions the Force showed her, about how running Visigoth through with her saber sounds like a rational idea. She had wanted to keep the discovery of Tennel and the orb a secret from him as well, but she can’t do it. Luke Skywalker and the rest of the Jedi were powerful enough to keep secrets for thousands of years, no wonder Luke wanted them to end.

Ben looks away as if he’s on his own now. “I should have guessed he would hide on Vos.”

 “There’s no point in looking for him. He’s dead anyway.” Rey refuses to be responsible for Vos being any more entrenched in First Order observation.

 “Of course he is.” Ben grumbles and curls up further into himself. “Be careful with whatever you found. Tennel never played by the rules.”

 “You would have killed him anyway.” Rey doesn’t want to argue with Ben, but Visigoth’s attitude and the deal she had to make burn fresh. “It was an orb, just a simple orb.”

 Ben’s eyes widen. He looks like a sputtering fish beached on the shore.

 “You’re deceiving yourself if you think it’s just a simple orb. ” Ben confronts her with knowing and fiery eyes.

 “When I touched it I felt the Force scream.” Rey had reached for the sphere and the cave had burst into colors and sensations. Her hands had burned and whispers had filled her ears. “It wasn’t in pain. It was in happiness.”

 “You haven’t told anyone of this, have you ?” Rey understands Ben’s intense look tied to the question.

 “No, but-” Rey is cut off as Ben disappears.

 Rey uses the Force to throw her cot across the room. Luckily no one comes to bother her while she cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't it great when your force bond buddy's wifi kicks out and the call is dropped ?


	5. Chapter 5

“She’ll like it ?” Rey looks down at the journal and pen wrapped in crude electrical wire and thin, translucent, colorful paper. Paper and writing utensils were luxuries for her on Jakku, very fine and simple pleasures that helped her get through what had once been never ending scratches on the walls of a defunct AT-AT. 

 

“If she doesn’t then we can just give her an annoying bird-puff from The Falcon.” Finn ties a hunk of string and cloth to the quartz and quickly dodges Rey’s light punch to his arm. “She loves birds, I’m sure she’ll be able to handle one of these weird bugs.”

 

“The porgs are sensitive ! Leave them alone, you bully.” Rey fiddles with another electrical wire on the package.  She tries not to think about how the Porgs aren’t the only foreign thing on the Falcon. The night prior Rey dreamt of the orb and kyber crystal calling to her. 

 

Finn’s plan of distraction, a small get together to celebrate Rose’s birthday, is what Rey needs to briefly silence the impending lies that stack up in the Falcon and in her life. A pause in the fighting is rare, for Poe and his squadron it’s a drink of brandy, for them it’s small gifts and novelties. 

 

Rose had given Rey similar coils to tie up her hair. There were so many Jakku women who had extended their hand in an attempt to mold her or bring a feminine touch, but Unkar Plutt had made sure they never got far. Flowers and roses could never grow on Jakku, but in the walls of a rebellion they bloomed in the form of tenacious and sisterly mechanic who had blossomed into a commander. 

 

“I’m sorry we didn’t do this on her actual birthday.” Rey states the obvious. War doesn’t plan for them.

 

“Yeah,” Finn shrugs and rubs the back of his neck.  “It wasn’t our fault that a bomb interrupted the council meeting. Or that you’ve been exploring Leia’s mystery books.”

 

“Or that you’ve been dashing around the galaxy giving speeches. And fighting every battle.” Rey cajoles lightly, but it’s true. 

 

The Resistance loves showing her off when she’s not holding a lightsaber. The term ‘Jedi’ holds different meaning to everyone she meets. Finn in contrast is luminous, light on his feet in battle and power in his words and experience. He’s living proof that the First Order can fail. 

 

The major systems still under the thumb of The First Order whisper Sith Slayer with mixed results, but Finn’s name is consistently reverent. 

 

“Hey,” Finn leaps up completely overtaken with an excitement that makes Rey jump. “She’s walking up the ramp- Uh, kriff. I think we’re supposed to surprise her ?”

 

“Why in hells of Jakku would we do that ?” To Rey most of these formalities are too strange for her, like the Caretakers on Ach-To and their beach parties.

 

“I think- Rose ! Hey !” Finn shouts as Rose walks through the door and raises her eyebrows. You’d never guess that Finn and Rey had been on seven stealth missions in the last year. They both stand dumbly with poorly stuffed packages in their hands and amateur looks on their faces. 

 

Rose laughs at their haphazard surprise “Is this an intervention ? I just had one with Sindian.”

 

“The New Republic is gone and yet those bloggins survived.” Rey grumbles, Sindian is only marginally less of a cretin than Visigoth. 

 

“You’re right this is an intervention,” Finn smirks at Rose and hands her the quartz. “Commander Tico I’m relieving you of your duty for thirty minutes while we eat some stuff that I think is chocolate.” 

 

“You’re both weirdos.” Rose smiles and sits with them at the dejarik table. “You know we shouldn’t be taking breaks like this.”

 

“X-wing pilots get to.” Rey had believed she was the most devoted to work till she met Rose. “Why can’t we ? Just for a moment.” 

 

Rose shrugs fiddles with the switches on the dejarik table. Rey boldly reaches her hand across the table to clasp Rose’s. “I get it,” Rey whispers. “Sindian gets under my skin too. Soon we won’t need them.” 

 

“I don’t know,” Rose clasps Rey’s hand and squeezes. Rey only flinches a little at the contact. “Vos just has me worrying again.”

 

“I mean,” Finn interjects. “Everything has you worrying, all the time…” Rey shoots him a dirty look and he back pedals. “Look, you’re one of the most devoted people we have and all three of us are new to this. We’re allowed to take thirty minutes for us. Leia used to say good intentions are where we start, not where we end.” 

 

“Cheap shot using General Organa’s words against me.” Rose bites her lip and Rey is amazed by how in tandem the two are. 

 

“Yeah, well, she would agree with me if she were here. Open your gifts, Nuts and Bolts.” Finn pushes the wrapped quartz towards Rose and gives Rey the look that she should do the same. 

  
  


\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

“It’s not possible, especially not with Lady Sindian’s sway.” Hux pants and purses his lips while he strides to keep pace as Kylo does his daily march through The Finalizer. 

 

“The First Order could build a weapon that destroys whole systems, but they can’t stop the Guvian Death Gangs from holding a base of operations on Ibaar ?” The sadistic joy of throwing Hux into a wall was second to forcing that man to walk with him through the never ending corridors of the ship. Kylo was sure the spoiled brat had never done a day’s march in his life. 

 

Making Hux suffer is Kylo’s sole catharsis for the tension from Rey, the discovery of Tennel’s artifact, the kyber, him passing out, and the endless political nonsense. Kylo hasn’t slept in four days as he awaits the moment his bond will finally reopen.

 

“It counters our interests to go after Prana’s men.” Messing with Hux holds a tainted familiarity to an earlier time in Kylo’s life under Snoke. 

 

“Prana’s assets are dwindling. Dispose of him. Sindian can speak with me personally if she has an issue with it.” Kylo says, the galaxy has no time for old world kings and defunct ladies in waiting. 

 

Hux responds with a huff of thinly veiled frustration.  “Supreme Leader many of these plans mimic New Republic incentives.”

 

Kylo ignores Hux’s jab and keeps walking. The New Republic had been a sham, but not all of it. 

 

If Kylo could puppeteer Hux the rest would follow, but instead he’ll have to go through a longer and a more extensively calculated route. The last few days with BN-2135 have been enlightening. The girl gets him information without fail, and despite her frustrating timidness  and strange mannerisms, Kylo can see she’s an asset. 

 

For the last week she had spied on a series of officers close to Hux. Each time, Kylo is more confused at how the whole of the Finalizer’s superior officers never question a child on board their ship. 

 

Besides tactical advantages, BN-2135 was proving to be exceedingly loyal to him despite hints of her hesitancy to trust other authorities on the ship. Kylo blacking out from his bond had been an unexpected test of BN-2135’s character. 

 

Kylo had come to as BN-2135 had begun attempting chest compressions on him. Scaring the child into swearing that she wouldn’t speak a word of the incident had been sufficient enough into keeping his embarrassing show of weakness a secret. 

 

Besides that, the child was easy to manage. Her questions never veered too far from Captain Phasma, and when they did he could deny her an answer and she would cease to push him. 

 

“Supreme Leader,” Hux starts to hand him data work and interrupts Kylo’s contemplation. “These officers I highly recommend for promotion.”

 

Kylo can’t recognize a single face on the list. Their names and positions are all unfamiliar and the recognizable paranoia in Kylo dwells in his chest.

 

“I approve,” Kylo hands back the list, his voice and face controlled, lest Hux should suspect more holes in the information Kylo has of his empire. “Send the list as well to my personal data banks.” Kylo will rely on his crafty apprentice to fill in the information for him.

  
  


“Supreme Leader, there’s another matter of extreme importance,” Hux speeds ahead of him and bravely blocks Kylo’s path to his personal training room. 

 

On instinct Kylo shoves the rat forward with the Force. Hux stumbles, but rights himself flawlessly. Kylo would give anything to have Hux obliterated from existence. “Sir, I propose we increase the bounty on The Girl’s head three fold and begin the creation of new anti rebel propaganda-”

 

“No,” Kylo interrupts with finality. Rey’s ever growing weary complexion and strain on her are burned into his eyelids. The bond has not opened in a week since she caught him crying; and he worries for her each day that she spends in the company of the enemy. “The bounty we have set is fine.”

 

Hux’s eyes glint, and Kylo instinctively reaches with useless tendrils of the Force to sense the General’s ambiguous motives. 

 

“Supreme Leader, I would hope you’d understand the importance of avenging your late master. The Resistance has no qualms about toting The Girl’s image around, we shouldn’t hold back on exposing her for the monster she is.” Hux’s words cause Kylo’s vision to go red.

 

“She’s one girl from Jakku.” Kylo spits.

 

“Yes, and Luke Skywalker was one man. This one freakish girl-”

 

Kylo chokes him with the years of repressed ire. Hux has no allies present allowing Kylo to show minimal restraint. He drops a gasping Hux to the ground and stares at the sputtering mess on the floor in front of him.

 

“General, be sure to remember your place in my world. Create propaganda against the traitor who fled your program if you’re so concerned with it.” Kylo steps over Hux and into the training room. Before he closes the door he watches Hux lift himself off the ground and shoot him a look that Kylo’s unable to read. 

 

Does Hux suspect his true feelings for Rey ? Is his vulnerability that easily recognizable? 

No, Kylo shakes off the thought. Hux will always be Hux, even more the reason that Kylo needs to speed up his plan to sway the Stormtrooper sector of his empire. 

 

Once Hux is gone he can then disband the indoctrination techniques and disgusting practices of Hux’s father, the very practices that lead to FN-2187’s defection. 

 

Kylo clenches his fist and looks out the window of the training block. The stars momentarily calm him. One day he’ll find peace.

 

The silence in the room gives way to a static sensation that Kylo knows means Rey and him will connect. 

 

Kylo spins around. Before her there would be days where he wouldn’t say a word to a single person. The isolation was crucial to his training and eventually his sole conversations became arguments with Hux, demands for information about the map, sickening compliments to Snoke, or pleas to his grandfather. 

 

Rey made him feel human again. With the bond fluctuating and pulling them together again, Kylo felt real for once. The pattern trapping him could be broken. 

 

Even more so, he can be useful to her. It had been over a decade since a wise Dr.Tennel had enchanted young Ben Solo with myths, maps, rocks, and lightsabers, but he remembers it all in a way that brings Ben back from the shadows. He could resurrect that part of him to help her. Maybe then she would finally be with him, realize that he has worth and that the galaxy needs them both. 

 

“Rey-” He stops himself. She’s there, but not alone. He’s unable to see her surroundings, but the Force lets him feel the essences of others. 

 

Rey’s hair is still in the cruelly tight and intricate braids, except her eyes are bright. None of the sadness he had seen in her a week ago is present. 

 

She laughs and Kylo’s heart picks up pace. It’s the most genuine sound he’s heard in a year. She must be with her friends: the rebels, the traitor, the other girl with the dark hair seen in holo-data they’ve collected in battle.

 

Rey is flawlessly melded into a gathering. A disgusting envy makes his fingers twitch and he swallows the lump in his throat. 

 

“Don’t turn to me,” Kylo silently pleads. “Don’t see my pathetic appearance. Don’t see my lack of sleep. Don’t see how I fail at every turn. Please, don’t see how I could never have this life.” 

 

If he stays still, if he doesn’t breath, the Force may spare him. 

 

Rey’s neck goes stiff. She slowly turns to where he stands. Her lips part barely and then she’s snapped out of the bond cruelly and Kylo is alone in his mind and life again. 

 

The wind is knocked from his lungs. Kylo reaches out again with the Force. The trails of past links are frayed. His mother’s tether no more, Rey’s unreachable, and Snoke’s…..

 

He roughly grabs his own wrist and squeezes to bruise. The reminder of what he deserves and what he’s allowed to have reaffirmed in his mind. Sentimentality is an aspect of life that can never intertwine with his purpose. 

 

Rey’s happiness is what she deserves. Her path for so long littered with pain, but now she has them--her rebellion.  Kylo is nothing more than waste.

 

Did those same friends comfort her when his mother passed ? Were they there at the time of his mother’s deathbed ? A group of proper children and pupils for Leia Organa to comfort her in her last moments--the sons and daughters Leia Organa deserved.

 

Of course, Rey doesn’t need him. She has everyone she could ever need. The same people who can share with her their dreams.

 

Snoke is right; she never loved him. 

 

He’s now smashing his fists into the wall. The metal bends to him and splinters under his rage. A deep gash in his arm from a tear in his sleeve pushes him to pull his saber from his belt and beat at the training room. This will always be his life. The childish and frivolous dreams of compassion and partnership must be killed. 

 

He strikes and strikes, till he is left panting. He presses his head against the destroyed remnants . Wires and electricity spark dangerously near him. He doesn’t mind, it might even be welcome to have the ship electrocute him. Kylo could require a reminder of the times Snoke would punish him with Force lightning, one of his favorite reprimanding tools. 

 

Kylo closes his eyes. No end to his turmoil in sight. 

 

“Supreme Leader ?” BN-2135’s tiny voice through her modulator startles him. He didn’t even sense her come in. How long has the child beared witness to his lapse in control ? “Sir…..I- I-” 

 

Kylo doesn’t lift his head. BN-2135’s stammering tells him that she saw his whole breakdown. 

 

“Place your findings on the table and leave.” Kylo’s voice barely raises above a whisper. 

 

“You’re injured…You could pass out again...” BN-2135 carefully moves towards the table, Kylo can’t see her, but he imagines BN’s eyes are glued to him. The blood seeping from the gash at his arm drips and plops to the floor.

 

“Leave,” Kylo doesn’t turn from smoldering wall. “Do your job, leave.” Smoke from the wall funnels into the room. 

 

“Supreme Leader,” 

 

“I’m giving you an order,” Kylo steadies himself with one hand against the concaving wall. “You are dismissed.” 

 

Why is the girl suddenly stubborn ?

 

BN-2135 is still in the room. He can’t see her from the corner of his eye now that she’s moved back towards the door, but he senses her looking at his injured arm.

 

“Soldier, leave.” 

 

“But-”

 

“Now !” Kylo yells, the whole room shakes. He hears her running footsteps taking her far from his meltdown. 

 

“Good,” Kylo thinks, he doesn’t need anyone else to watch him shamefully sink to the floor in exhaustion and resignation. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the time between updates !


	6. Chapter 6

 

“Look into the lenses and tell us what you see.” Visigoth’s attendants moved swiftly, their machines foreign and steril.

 

“Uh,” Rey hesitantly puts her face towards the large spectacles. “I think it’s a flower.”

 

“What type of flower, Captain Rey ?” 

 

Rey’s cheeks heat up. It’s not her fault she knows next to nothing about plants. 

 

“It’s a red flower.” The attendant frowns at her response and scratches notes on her tablet. 

 

“Uh, hey,” Finn tries to get the attention of another attendant keeping busy with a set of glass vials. He and Poe are leaning on the counter a few feet away from the white medical table Rey sits on. “Is this how The Force works ?” Rey has to hold back a laugh at how Finn leans forward and whispers, like he’s not allowed to talk about it. 

 

The attendant working the spectacle machine smiles with tight, closed lips at Finn and Poe. “We can’t explain the tests with you till after we reach accurate and measured conclusions.” 

 

“Of course you can’t.” Poe says, making a show of folding his arms and looking up at the ceiling with a long sigh. 

 

Finn and Poe had promised to be there with her the entire time. Getting them into the testing room had been a long argument with Visigoth, and protests from the attendants that the data would be compromised.  

 

“General Dameron, we promise this is all-”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, just hurry up.” Poe quickly looks to Rey. He gives her an apologetic nod which she acknowledges with a thumbs up; she had picked up the habit from Finn.

 

“What image do you see now ?” The slide finally switches to an animal she’s familiar with.

 

“It’s a Happabore !” 

 

“It’s not.” The attendant shakes her head and takes more notes down.

 

“It is ! I made friends with many Happapore on Jakku.” Long ago a bet with Plutt had been won  because of a sweet Happabore. 

 

Finn, Poe, and the attendant look at Rey in mild horror and confusion. 

 

“It’s a long story,” Rey says, frustratedly looking back into the spectacles. “Lets just keep going...”

 

“Of course, Captain Rey.”

 

Rey contemplates the holes in her education. It’s another frustration she’s enduring alone. 

 

“We could move to the questionnaire portion of the research ?” The attendant smiles at Rey in the same way an adult would at a small child. 

 

“Fine, of course,” Rey doesn’t add that she thought the slides _ were _ the questionnaire portion. 

 

“Have you interacted with any objects radiating the Force or any artifacts of Force sensitivity ?” 

 

Rey doesn’t correct the attendant and explain  that all aspects of life interact with the Force. “No, besides my lightsaber, nothing else.” The lie slides off her tongue too easily. The orb and texts in the Falcon thrum in the distance, but no one feels a thing.

 

“You didn’t find any.....kyber ?” The attendant fumbles with the tablet in her hands and Rey controls every bit of her face not to smirk. 

 

“No, my mission to Vos didn’t lead me to any.” Poe appears placated with her response, but Finn knots his eyebrows.

 

“Have you had contact with any individuals possessing The Force ?” 

 

“No,” Rey had called to Ben after the party. She was unable to wipe his beaten and tired look from her mind even when she laid to rest. The bond had remained silent, and Rey felt a pain  in her heart while she contemplated where he was. “The last Force sensitive person I was with was Luke Skywalker.” 

 

“What about the late General Organa. Was she able to use-”

 

“That has nothing to do with Rey,” Poe interrupts. Leia’s metaphorical immortality springs up frequently. “Anything relating to General Organa can go through me.” 

 

The attendant shoots Poe a dirty look and continues. “Please relay your confrontation with Snoke.” Now the attendant looks genuinely curious. The other scientists who had been doing innocuous tasks are hushed as they pretend to work. The whole room listens to a lie Rey has told dozens of times. 

 

“Luke Skywalker and I worked together to confront Snoke on the Supremacy. Snoke was expecting us so we were both brought to his throne room. He was brimming with power, but very frail. I overpowered Snoke….using the Force. I killed him. Luke helped me fight the guards and we fled to the aid of Leia. I then met the Resistance on Crait where Kylo Ren and General Hux were waiting for us.” 

 

The attendant's face wrinkles. Every person who hears her story wants grander details. They crave every gaudy part about how Rey murdered Snoke with magic, and how Luke and her then split the Supremacy, even though that was a woman who Rey never got to meet. 

 

“Oh,” The attendants in the room all go back to their work and the one questioning Rey purses her lips again. “Can we go over the precise lessons Luke Skywalker performed on you ?”

 

Rey hates how the fluorescent lights in the examination room make a faint buzzing noise and the way the attendant phrases her questions. An uncomfortable inch rises in Rey’s ski that begs her to get up and leave. “That’s not how lessons work.” Rey asserts, “I’ve already talked about this before, any information about Luke Skywalker is on record.” 

 

“Captain Rey, could-” The attendant stops when Poe shoots her his own measured, non-verbal warning.

 

“Fine,” The woman mumbles. “One more question and then we’ll move on to the next portion of the tests. When do you plan to pursue the recruitment of new Jedi for the war effort ?”

 

Rey freezes, the woman has an indifferent air, but the question stabs Rey. The response solidifies in her mouth and turns into chalk that she can’t swallow. “I’m not sure.”

  
  


\----------------------------------------------

 

Kylo reasons the most logical explanation to BN-2135 being late is that she got lost again, or that he’s spoiled her and she thinks The Supreme Leader’s time is free. He caves and decides to search for her using the Force.

 

His breakdown happened twenty four standard hours ago. He had ordered her to leave, not to stop arriving for their meetings in totality.  

 

The Finalizer is home to thousands of people; Kylo’s quarters keep him at bay from their incessant,  _ living.  _ Yet, if he lets his control go he can traverse the coils of energy and presence. The sensations of thoughts, life, death, all encapsulated in a petri dish of a Star Destroyer are like long hallways that he exerts himself through. 

 

The inability to locate his lackey comes with an uncomfortable twitch in his fingers. It’s as if she doesn’t exist. The fabric of the Force weaves around the lives of everyone on the ship, except for his spy. 

He reaches for her, but grows weary. The Force redirects him and a static spreads across his own mind. His patience thins and the Force snaps like a rubber band, throwing him back into his room.

 

Kylo stops fruitlessly swimming through the consciousnesses of the ship’s population, and opts to pulling up the little bug’s records and assignments. The registry is available to him, but he’s never used it.  Many of his early tasks for BN could have been done himself, but Kylo finds her efficiency and work better due to it’s near untraceable nature. 

 

Kylo controls his anger and shaking hands. The girl has caused another problem, if he opens her records there will be evidence linking them together. He mentally makes a list of all the extra work he’ll be giving BN-2135.

 

The files speak for themselves, date of birth, work history, and other useless information. Curiosity possesses Kylo to thumb through a few extra pieces of data. 

 

Her files reveal that she was indoctrinated from Hays Minor, and took classes on The Absolution under Cardinal; but what draws Kylo’s eye is the review of her mental state and work ethic. 

 

It’s a disaster: four offenses of non-conformity in the last six months, unruly fighting, speaking out of turn, questioning a superior; the list continues. This can’t be _ his  _ stormtrooper. His stormtrooper is a conglomeration of gentle traits that make Kylo question how she’ll survive when in battle.

 

He goes back further in her behavioral status. As she gets younger there are less infractions, if none at all. Her primary offense centers around questioning officers, but whomever took the records didn’t think it pertinent to record any further details. Kylo shakes his head and closes the files, he returns back to her current assignment and tries to forget the curiosity. BN-2135’s life is unimportant to him, it’s her interactions and what she brings from others that matter.

 

The registry shows her current post in the west hall way of the current level, Kylo grinds his teeth when he realizes she’s not far from him. He leaves his room in an angry flurry, she’s going to be demoted for this. 

 

\-------------------------------------

 

“Hey ! Rey common ! Come back !” Finn chases after her, she told them she needed a break and she intends to get it. 

 

“I’m getting something to eat. If they’re so desperate for my cooperation then they can approach me in half an hour.” Rey hurries towards the Falcon. She might be the only person in the galaxy who would ever call the Falcon safe. 

 

“I know, I know- Just wait !” Finn grabs her hand and Rey yanks back. “Please ! Rey, don’t shut me out !” 

 

Finn knows the exact words to get her to stop in her tracks. She turns to face him, and his disappointed look ends her petulance. 

 

“Did you hear what they asked me ?” 

 

“Yeah, the flower thing was dumb-”

 

“No ! Not the flowers !” Rey groans and grabs her forehead.

 

“The Happabore ?” 

 

“No !” Rey stamps her foot, she feels like she’s speaking a foreign tongue. “They expect me to start looking for Force users when we’re in the middle of reclaiming the core planets !”

 

“They didn’t say that; Visigoth’s goon was just asking.” Finn speaks with full assurance, but Rey shakes her head; he doesn’t understand. 

 

“I need to meditate. I’ll be back for the next phase of testing in thirty minutes.” Rey leaves Finn outside the Falcon. When she’s sure no one’s followed her, she retrieves the orb and the kyber crystal. The one that chose her is colored orange with hints of yellow, like a sun set to contrast Ben’s family’s kyber that holds the ink spirals of black. It’s getting worse, but it’s not being corrupted. 

 

Rey had hoped that Tennel’s artifact could shine light through the brackish swirls in the kyber, but she had no luck unlocking it’s true potential. 

 

“Those books can’t do anything for you, Rey.” 

 

Rey startles, grabs for her blaster, and fires aimlessly. 

 

“You’re quick on your feet at least,” Luke’s ghost appears and smiles at her as he completely ignores the pillow she throws at him. “You and Ben have the tools but you’re just not getting it.” 

 

“Thank you, Master Skywalker,” Rey gets up and sarcastically bows. “Your perfect timing and lack of help is always appreciated.” 

 

“You need to talk to him,” Luke says, a new urgency appears in his tone. “You both are there, but you must now let the Force grow your skills. Only then can you realize what you need to do.”

“I’m not a teacher.” Rey asserts to Luke and herself, helplessly knowing that Visigoth and more are looking for something else that they intend to use her to get. 

 

“Neither was I,” Luke smiles knowingly, “Not until I met you, I wasn’t." 

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

Kylo finally senses his stormtrooper’s presence through the Force. He withholds the sigh of relief he feels when he sees she’s surrounded by three other stormtroopers, potentially her peers. He stops and decides to momentarily observe before he reprimands her for her lack of respect. 

 

“Give it,” The tallest of the three stormtroopers shoves BN-2135 forward but she maintains her ground. They’re all armed with blasters, except for BN. Kylo realizes they may be her peers, but not her friends. He maintains his hidden position on the other side of the hallway and waits. This could go badly, but Kylo knows he can intervene before that. 

 

“Look,” a smaller one wants to negotiate, no, pressure her. “We know you have it on you. Higher up is going to confiscate it when they find out.” 

 

BN-2135 shakes her head. They’re circling closer and Kylo decides it would be best to save her now rather than later. 

 

His plan is foiled though, BN-2135 rears her fist back and strikes the leader of the group. Kylo watches in awe as one tiny girl lunges onto the tallest boy and begins attempting to beat him. She’s not stopping and she yells while she does it. The other two lackeys are taken aback just as Kylo is, and they are frozen as they watch their friend helplessly scramble like a bug under a girl who is a foot shorter than him.  

 

The two cronies snap from their shock and they pull her off of the boy. Kylo flinches as all three kick at his apprentice till she’s curled on the ground. 

 

Now is the time to end this. He waves his hand with the Force and all three boys feel compelled to run down the hall. It’s not difficult to sway their minds and when they leave, Kylo slowly approaches the pitiful site of his Stormtrooper

 

“Get up,” Kylo keeps his voice level as he takes stock of BN-2135’s busted armor plate and helmet. “Get up. Get up now.” 

 

“I can’t.” She curls up into a tight ball on the floor expecting another attack.

 

“You can. You threw the first blow. You began the fight: you can get up.” Kylo casts a shadow over her prone form and scans the corridor to ensure no one is coming their way. 

BN-2135 pushes herself up on her hands and knees. Her mask modulator distorts her heavy breaths and Kylo knows from experience that the mask’s internal damage could be burning her face. The boys surely didn’t harm her that badly, Kylo reasons. 

 

Kylo rolls his eyes as BN-2135 paws at the wall trying to find something to assist her ascent. He sighs and propels her up with the Force. The stormtrooper yelps and scrambles on her feet to lean against the wall to maintain balance. 

 

Kylo points in the opposite direction, “Go to the infirmary. You’re going to need a new set of armor.” 

 

“Not allowed,” BN-2135 shakes her head. Static and sparks fly from her mask mouthpiece. 

 

“Explain,” Kylo doesn’t touch her, but he’s ready to use levitation if she falls. 

 

“Been too many times,” BN-2135 shuffles forward clutching her midriff and attempting to walk somewhere. She’s hunched over herself and still shaking. “Not high enough rank.” 

 

“I’ll accompany you there and get a medic-”

 

“No !” She lunges her fist out desperately. Kylo catches her wrist easily and shakes her.

 

“Excuse me !?” BN-2135 looks up at him and Kylo only sees his incredulous anger reflected by the cold, breaking helmet. 

 

BN-2135’s fist is still clenched and she refuses to relax. Kylo feels her projecting the thoughts of a cornered animal, ready to lash out in its final stand.

 

“You value your life so little ?” Kylo tries to soften and read her, and not just read the waves of turmoil rolling off her mind. “If you continue being irrational then I can have you arrested and forced to the infirmary.” 

 

“I’ll die before reconditioning again, Supreme Leader.” 

 

“Your files said you had a mouth on you. I didn’t believe it.” BN-2135 turns her head away and rests it on the wall, she’s deflated her bravado. “The other option is that you follow me to my quarters and you use the first aid kit. You then hope that none of your injuries extend past what supplies I have on hand.” 

 

Kylo knows Stormtroopers go through some course of disciplinary action, but once again, he’s in the dark on what and how. Whatever it is, it has this girl ready to fight. The nauseous feeling that accompanied when he first met her returns. 

 

“No reconditioning ?” And in an instant,  BN-2135 is back to her gentle and hesitant self. 

 

“Yes,” Kylo puts his hand under her arm and begins dragging her down the hall, she pulls away from him and limps when she walks, but is clearly capable of movement. The boys simply scared her, that’s all. “On the condition that you explain to me what you were protecting and why you were three hours late.”

 

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” She’s alleviated and limps quickly to keep up with him.

 

“Also, for your tardiness I’m increasing your workload. I assumed you would be combat trained, but I was wrong. You were sloppy and I can’t save you every time you decide to assault your fellow cadets.” Kylo doesn’t want her believing he's lenient, nor does he want her to ever know that she impressed him with the brute strength she used to protect what her attackers wanted. 

 

“Yes, sir.” BN-2135 surprises Kylo for the third time today by projecting joy instead of resentment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to all the continued support !


	7. Chapter 7

Luke Skywalker is gone, but not really. His heroism on Crait had spread to Leia’s allies and to every planet as far as the Outer Rim. Luke Skywalker’s legendary heroism will never be tainted. The secret of his lapse died with him and rests in Rey and Kylo Ren. 

 

Rey knows better, though. Now alone, she shoulders the ignorance that Luke left behind. 

 

Visigoth and his cronies are still outside. Rey has been hiding in the Falcon for longer than thirty minutes. If it isn’t Finn or Poe who comes to retrieve her, then she knows it will be one of the scientists. 

 

“Breath, just breath.” Rey assures herself. She mentally runs down the list of every obstacle in her way. Her life is stacking up an unsteady pile of lies and artifacts. The irony of being a scavenger isn’t lost on her. The exception lies in the fact there are no Star Destroyers to plunder.

 

“Rey ! Rey ? Are you alright ?” Rey startles for the second time in less than an hour. Rose Tico continues knocking in her usual persistent and quick pace. 

 

“Yes ! Thank you, Rose ! I’m ready for-”

 

“Are you talking to yourself ?”

 

“No ! No-” Talking to a ghost isn’t a legitimate answer. “I was doing an exercise in the Force !” Rey slaps her palm to her forehead. 

 

“Can I talk to you before….Before you meet _ them _ .” Rey knows exactly whom Rose means. 

 

Rey opens the door to face Rose’s keen expression. Rey feels a warm admiration for her fellow commander; she was a woman who had hidden behind pipes and made Finn happy. To Rey those combined traits equaled a person worth trusting. 

 

“What’s happening ?” Will Rey ever stop having to ask that terrible question ?  Rey lets Rose pull her into the Falcon’s hallway. The touch makes Rey itch, and Rose lets go when she feels her pulling away.

 

“Too much in such a short time,” 

 

“Are they still out there ?” Life would be easier if the senators were like sand storms. You can out wait a sand storm in an AT-AT knowing the sun will soon return. 

  
  


“These people, they’re not generals, or even commanders; they’re like caricatures trying to be Leia.” Roses hisses, no fluff or formalities in sight. 

 

“None of us will ever be Leia.”

 

“That’s not what I mean.” Rose looks at the ramp door for a moments. “I’ve been looking through Leia’s journals to-.”

 

Rey is shocked. Those journals had been left to Rey. “Finn said-”

 

“Rey ! Please, listen to me.” Rose’s blunt emotional appeal heats the cold anger Rey had attempted to extinguish. Her deep hatred of Visigoth is hidden, she strains, never wanting to succumb to the power she had during her break down. She can’t go back to those judging eyes, even if Rose is right--even if Rose has her reasons for reading Leia’s journals. 

 

“Finn said we have to hold out.” Rey pushes back.

 

“I don’t want to hold out; I want us to thrive.”

 

“We will !

 

“We won’t if we keep working with them.” Rey cautiously smiles, finally one of her friends understands. The unexplainable protectiveness for Leia’s things passes. “We need to move on. You, me, and Finn.

 

“And Poe ?” 

 

“Of course -” 

 

The ramp of the Falcon opens with a hiss to interrupt them. Finn waits at the bottom; he’s tense, but controlled. 

 

“Don’t end the war without me.” Finn does his best to lighten the uncomfortable air, but the haphazard joke falls flat.

 

“Finn,” Rose nods at him once and he responds with a thumbs up. Rey realizes they’ve been planning this for some time. Relief accompanies Rey’s face breaking out into a grin. She should have never doubted their support or their tactical genius. 

 

“Are we leaving the base ? Did you find a new location of operations ? Did more of Leia’s allies appear ?” Rey asks questions in a flurry, the escape from Visigoth’s clutches feels realer to her with Finn and Rose commandeering the ship. 

 

“We’ll talk about this soon…” Rose looks past Rey’s shoulder. Ahead near the meeting facilities is Visigoth and the attendant tapping her foot. 

 

“We’re very appreciative to have you working with us, Rey.” Visigoth compliments her when they slowly make their way back to the testing room. 

Rey sits on the examination table, making a point to ignore the droid with the scanners and large needle. It has a series of thin, insect like spindles. 

 

“I hate him,” Rey had complained to Leia. Leia used to be the light at the core of a black cloud in war. Another day would pass of frustrating deals and people expecting Rey to snap her fingers with the Force. 

 

“It’s a good thing you never did junior senate debates, Rey.” Leia had laughed and explained that not all of the senators were condescending tyrants. To Rey, the one’s Leia swore were honorable had been lost alongside the Hosnian system. 

 

Even the less radical allies had looked at Rey with unreadable expressions--expressions not lined with admiration--but with intense and frightened suspicion. No one had ever treated Luke Skywalker like a freak when he destroyed the Death Star. Why was Rey different ? 

 

The attendant woman wakes Rey from her day-dream,“Will Commander Tico be attending the test too ?” The woman is clearly frazzled by the prospects of more people ruining her tests.

 

“Damn straight she is,” Poe never takes his eyes off of Visigoth. 

 

“Fine,” The attendant moves swiftly to the spherical droid. In a flash the needle plunges into Rey’s shoulder and she’s left reeling. 

 

“ _ I won’t cry out. Not in front of them.”  _ Her friends look expectantly at her. Rey smiles through a grimace. She’s not glass and she’s not a bomb. Rey craves her friend’s supporting expressions, but the feeling she needs them all to project isn’t there. 

 

Everyone subconsciously is worried about her; no one in that moment is worried for her.

 

Finn does move closer towards her, the room is spinning, but Rey manages to hold up her hand to reassure them. 

 

“That was the blood test ?” Poe looks skeptical.   
  


“Uh, we could move to the levitation segment…Or wait,” Visigoth’s attendant appears almost apologetic. 

 

Visigoth stares right at Poe.“No, our star can handle it.” 

  
  


“ _ I’m not your star, _ ” Rey thinks, refusing to make eye contact with anyone at this point. “ _ I’m not nothing, but I’ll never be your star. _ ”

 

The attendant bites her lip and gathers a series of electrode wires that form a circlet. She moves to put it on Rey’s head, but yelps when Rey uses the Force to grab it. If they want her as a lab rat then she plans to snatch any amount of control. 

 

Rey shakes with indignation. On Jakku she had more say in her life than now. Plutt and her parents controlled her world, but her pride was her own. Each choice and victory was made for hope. 

 

More traitorous thoughts tumble in Rey. There are people suffering throughout the galaxy and she has a full stomach, friends, support. “ _ Why am I so ungrateful _ ?” Rey adjusts the metallic, wired circlet. It’s a bobble that makes her feel like a child playing pretend as a princess. “ _ If only Leia was here. If only Luke was here.” _

 

“Focus on the weights,” The attendant wheels out a cart with pathetic dumb-bells. Rey rolls her eyes. “If it becomes too much for you we can always stop.”

 

“She’s got it,” Poe means it to come out as reassuring, but Rey finds herself growing annoyed. The dumb-bell raises with a flick of her hand, the electrical lights flash steadily. Everything in the room comes to an artificial life, an obnoxious hum emotes while the machines measure a power completely out of their grasp. 

 

Luke had told her the Force belonged to no one.  _ “I’m sinning against life, _ ” Rey thinks. The five dumb-bell’s all lift into the air. She resists the idea that this is wrong, how can this be wrong when she’s doing this for their sake ?

 

“So slow ?” Visigoth interjects and one of the weights crashes out of Rey’s reach. “I expected more from the woman who could lift a mountain side.”

 

The lights and monitors beep furiously. Rey extends her hand forward and spins the weights in unison. Visigoth remains impassive. The vials and machines in the room now levitate as well. 

 

“Uh, sir- Uh, Senator Visi-” The attendants all around look at their tools levitating with unease. One scientist is scrambling behind Poe. The windows begin to rattle.

 

“Rey,” Finn whispers, looking at the frightened scientists while the building creaks with the Force and the wall’s grown with movement. “That’s enough.”

 

“I disagree,” Visigoth gives Rey his signature, assured smile. “I’m enjoying this side-show. .”

Rey seethes. If she wanted she could destroy him. Rey could destroy them all. She sees red and throws out her arm to send a weight straight at Visigoth. 

 

Rey wakes up when she hears the female attendant scream. Her face is bruised and it takes a moment for Rey to realize what she did.  

 

Poe and Rose lead the more than willing woman from the testing room.

 

“Finn ?” Rey watches his wide eyes look to Rose and Poe as they leave. 

 

“Thank you, Rey” Visigoth is pleased. “That was a very…...enlightening experience.”

 

_ “If Leia were here….”  _ Rey thinks.  _ “If only Ben were here….”   _ Rey laments internally.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kylo’s stock of first aid is overflowing with half used commodities; he could rival the actual med bay. 

 

Years of patching his own wounds, along with his lack of affection for the medical droid’s insect spindles, have created a jumble of tools used by a man who once saw his body as a mere extension of another’s will. 

 

He glances up from the drawer he’s rummaging through. Kylo had told BN-2135 to sit atop the lone table in his quarters. The tiny stormtrooper folds her hands respectfully on her lap and keeps her dangling legs motionless. A few electrical sparks burst from her broken mask.

 

Kylo tries to make sense of the series of events that have lead him to this point, having another  person in his room feels strange, it’s not natural in the same way the bond brings Rey to his quarters.

 

If Rey knew that Kylo, The Supreme Leader of the First Order, was busy dealing with a problem child: would she laugh ? No, Rey would never believe he’d be capable of anything less than brutal words and battle. That’s why she left him for her ‘friends’. 

 

He looks out the door again, ensuring his stormtrooper is still there. BN-2135 whips her head down; the little thing must have been staring at him too. 

The lack of sleep could be affecting his abilities, because he can’t seem to wholly feel her through the Force. His insomnia places barriers around the girl, which his powers then run against. 

 

When they had arrived to his room, BN-2135 was justifiably wary. She watched Kylo unlatch each meticulous lock, and push aside the dresser blocking the door. Her anxiousness cascaded in waves that had Kylo twitch with second-hand anxiety. 

 

“Calm yourself,” Kylo ordered. The girl had stood in the doorway before entering, like a knight about to enter a dragon’s den. 

 

Not wanting her to sit in his only chair, Kylo proceeded to motion for her to sit on the table. She had responded, “It’s against protocol to sit atop a table.”

 

“I would believe so is beating your comrade’s face in,” Kylo retorted. 

 

Kylo gathers a kit of his most used medicines. Rey flashes through Kylo’s thoughts while he attempts to suppress a bubbling unease in his chest. Would Rey have responded to BN-2135 in a similar manner ? 

 

Kylo shakes himself from Rey’s hold upon him. Focusing back on the present is never easy when the light flutters in his head. 

 

He moves to the table and sets the kit down. When Kylo hands BN-2135 a pocket mirror, she reaches for it with flexing finger tips. Kylo watches her open and close the pocket mirror and pass it from hand to hand. 

 

“If you’re looking for someone else, then you’ve chosen the wrong tool,” Kylo comments as BN-2135 sticks the mirror right up against the visor of her helmet.

 

“I don’t have to take my helmet off, right ?” BN-2135 says, cupping the mirror in both her palms. She ignores the distorted frequency echoing from her mask. 

 

“It’s concaving. Yes, you’re going to take it off.” Kylo crosses his arms, waiting for the stormtrooper to obey his command.  “Close your eyes when you remove it; the internal damage could burn you,” he adds, knowing from personal experience. 

 

“It’s against regulations to take off my mask-”

 

“Unless while during meals, or told otherwise by a superior; I know.” He’s not completely ignorant to her world.

 

A stormtrooper’s mask is useless. It can barely filter out smoke, let alone protect someone’s face. It’s sole purpose is to transform the wearer. Kylo remembers his own mask. It had been a lifeline to him after his world had fallen apart and been put back together by Snoke. Kylo ponders what the mask could mean to his little stormtrooper.

 

BN-2135 pauses, then reaches for the latches with quick, fumbling hands when she realizes Kylo won’t let her sacrifice her health for vanity. 

 

Kylo’s hubris is torn from him when he gets his first look at her. 

 

The girl is soft and round, but the concreteness of seeing, instead of imagining BN-2135, sends shockwaves to his core. Kylo takes stock of how her hair is shaved to an acute buzz and a large scar runs down the left side of her lips to her chin. 

 

Kylo stands unsure what to do with himself. He wishes with every fiber of his being that Rey could be with him. He imagines Rey, in all her miraculousness, being naturally gentle. The child wouldn’t have rip the security of her mask away; Rey could have convinced her to take it off. 

 

BN-2135 clenches and flexes her fingers. Without the mask Kylo observes how her eyes dart, while her forehead is stuck in a skeptical crease. She doesn’t make eye contact with him as her delicate fingers reach again for the mirror. 

 

“It’s always a shock,” Kylo whispers, and BN-2135’s head darts up from staring at her reflection. “Looking at one’s face after a great time.” 

 

BN-2135 nods and doesn’t attempt to respond. Her mind projects a nervousness Kylo’s grown accustomed to, but her curiosity digs claws into his comment. It tumbles in her, and continues to do so as she tests out his medical supplies.

 

“Were you not adequate rank to get bacta ?” Kylo stares at her lip, the scar is deep and Kylo knows the probability of it being permanent is high. 

 

“I didn’t know it looked this bad.” BN-2135 pokes at the old wound, mesmerized by the mirror. 

 

“Don’t deflect my question,” Kylo murmurs, watching BN-2135 uncap a bottle of bacta pills. The girl makes a face when she smells their rancid odor. “You’re not going to enjoy the capsules, but they’ll do the most healing.” 

 

BN-2135 swallows three pills, and makes eye contact with him for the first time without a mask. If only Kylo had his own helmet. "I didn't think about getting bacta. It was a while ago." BN-2135 confesses, and he knows there is a larger story under her nonchalant admission. It's easy to see what she's been fed to say because the speeches come out too refined. 

 

“I need to...inquire about- Uh, I must-” BN-2135 stumbles for formal and measured words. 

 

“Yes ?“ He appreciates her attempts to maintain the illusion of normalcy with her memorized speeches, but the truth is rare and he favors that over her millitary speak.

 

“What’s General Hux’s rank ?” BN-2135’s voice is soft and lilting without a voice coder.

 

“Did those young men kick your mind loose ?”

 

“The upper deck, technician subadults call him Grand Marshal.” Kylo’s blood freezes.

 

“Where did you get this information ?” BN-2135 bites her lip.

 

“They think because they’re not stormtroopers their special. I wanted to tell you sooner. I know it’s not part of my mission.” BN-2135 now speaks with venom that Kylo didn’t know she possessed. 

 

“Do many of these- What did you call them ?” Kylo has never heard the term, ‘sub-adult’. 

 

Kylo pulls a chair out, and sits to listen to his spy. He’d been using her for petty information, unsure if she was ready to go prying into deeper secrets; she’s showing him his uncertainty was wrong. 

 

“Sub-adults-- they’re terrible, Supreme Leader. Captain Peavey yells at them at least-” BN-2135 stops, clamping her jaw shut and throwing her hands over her mouth. Removing the mask has made her more willing to talk; it’s the conditioning that’s blocking progress. 

 

“I know what I can do for you,” Kylo grabs his data tablet and pulls up her records. Her four non-conformity offenses glow menacingly alongside the other petty issues. “What will occur if you receive another reprimand ?” 

 

“Reconditioning again….” BN-2135’s hands trail away from her face, eyes scour over her own record when Kylo holds it up. A bone-deep exhaustion encompasses the girl’s cold expression, “I forgot about those.”

 

“Explain the cause of your latest offense.” Kylo pulls up the most recent reprimand, having occurred two months prior. 

 

“I got in a fight.” BN-2135’s mind shys away from his powers.

 

“Over what ?” Kylo pushes, BN-2135 swallows and looks at her broken stormtrooper mask. 

 

“Fine,” Kylo flicks his wrist and the first aid kit flys from the table into his hands. “You can have this when you start cooperating.”

 

BN-2135’s face concaves into sadness, like her mask. 

 

_ “You’re a monster.”  _ Rey’s words brush against Kylo’s guilt and burn his insides. When did he become so weak ? 

 

“You were fighting over the same cause in the hallway, is that true ?” Kylo attempts to move forward. He takes note how BN-2135’s eyes widen at his assertion.  “Whatever you’re fighting for, you believe it’s worth being brutalized. What is it ?”

 

“It’s special, Supreme Leader.” BN-2135’s earnesty is pure. It contrasts the backdrop of all Kylo’s seen in the last decade under Snoke. 

 

BN-2135 unlatches her chest armor--like she’s a droid opening a panel to her mainframe--and lifts out a hidden, crude linkage of wires and electrical coils. At the very center of the link is a hunk of shiny chrome. BN-2135 removes the necklace and holds up her prize with a genuine smile. 

 

“You were willing to throw your life away for garbage ?” BN-2135’s appalled at his lack of reverence. She gathers her makeshift necklace and lifts it proudly in the clasp of her fist. 

 

“This is the last piece of Captain Phasma’s armor !” BN-2135 holds it out to him, shaking the poorly made jewelry in a misguided attempt to get Kylo to comprehend what she sees. 

 

“Your strange appreciation of a dead woman is going to get you killed,” Kylo stands to loom over the foolish girl. He tries to take the necklace from BN-2135, but her grip tells Kylo that her belief in unshaken. “Let me see it; I have no use for it. I just want to see.”

 

BN-2135 looks up at him. Her stature makes it so Kylo will always be looking down at her. He sighs at this, and proceeds to lean down to her eye level. 

 

“Supreme Leader, please, it doesn’t affect my loyalty to The First Order. I know it’s-”

 

“Hush, I don’t care,” Kylo interrupts. BN-2135’s eyes follow his hands, unable to let her only true possession go. Kylo imagines Rey’s AT-AT full of meaningless, rebellion drivel, but he also remembers five feet away, behind a closed door, rests the last remnants of his Grandfather. “I will return it. I promise.”

 

BN-2135 reluctantly releases her memento. Kylo holds up the small trinket to the light. The wires are painstakingly woven and cared for, small thumb prints cover the chrome gem; it’s filled with sentimentality. A lump grows in his Kylo’s throat. Rey would appreciate what his apprentice has made. 

 

“How did you acquire this ?” Kylo remembers Phasma’s coronation where she received the silver armor. He had not attended; it was Hux who had made sure to let Kylo know that the new captain of the stormtroopers would be donning a regalia associated with Emperor Palpatine. Hux relished bragging to Kylo on how loyal Phasma was to The First Order. 

 

“I was in sanitation when they downed the Supremacy for repairs.”

 

“And no one noticed you ?”

 

“No one ever does, Supreme Leader.”

 

“Except for when they do,” Kylo had felt a particular pain when he had walked among Rey’s memories for the first time. Watching BN-2135 put her finger tips up to her scar brings that pain back fresh.

 

Kylo realizes that if her hair were not buzzed it would be black. It wouldn’t be curly, like his own, but it would be similarly dark. 

 

“All of this,” Kylo shows BN-2135 the records and necklace in hand. “It can all be forgiven.” 

 

It takes three pushes and a swipe of his data-pad to tamper with her identity. BN-2135 watches in amazement with a slack jaw. Her record now appears clean. 

 

“I- But, that was in the registry-” Kylo holds up a hand to silence her. 

 

“I have power over the entire Order. Nothing escapes me. What you deem sacred is nothing more than an amalgamation of laws created by Hux.” That’s not true; if it was then he wouldn’t need her help.

 

“But-”

 

“I recommend you not have this with you,” Kylo hands her back the necklace and the first aid kit. “You need to find a place to keep it, not on your person.”

 

“I have a place where I hide things-- in the wall, Supreme Leader….” BN-2135 expects him to reprimand her; he nods in agreement much to BN-2135’s surprise. 

 

“I suggest you do so. We’ll be meeting early tomorrow for your combat training and the missed work of today.”

 

BN-2135 stammers and twists the wire necklace in her hands, “Thank you, Supreme Leader.”

 

“I’ll have a droid bring you a new helmet and uniform. The room next door is empty. I believe there are a few chairs. You are dismissed.” Kylo waves his hand, he’s ready to have the peace of his empty room. He can’t bear to look at the bare faced child any longer. 

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Ah, and I’ll tell the droid to give you a com-link so we can commune. You wasted valuable time having me hunt you down.” BN-2135 salutes him.

 

“No, you bow,” Kylo corrects. 

 

“Do I kneel ?”

 

“No !” BN-2135 flinches, throwing up her hands. “I- No...You don’t need to kneel.” Kylo clarifies, adopting a softer tone. She’ll never know how he has nightmares of kneeling for hours on a cold floor, in a room the color of blood. 

 

“Is your arm feeling better, Supreme Leader ?”

 

“I said dismissed !” 

 

“O-Okay, Supreme Leader.” BN-2135 begins to salute him again, and backpedals into a bow. She hurries out. Kylo rubs his temples. 

 

Kylo must increase the girl’s fighting performance, or she’ll be slaughtered. The issue of Hux’s reputation amongst the First Order proves to also be growing in severity. 

 

“Why must I do this alone ?” No one responds. 

 

Vader’s room beckons, a placebo for speaking with another human, but Kylo can’t fool himself into believing it will have the same effect as seeing Rey’s light.

 

He goes to lament to a dead man, despite knowing the meaninglessness of it all. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter seven is up ! Thank you to everyone for the continued support !


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Space kids finally meet up again after not really talking for a few chapters.

The hatch on Rey’s AT-AT used to conveniently fail during stand storms. Before the Force, Rey tried not to think too heavily of fate. If fate was real, then it only existed to reinforce her punishment on Jakku.  
She’s in a dream again. Her AT-AT remains unplundered after more than a year of her not being there, a clear indication that everything Rey’s seeing is a figment of The Force. 

“It’s the same as when I first saw it in your memories.” Ben and her are sitting on the floor, like they’re two close friends who have come in from a long day of exploring Star Destroyers. He’s dressed in the robes he wore in the forest-- a wrapped package sits in his lap. 

“When you first took it from my memories,” Rey corrects, her patience thin. The last day had stood out amongst a myriad of terrible days in war, she’s not in the mood to fight with him. The secret part of herself--the piece that Ben uncovers-- is overjoyed to see him, but she won’t acknowledge it. 

“You’re angry with me.” Ben narrows his eyes, expression uncertain, but calm. He hugs whatever is in his hands closer to his stomach. The rough sackcloth around the object contorts to a shape, but not enough to be recognizable. 

“Wonderful observation, Kylo Ren.” He flinches at her simple jab. 

“So, we’ve returned to where we began,” Ben’s eyes roam over the possessions in her AT-AT. Rey can’t help the feeling of self consciousness; this was once her world and a possessive rush overtakes her. “It should be me that is angry with you…” 

“Over what ?! What did I do wrong now ?” Rey wishes she could wake herself up from the mess that is starting. She won’t be able to reel herself in and neither can he. 

“You-” Ben falters, “What do you mean ?”

“This is insane,” Rey stands, moving to leave.

“No, wait, please !” Ben knocks his head on the low ceiling and curses, all while attempting to keep his sack-cloth possession hidden. Rey doesn’t remind him it’s only been a few days since they talked. How long before her tolerance for playing their game runs out entirely ? 

If he wants her, he’ll follow. This is partially Rey’s dream, her hammock has to be here somewhere. 

Ben sheepishly stands aside when Rey throws herself into the hammock. 

“Leave me alone,” Rey rolls over to curl into a ball. The mindscape gifts her rebellion doll at her request so she may squeeze it against her chest. Early days of pretending flash behind her tear filled eyes. The old times of trying to save imaginary, downed Rebellion fighters. It had been her and Dosmit Raeh, the X-wing pilot friend she created. 

“Have you been researching Tennel’s orb ?” Ben changes the subject for once, rarely does he ever let her get away with denying the truth. 

“No time when you’re destroying the galaxy.” Rey rubs her hands into the rough hem of her hammock. Everything in her home is worn to the stitches and a bitter heat tinges her cheeks. 

“Is this about Vos ? Don’t lie; Vos is better off under my rule ! They’ve been liberated from tyranny ! Soon the rest of the Unknown Region planets will be as well. ” Ben raises his voice, but Rey can hear the whine and desperation in his tone.  
What would the Resistance think if she told them that the Supreme Leader could come apart simply from Rey ignoring him. How many consoles have faced his ire in the year they’d left the bond unopened ?

“No, not only Vos,” It could be about many things. Vos is among the orbiting problems that surround the major one: The Resistance wants Force sensitives. 

If this were not a nightmare, then the air would be cool, instead it’s hot and dry. The emulation of Rey’s personal safe haven can’t produce figment cool air. Only sweat and tears. 

“You’ve been doubting yourself again. Falling into regrets and letting them pull you under.” Ben stands beside her, not touching, but his proximity says he’s moments from reaching for her. “You can still join me; you’re always saying it isn’t too late.” He’s now on his knees beside her, but Rey won’t turn to face him. 

“Ben ?” 

“Yes ?” He says, his voice treading on a blatant and powerful honesty.

“Did you and Luke ever go looking for more Jedi ?” Rey holds her breath, unsure of what such a question could illicit from him. 

“Where is this coming from ?” Rey glances over her shoulder. She had expected many responses: anger, rage, impudence like her own; but she never expected him to look so winded--like the conversation has knocked the energy from him. He’s still clutching onto the small package and pawing it from hand to hand.

“Did you ? Did you ever look for them ?” 

Ben swallows and looks beyond Rey’s shoulder. He’s gone into his head again.  
“You don’t have to tell me all of it. Just tell me if you did.” His mouth twitches, the words all jumbling in his throat and against his lips. “I’m sorry I yelled, even if…..”

“That was yelling ?” Ben says with a miniscule, coy smile. It’s small enough that it’s barely visible, and in an instant it’s gone. Rey would give anything to bring it back; the quirky feature makes her want to grab him and demand he do it again. “Rey, there are so many things I wish to tell you.”

“Then tell me.” She insists, with a deserving push, not physically, but in her inflection. 

Ben collects himself. He’s giving her the same look he had when he told her about the temple, but he won’t be stopped. Rey has come to hate and love this man for every part of his being. His brutal truths she loathes, but the lack of illusion he adopts with her is something she’s never had before. His words can be riddles, but never lies. 

“Much of Ben Solo’s life-- my life-- was built on falsehoods,” He begins his story, carefully measuring each word. “Luke- No, Skywalker was hesitant to take me on. I did not understand why till much later. Truthfully, he was hesitant to take anyone with the Force. Skywalker made do by surrounding himself with Tekka and other men who admired him, but never students. He had only originally wanted my mother as his student….he loved her very much. She was light--pure.”

It doesn’t take much to pick up on how he wistfully describes his family’s bond. Rey wants to correct him, tell him that Leia wasn’t all light; but she holds her tongue. If he stops his story now, he may never continue.

“There were twelve of us. We went looking….once...but the Force, after my grandfather’s death, it was as if it had been wounded. Skywalker latched onto me….because I was one who could commune with it. I had been untouched by the Force’s wound. I was not wholesome, though. My soul was unclean and he knew that as my power grew so would it’s corruption. ”

Jakku wind and sand howl outside her imaginary home. There is no one in this world but them, yet Rey can’t miss how Ben looks to the door. Does he expect Luke or Snoke to interupt them ?

“You don’t have to continue….I understand,” Rey fills in the blanks. 

“I want to continue, but I must have a reason to dig up this failure.” Ben’s robotic speech keeps him encased. Rey grabs onto his arm and pulls his stiff body into the hammock. Ben delicately places his item on the ground, forgetting this is a dream, and lets Rey guide him beside her. Despite his willingness to cooperate, he violently stills and refuses to relax when she gets him nuzzled next to her. Rey could be lying next to a stiff board.

“Please, let me hold you. Let me hold you before I tell you,” Rey whispers into his chest. His whole body eases suddenly but his hands still hover over her, unsure of where to rest. A few fidgets and pokes have him shaking, yet rested beside her. Her touch disarms him and equally throws him into a hyper awareness. They rock back and forth in their fictional hammock, in their selfish fantasy, with their ignored responsibilities far away. “Ben, the Resistance wants me to go looking for more people like us.”

Ben squeezes her in response. His violent shaking is back, you’d think Jakku had frozen over.  
“Your friends ?” He angrily spits the word ‘friends’. 

“Yes, they do too.” Rose and Finn’s plan was beautiful, or as beautiful as war can be without remembering that it’s war. One of the many moons surrounding Vos was home to underground stockpiles left over from the galactic civil war. A stockage of precious gems could give the Resistance the boost it needed to cut ties, or at least have higher negotiation power, with Leia’s less than honorable ‘allies’.  
Rose had once lived in a mining colony. She knew how to identify the stockades from documents as old as the Clone Wars and could aid them in secure extraction. 

Rey had been elated. Tennel’s strand and cave would be impossible to mine, this new information was a real hope. The assault would include her leading the ground charge, while Poe lead the ariel attack. Rose had closed her documents and beamed while Poe and Finn slapped her on the back. But then, the truth came out. Rey had thought there would be hesitation on Poe’s part to cut ties with Visigoth and Sindian, but he had been supportive. 

“We’ll burn the First Order down till they’re soot in the wind !” Poe’s smirk taking on the familiar power it had early in Rey’s friendship with him. 

“After the assault, we can then fund an expedition for Rey,” Rose had said, Rey looked around dumbfounded. 

“Rebuilding The Jedi order before Visigoth or Sindian do is crucial.” Finn’s words had pierced Rey’s chest. Rey had looked around, no one had objected. No one came to her aid. 

“You know what they plan to do, don’t you ?” Ben tethers Rey back to the present. She can’t tell him what happened, he wouldn’t understand in the same way Rose, Finn and Poe don’t understand. “If you find more Force users they will be subjected to tortures unbeknownst to even the most hardened of warriors.”

“You think my friends would do that ?” Ben only speaks the truth to her, but he believes these outlandish lies to their core. She digs her fingers into his cloak and pulls him closer. “You’re still a fool….”

“Friends: they’re a luxury...A danger as well.” 

Rey clutches to his chest, moreso to harm than to hold. “You think I haven’t been betrayed before ? You assume I was playing house with every Jakku scavenger who came my way ? My friends are good people.”

“This is a war, good people are the first to disappear. They are the first to go through the metamorphosis.”

“We’re not insects, Ben.”

“I’m worried for your safety.“ He rubs circles in her back. Ben is corporeal in the dream, yet his strange ideas make him feel more figment than man. 

“You have no right to be worried.” 

“I know,” Ben’s hand stops stroking her back. He’s resigned to letting them lay at his sides again. “Where would you begin looking for them ? I find it hard to believe that Force users are throwing themselves to your cause. ”

“Why are you asking ? So you can kill anyone you find first ?” Rey’s not foolish enough to trust him with the Resistance’s plans or Leia’s journals. 

“You won’t be able to use the orb if you don’t find more of us.That artifact requires a specific use of energy to unlock it.” Rey freezes. He’s right and she hates him for it. 

“If you were here you could help me. You know these artifacts and you’ve experienced searching for Jedi,” Rey looks up at him, she can see the bottom of his chin from where she leans on his chest. His throat bobs as he swallows. Ben looks to the ceiling, conflicted. “Ben, come help us.”

“Help lead Force users into the hands of those who would mold them as if they were bugs under a microscope ? Rey, I cannot.”

“The tests are annoying; it ends quickly, though.” Rey shoot to cover her mouth. Ben begins to start his next thought before stopping himself, mulling over the implications of what Rey let slip. Panic courses through her. What will he do with this information ?

“They’ve been studying you ? They let people study you ? What have they done ?” Questions pour from Ben’s lips in a panic similar to Rey’s. 

Rey shoves off his chest and sits up to stare at him in a poisonous rage. “Ah, because leading Luke’s students to Snoke was better ? You said you would help me ! You wanted to in Tennel’s cave; why are you turning on me ?!”

“You haven’t changed at all,” he confronts her, hurt and pleading. “You hold onto those who deserve none of your light, none of your strength. They want you like a trained dog, and you’ll give them everything because you’re desperate. I’m trying to warn you !” 

“Is that what they did ?” Rey and him are both sitting up, what comes next should have been in an embrace, but these things never come to fruition the way she desires. “Your friends--Luke’s students--is that what happened ?”

Ben gets up, fleeing from her question, just like his Uncle. He kicks the sackcloth item, having forgotten it was there. She watches him look down at whatever it is before he smashes it under his foot and sulks in the corner of her AT-AT.

Rey lifts the tarp. The crumbled pieces of something are black like soot. Ben curls up in the corner, his hands balled into fists near his face. “Would you believe me if I told you that was Darth Vader’s mask ?” 

“There’s not much left that surprises me.” 

“Would you then believe me if I told you that a half crazed Ben Solo stumbled into a place he had called home for the majority of his life, to be met with people who for the last month could only see Vader, and not him ?” Ben’s eyes glisten with tears. ”Can you imagine Ben Solo begging them to believe him ? To believe an outlandish story where the immaculate Luke Skywalker dares to raise a hand against his sinful and tainted apprentice ?”

“Finn and Rose aren’t like that.” Rey seethes, except her rage is more directed at his past than at him. 

“Maybe they are not, but I know you. I saw the way you looked at them while you were together.” 

“I miss you. I wish you had been there.” Rey wants him to feel her sincerity, and she wants it to hurt. He too could have the joy of friends if only he would listen.

“I miss you too, but you wouldn’t have wanted me there.”

“Don’t tell me what I want, Ben.” 

Ben smiles at her for the second time. It’s tight lipped, still small, but proud and enraptured. Rey can’t tell what drives it, but she’s accepts it just as the dream fades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been keeping up with this fic. I know this was a more exposition heavy chapter, but I love writing dialogue for Ben and Rey. I had to split the chapter into two because it was getting long having their dream share + the events of what will be next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

Rey runs through Takodana, her heart beats wildly in her chest and she has only one objective in mind: protect BB-8. Maz had been wrong, the lightsaber was not for her, but saving BB-8 was.The small droid meant everything to The Resistance, and so before she ran, she would save her small friend and keep the map from The First Order. Birds and wildlife sang in a united cacophony as she beats her arms wildly, the gifted blaster in hand. 

She bursts through a clearing, vines and tree limbs give way. In the center of the meadow a stormtrooper fails to see her grand entrance. The trooper is collecting water in a canteen and looks up too late, Rey fires her blaster with only a moment's hesitation. 

Rey’s triumph has its throat slit in the same way the stormtrooper screams. She pulls her blaster back to rest against her chest and steps backwards from the corpse. The crimson plume of red seeps and stains their white armour. The animals of the forest go silent, a stagnation spreads over Rey and every living thing in the woods.

“N-n-no- Wait-” She sputters and spins around when her foot connects with something warm on the ground. Dozens, hundreds, thousands of stormtroopers litter the battlefield. Her actions had tainted the first green haven in the galaxy, would the trees ever grow the same ?

“Rey, what have you done ?” Finn stands among the bodies, he’s dressed in the same armor as the fallen. “Rey, what have you done ?” He repeats, sadder than before. 

“Listen to me !” Rey yells and senses the world collapse under her. 

“Rey ?” Finn is now shaking her shoulder, he’s sitting next to her, dressed in Poe’s jacket and the beige clothing standard for The Resistance. She looks around at the messy shuttle, The Ackbar III, one of the last cruisers not gifted by Sindian or Visigoth.  
“You were dreaming again ?” Finn asks. 

Rey’s stares-- confused and unsure where she is. She runs through what she knows is real and separates what her dreams showed. She is on a shuttle cruiser with Finn and a few Resistance soldiers. Rey’s grateful the soldiers in the cockpit are too preoccupied to hear her mumbling and dreaming. It’s embarrassing enough in front of Finn. 

Rey looks around at the shuttle. They’ve been monitoring the snow barren moon, dropping mining droids in incremental amounts to avoid detection from the First Order. Out the window the pure white snow is untouched and the night-time stars are the only light for miles. “All miners in position ?” 

“All were deployed without a hitch.” Finn leans to look out the window. “This place gives me the creeps. It’s Starkiller all over again.” 

“Yeah,” Rey scrunches her nose, even Starkiller had trees, the Vos moon is barren. 

“I keep thinking Tie-Fighters are going to come over the horizon, doing drills, doing that weird screech.”

“That weird screech ?” 

“You know what I mean…..I dream about them too.” Finn continues staring out into the white expanse of snow. He bites his lip a little and Rey watches his forehead crease in contemplation. Rey’s never dreamt of Tie-Fighters, would hearing them be any better than what she does dream of ? Or could it be worse ?

“We’ll be fine,” Rey lightly pats Finn on the shoulder. The extent of their relationship revolves around gentle reassurances at all hours of the war.  
There’s solidarity in knowing that her uncertainty is felt elsewhere. Even if Finn’s mind is a million miles away from ever understanding the weight on Rey’s shoulders, at least she and Ben aren’t entirely alone.

“Rose’s cloaking devices are some of the best in the galaxy. The First Order won’t be able to see us even if they looked.” She says.

“You know, she told me once she thought you were going to come back with an ugly rat-tail braid ?” Finn says, teasing her like they’re siblings. 

“What ? That sounds more like Poe or Connix.” Rey jokes back. Their ritual of banter always on the heels of fear and anxiety. She doesn’t say that she’d rather not talk about the Jedi. Rey doesn’t mention that the night prior she poured over the texts for hours, leaping between hating Ben Solo and wishing he had just come with her. 

She had discovered two elements to the texts: They were named The Aionimica and The Rammahgon. Besides that, they were exhausting. Every page sounded like Luke musing about The Force. Tennel’s journals in comparison were far more helpful, but painful. Leia’s out of the three were the most forward, but they avoided the Force at times all together.  
Tennel knew Ben Solo for approximately a month before the journal entries abruptly stop. Rey skipped over them, she needs to fix her lightsaber and find the will to begin the Jedi Order anew. Ben is like the cave on Ach-To, tempting, but dangerous. If he’ll only give her scraps of assistance than in return she can distance herself from him. It will hurt, both of them, but it has to be done. 

What could Rey even teach ? She knew how to fly and scavenge, but for so many years she had done it alone, you didn’t readily share on Jakku. 

Finn moves to the front of the cruiser. Rey loves the manner in which everyone on board turns their attention to him. “As you all know Vos’s moon has some unique difficulties. Blizzards and short hours of sunlight make Crait look fun, but if our reports are right there’s more to this moon than salt and crystal foxes. Commander Tico’s estimates the extraction time currently at five months. Till then, we have two objectives: monitor the droids and ensure this plan stays quiet.” 

Rey ponders how five months is so fractional, but so infinite. She has five months to begin prepping for her search. She only has five months to master the Jedi way and then begin sharing.

“May The Force be with you all.” Finn ends his speech. 

“May The Force be with me.” Rey silently hopes.  
\---------------------------------------------------

Rey should have killed him when she had the chance. Instead, she left him to rot with his conflict. Her actions should have been her downfall; it was Kylo Ren’s instead. After meeting with Kila Fisto, the twilek dignitary in control of Vos, he had fled to his training room. He could not wipe Rey from his mind. 

Kylo now hacks at seeker droids without mercy in his training block. He imagines each robot as one of his links to Rey. He could do so much for her, he could give her the stars, but no. Rey demeans herself.  
They are cut from the same cloth of sentiment. Kylo tells himself they are different; sentiment will not be his downfall, he will not let the galaxy fall into ruin. Kylo slashes a droid in half and deflects another’s stun shot at him. He vowed to end her, and cannot, so he must save her. He must turn her from the old way of the Jedi before it eats her alive, like it did Ben Solo.

Another seeker droid makes a bold move at Kylo, he ducks and hisses as it catches him on the shoulder with a stun prong

Kylo holds his shoulder in pain. He catches the orb as it hovers away, and uses the Force to make the wretched tool collapse on itself. He takes deep breaths till he hears a small series of claps from the door. 

BN-2135 stands before him, her mask on, and her small hands applauding him. 

“How did you get in here ?!” Kylo had not sensed her. He runs his eyes over the entire room. He can sense a man across The Finalizer sneeze. How did she get in ?

BN-2135 mumbles and points to the door. “I followed you in when you entered, Supreme Leader.”

“Did you not try to get my attention ? You didn’t even think to notify me of your presence ?” He’s growing agitated, has he gone mad ? 

“I did, sir. You were angry, so you ignored me I thought.” 

Kylo nods. The unnatural state of his mind must have kept her hidden. The breaks in between his conversations with Rey are leaving him vulnerable and he’s grateful it was only BN-2135 who slipped past him. He must have been lost in his own mind again. He stares directly at the stormtrooper, analyzing the asset he’s gained. He’ll have to send her and their cadet core to a real school soon.  
Kylo had gained from her that her presence of The Finalizer was uncommon. Young people apparently gallivanted all through the halls of the ship (BN-2135 never wasted an opportunity to disparage a sub-adult technician), but the age limit had at one point been sixteen. Hux was dipping into the younger generations, speeding up the process.  
Kylo must do the same as a result. 

Kylo goes to assemble a set of Seeker Droids for his soldier. “Come,” Kylo beckons for her to stop awkwardly standing at the entrance. “Have you used a blaster before ?”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” 

“Are you familiar with Marksman-H remotes ?” 

“Yes…..” BN-2135 lies. 

“There is much that angers me, but there is much I will forgive due to your natural incompetence. Know this: I do not so easily forgive lying.” The little cretin isn’t even good at it. 

“Forgive me, sir.” For the first time she sounds authentic in her apology; it’s not her wrote speech that she usually spits out in panic. 

“You are forgiven,” Kylo bites the inside of his lip. Damn the child for her genuineness. “As my apprentice you must be truthful to me, I understand you hide your faults, but here that wastes time. Do you understand ?” Kylo stresses his words, unsure what truly reaches her. 

“I understand, Supreme Leader.” BN-2135 bobbles her head up and down in affirmation. 

“Good, the Marksman is set to stun. It will increase speed as you become more proficient.” Kylo sets the droid on medium to high. 

BN-2135 almost leaps out of her skin when she sees the droid hovering “I-I don’t have my blaster !” 

“You don’t need one,” He tosses her a metal staff, she fails to catch it and fumbles to pick it up from the ground. “You had no blaster in the hallway, the devices are fickle, on the battlefield you won’t have the luxury of knowing where fate will take you..”

“Y-Yes, sir.” 

“I would have believed you’d be excited to use a staff, Captain Phasma used a spear similar to what you’re holding.” 

That gets BN-2135 moving. She dodges the stun bolts, but is slowed by her confusion on how to hold the staff. The droid sparks at her and BN-2135 jumps back with a yelp. Kylo restrains himself from giving into the nagging sensation to aid her.He stands against the wall and maintains an aloof observation.

The droid gets in a direct hit and BN-2135 drops her weapon. She rolls and trips over herself as the droid takes advantage of her back being turned.

Kylo moves to intervene, the sight is pathetic and if he’d known she was this weak he would have set it to a lower setting. He motions to summon the droid, but is stopped by his apprentice picking up the staff and taking an arching swing at the sphere. 

Kylo pauses and observes the droid try to upright itself, it’s not programmed for direct hit combat and falters before BN-2135 takes another brutal swing. She’s treating the droid like a hornets nest. 

“Wait- BN-2135, you’re not meant to-” Kylo startles as his apprentice gives off a mighty yell and lifts the staff over her head to bring it down onto the droid. Kylo watches in open mouth wonder as the droid hits the ground and BN-2135 descends upon it, staff in hand. She’s hacking it to pieces with a repressed fury, an old anger she’s been holding in. The machine’s bleats for reprieve intermix into BN-2135’s yells. 

BN-2135 drops the staff with a clatter and throws up her hands in celebration when the droid goes silent. “The threat is neutralized !”  
Bits and pieces of the droid litter the floor alongside the one’s Kylo himself destroyed. “It shall never hurt anyone again !” BN-2135 takes in near hysterical shallow breaths. 

“Indeed…..It never shall.” Kylo cautiously takes the staff from his apprentice, all the while noticing how the girl’s hands shake uncontrollably. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------  
“No,” Finn holds his blaster at his hips and waggles an admonishing finger at Rey. “You haven’t slept in three days; you’ve gone crazy. I’m not doing this.”

“I got two hours last night. I’m fine.” Rey yells back at him from the opposite side of a private and empty ship hangar. 

“Answer is still no.” Finn shakes his head. Rey’s going to have to go for the jugular

“Rose would do it for me.”

“Rose would do a lot of things for all of us; but there is no way in hell Rose would ever take a blaster shot at you…..I think….You’d have to be doing something stupid…..Like this !” 

Rey widens her stance, she won’t be deterred. The Force eggs her on--a month of fighting against Tennel’s strange light saber graphs and arguments from Senators too wrapped up in their goals goads at her too. “Finn, take the shot.” 

Finn makes a noise in the back of his throat. It’s an exasperated shake of his head mixed with his very own brand of chastising refusal and stubborn inability to fire on her. He won’t do it.  
Rey realizes she’ll have to prove what she’s made of (again). “BB-8, activate ceiling and hangar security cannons !” Rey calls to her spherical friend hiding behind miscellaneous boxes. The droid beeps in eager response. 

“No, no, no- Rey, REY !” Finn yells and ducks as the canons activate and aim at Rey. Time slows and her reflexes take hold. Finn opens his eyes to witness her standing below five blaster bolts frozen in midair in a deceiving and peaceful stillness. An air of victory bubbles in Rey’s chest and pops when a sardonic clapping echos in the hangar. 

Lady Carise Sindian stands out of place in the dirty hangar. Her clothes shine brightly and are dyed an ostentatious green. She must be attempting to make her clapping genuine, but it’s anything but menacing to Finn and Rey. 

“G-Greetings, Senator.” Rey recognizes Finn putting on his diplomats voice. He eyes the blaster shots and turns back to the extravagant woman in front of him.

“I’m truly honored to see you both during your training.” Clarisse smiles like she’s looking at a meal. “I know the taxing weight of a five month layover is stressful.” Rey’s stomach drops. They kept their secret for one minuscule month. 

“It is,” Finn nods his head as he speaks, Rey assumes he’s now trying to figure out who ratted on them. “We had thought The New Republic would be unable to fund us.” 

“Is Visigoth still calling us The New Republic,” Sindian laughs and Rey feels her eye involuntarily twitch. “General Organa’s dear associates and I have begun calling ourselves, ‘The Ordered Republic’.”

“So is that the First Order or ‘ordered’ like a puppet ?” Rey has more she wants to say, but holds her tongue with Finn present. 

“I beg your pardon ?” Sindian clutches her gaudy necklace, but is shuffled off by Finn. He’s motioning her towards were Poe’s office is in his best attempt at making her forget Rey’s comment. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo’s apprentice opens the training room door, her panting gives her away and even with his eyes closed, Kylo infers she ran from wherever she was held up. He senses her now trying to delicately walk, a task impossible because of her clacking armour.

“Late again, BN-2135.” Kylo remains in his meditative, sitting position. Kylo in the absence of Rey, and the non-existent guidance of his grandfather, had turned to meditation--an act forbidden by Snoke. He keeps his eyes closed and waits for the string of apologies. “Really, Soldier ? You slipped in here last time.”  
Kylo doesn’t add that he’s never been involved in espionage. His enemies know when he’s coming and he’s done all he can to cut down the memories of a time where all Ben Solo did was run and hide. 

“Forgive me, Supreme Leader. I did not want to disturb, uh, your uh- training ?” BN-2135 murmurs. The sensations of the child’s projected impatience poke at him and demand Kylo’s attention. 

“No meditation for stormtroopers ?” The joke feels stiff, but the thought of the late Captain Phasma and her men sitting in silent, self-reflection is ludicrous to him. Kylo envisions Hux’s face turning as red as his hair while he shouts for the stormtroopers to get up and stop wasting time with playing Jedi pretend. What an oaf. 

“No, Supreme Leader. We do not meditate.” 

“It was in jest, soldier.” Kylo opens his eyes to see BN-2135 standing at the door, she’s holding both her hands clasped around a series of objects. Her helmet is back on and she stands proud despite having just been chastised. 

“What did you bring to show me ?” He can tell she’s impatient, he’s also thankful she’s opting to wear her mask again. He could make her wait, show her that wasted time is a nuisance, but playing mind games with his soldier is exhausting. 

“An Imperial artifact ! All found in the waste-bin collected from Captain Peavey’s room.” Kylo imagines she must be very pleased under her mask. 

Kylo remains sitting on the floor. He can’t keep himself from raising an eyebrow at the child’s claim. “Let me see this ‘artifact’.” Kylo spent his formative years knee deep in tombs and ransacked space stations.  
Whatever the girl has brought him is surely not an artifact. BN-2135’s reverence for garbage brings up borrowed memories of Jakku sand and AT-ATs full of sentimentality, causing him to snatch the item from the girl.

Kylo looks down at a paper carton of sticks sealed with wax sheets. Each is crumbled and lined with a red clay dust. Having Han Solo as a father has taught him exactly what the substance is.

“You swear this was in Captain Peavey’s waste receptacle ?” 

“Yes, I’m on duty for assisting droids in collection and sanitation. The box has the Imperial insignia and it’s not made of metal, Supreme Leader !” The small girl holds out her finding to him. She moves forward to where Kylo is still sitting, eager for him to examine the treasure she’s found.  
Kylo is unable to read whether her excitement has overridden her self-preservation around superior officers or if (he hopes not) she’s becoming comfortable around him. 

“Hm,” Kylo inverts the box, searching for the stamp that will reveal whether it was Naboo or Ryloth that was the origin point for the drug. Without a doubt it’s Spice. He’s surprised the girl, even with her low scores in historical knowledge, could identify its importance. “Do you often see Captain Peavey during your guard duty or waste clean up ?” Kylo is above blackmail, but he knows Hux is not. 

“Yes…..he’s-”

“What ?”

“He hates the sub-adults on the upper decks. He’s one of the oldest people on The Finalizer, I think.” BN-2135 adjusts her helmet, but keeps staring at the Spice she found linked to Peavey. “Is the Captain going to be reprimanded for owning those, Supreme Leader ?”

“No,” Peavey is part of the old world, the already dead Empire, but knowing the man has a weakness for Spice could become of use.  
“I want you to keep watching Peavey. If you see him near Hux tell me,” Kylo is stabbed by a dread emitting from BN-2135 at the mention of Hux. “Immediately tell me.” Kylo adds for good measure, trying to ignore how his trainee is spiraling. Kylo had worked his entire life to close off the unwanted emotions he senses from others, but his techniques pale in the face of BN-2135’s panic.

“Of course, Supreme Leader.” The child still is internally fighting her anxiousness over the General. Kylo hears her thoughts projected loudest in association to red hair, barking orders, and a collective of other pupils. Then, an insidious group of laughter filling the room is so loud in her own thoughts, that he feels the vibrations of it in his skull. 

“BN-2135 ?”

“Y-Yes ?” BN-2135 snaps out of the cloud of dread. 

“Well done finding this.” He wants her to stop projecting the nauseous feelings over Hux. The worry fills him too, and if it keeps going he could be liable to yell at her.  
The compliment does the trick and she wakes up. His small soldier moves to attention and bows without missing a beat.

”But your punctuality has been poor still, next time it happens you’ll be running laps around this training block.” He bites the inside of his cheek, Kylo’s made numerous threats about her timing and has failed to follow through with any of them. BN-2135 deflates and Kylo ignores her. 

Skywalker had put Ben Solo in solitary meditation when he misbehaved. To Kylo the thought of making meditation a punishment seems wrong. He resolves never to do that with her, or isolation; isolation is for criminals.Reprimanding her verbally works fine. 

Kylo picks up his work and sets to making corrections on the latest details from Sinear-Jamus.  
The small soldier follows at his heels, “Supreme Leader, did you ever ask Captain Phasma to do reconnaissance work ?” 

“I ordered Captain Phasma. I never asked,” Kylo corrects, he wants to make the distinction clear. “But yes, Phasma accompanied me on occasion.” He remembers often messaging Phasma on her private com-links, she was methodical and asked very little in return of him.  
“You’re not interested in her eating habits, BN-2135 ?” The child often pestered him for asinine details about Phasma’s life, many of which he could not supply. He had given her the gift of asking as much as she wanted-- a choice he is beginning to regret. 

BN-2135 twists her hands together. “Supreme Leader, would Captain Phasma be doing my job if she was alive ?”

“None of your concern, soldier.” Kylo is unsure of what the dynamic would be if Phasma was alive. Would she side with him ? Phasma showed frustration with Hux’s focus on training simulations, she and Kylo agreed that on field experience was best, but even Kylo could not deny that the General and Captain had a level of familiarity. They were close and confided in each other. They had something that Kylo never was allowed. “Open the assignment I left for you. No more questions till you finish.” 

He had left star chart memorizations intermixed with some of Hux’s more advanced simulation detailings. BN-2135 had been hesitant at first, explaining that Stormtroopers were not privy to what he was giving, but Kylo relished in the opportunity to undermine Hux.  
Star charts had once been ‘fun’ and ‘enjoyable’ to look through for Ben Solo, but Kylo Ren saw every star chart as a vengeful step to Luke Skywalker. For his soldier he wants her to be ready for the many places she’ll one day explore. 

Kylo sits to his own work. Sienar-Jaemus Fleet has rolled out a new series of engineering and aerodynamic catastrophes that he must clean up. As Kylo works he feels an out of place rhythm. The Force hums at him and he’s thrown off kilter.

BN-2135 is quietly doing work, nothing is going wrong. It appears too calm. The ease he feels at having, he dares say, a companion in his midst is out of place. The stars outside the window appear calm too. 

“This would be perfect with Rey. ” Kylo thinks, and then halts the thought. He throws himself back into his work and doesn’t make eye contact with BN-2135 when she bows and dimisses herself at the end of their work cycle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Han Solo would be ashamed that his son is raising BN-2135 to be a nark. 
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter was getting long so I'm splitting it ! The pre-split title of this chapter was five months....So just call it two instead ! (Thank you everyone for bearing with me).


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter has some self harm references and mentions of BN-2135 being abnormally cruel to droids.

“What are you going to paint ?” Rose holds the inactive bomb waiting for Rey to take it. The pay loads of explosives around them say an assortment of Resistance slogans. Some are bitter sweet like, “From Han Solo.” and “Alderaan lives on.” Others are similar to Poe Dameron’s line of thinking with ‘burning’ and ‘carnage’. 

Rey watches a flock of birds playing in the wind currents of Ryloth. They duck between each other and she watches them fly in tandem.

“I’ll think about,” She takes the bomb and begins loading it with a carefully constructed plasma vials. “Why do we write things on them if they’ll never be read ?” 

“The same reason The First Order sends out holo-reels of Phasma in battle.” Rose joins Rey in watching the birds in the setting sun. It’s what Rey admires about her; they can have these naturally quiet periods bonding over animals. The two of them twine their fingers through wires and circuit breakers over each device. If they were on Jakku, a scavenger could mistake them for basket weavers. 

Rey rubs her eyes and focuses on the assembly kit. The night prior Rey had dreamed of Ben. It had not been one of their shared meets, but as a result her mind created more frightening scenarios. He had died in her arms, on a battle field of fire and lava, and The Force had shown her a preview of what it feels like to have a Force Bond shattered abruptly.  
Rey had held him, and her dreams had showed her what Ben Solo was in resignation. The life within him drained away and Rey had wept in her own helpless defeat. The bond was a vein, not a string or rope, it was a vein embedded into them and having it ripped out was the pain that awoke her. 

The tinkering with bomb capsules was a job intended for focus and precision. Recognizing that taking on the task after three sleepless nights is hard--still doing it anyway is easy. 

Rose licks her thumb and pulls back a snap switch in the bomb’s interior. She’s done this so often that the anxiety of dealing with an explosive is pale. “If we finish early we should go and sketch them,” Rose nods her head towards the perched birds. “I’ve got too many pages of porgs.” 

Rey takes note of how Rose is still speaking quietly--pretending that their mission hasn’t already been compromised for months. Rose has stayed true to her plan, maintaining as much of the secretive attitude as could be upheld. Rey respects the way she upholds her hope, a bitterness towards Sindian rests behind Rose’s actions. But, despite the familiarity, Rose is like Finn; they have a bond to the Resistance and Rey only feels a bond to them. The Force creates an infuriating barrier between her and them and building bombs and going on missions isn’t weathering the tension. 

“I haven’t sketched in a long time. I’m out of practice.” Rey pulls back with a hiss and rubs the palm of her burned hand. 

Rose takes a spanner and begins fidgeting, she keeps her head down and her eyes pushed to the corner. 

“Rey,” Rose stares into the core of her bomb as if she were addressing it instead of Rey. “Do me a favor and keep looking at the floor.”

“What ?” 

Rose harshly shushes her and keeps mimicking work. “Corner left, right by the door.”

Rey searches for what Rose means. She makes eye contact with a lanky man wearing an austere tunic. When the man sees her watching he makes a casual move to leave. Rey hopes he’s unnerved by her glare. 

“You were supposed to keep your head down,” Rose admonishes.

“And just let Sindian’s spy do as he pleases ?” 

“This is why no one lets you go on stealth missions.” Rose and Finn’s tandem unity in strategy is the antithesis of Rey’s. On Jakku when Plutt’s goons eyed her, she’d return their looks. Letting them know she saw their failure was a leverage of power. 

“Why do we lower our eyes ? You said you wanted to win--not just get by.” 

“Keep your voice down.” Rose hisses.

“They already know about the mission. I’d rather act like we coordinated this; not hide like children.”

“And I’d rather stay in this organization.” 

Rey is shocked into silence.  
“I never thought of that,” She searches for the trail of Rose’s logic. 

“Of course you didn’t; you’re indispensable.” Rose clamps on her lip after the accusation slips.

The urge to cry sits at the back of her throat. “Is that what you think of me ?” 

“No-” Rose’s eyes glisten. “I’m- I’m sorry.”

Rey knew the risk Rose and Finn took for the plan. It never occurred to her that what they were doing was wrong, or could be used against them. She expected the Vos mission to be shut down, but nothing more. Instead the mission continued on in tense resolution, but Rey had only focused on what that meant for her. 

To Rey she would still be required to begin the new Jedi under the thumb of others. “You’re one of the bravest people here, we need you.” 

“I can’t do that if I’m labeled a traitor.” 

Rey feels sick. Poe wouldn’t let that happen. “You and Finn are commanders !”

Rose seems more despondent than before. “Don’t you think about how Sindian is never in Leia’s journals ? Rey, I’m scared of us not being a team anymore.”

If the Vos mission fails then they’ll want answers, or at least retribution for the personal insult to both Sindian and Visigoth’s pride. Poe gave Rey up for x-wings, and she’s not sure how much he can protect a former stormtrooper and his friends. 

“I need to go.” Rey grabs her things in a nervous pile. They’ve regressed back to the endless bureaucratic circle. Poe argues, Rey gives into strange tests, Finn and Rose make a plan; they repeat the endless cycle. Like the Separatists and the Senate, Sith and Jedi, Empire and Republic, First Order and Resistance. 

“You can’t keep hiding in your ship !” Rose reaches out her hand to grab Rey before she leaves. 

“I’m not hiding,” Rey calls over her shoulder, moving farther away. She needs to contribute to their cause, and not repeating Luke Skywalker’s mistakes is part of that plan. “I’m waiting.”

“What ?!” Rose yells.

Chewie is outside the Falcon, he greets her with a wave and she responds with a small nod of her head. He knows not to bother her when she’s in this state. Rey tries to reject the notion that ‘this state’ has been a trend in the last months since her public breakdown and almost assaulting Visigoth. The pressure building behind her eyes and the hunger to move anywhere that’s not where she currently stands is to blame for it all. 

Rey pulls out the Tennel’s sphere first. It’s handheld form is deceiving; a great corporeal weight rests in it. She’s tried reaching out to the energy it exhumes, but it rebuked her each time. 

“What do you want from me ?” Rey asks the deceivingly inanimate object. 

It hums back at her, but gives no clear answer. She closes her eyes, lets the Force come to her instead of yanking at it. “Please, teach me.” If Rey and Ben were instruments of The Force their role was to be patient, to wait and let the Force do as it will. “ I need something--anything from you.”

Silence fills the room, then, ghosting fingers trace over Rey’s. She shivers and look to her hands. They’re covered in white gauze and bandages she can’t remember tying. 

“Come here, Ben.” Luke Skywalker motions to a seat at a table. They’re not on The Falcon, instead they’re in a hut that could be on Ach-to.

“Yes, master.” The words exit Rey’s lips, but they’re not her’s. She’s piloting his eyes and senses, but is an observer to the vision again like in his nightmares. 

“So,” Luke reaches out for Ben’s hands. “Tell me again what you said to Lor San about these scars.” Luke unwraps the bandages to reveal deep cuts and scabbing slices of flesh. 

“I was fixing my probe droid.” Rey and Ben lie. A bashfulness colors their cheeks red. It’s not so much a lie in his head, but a half-hidden truth to protect him and his uncle. 

Luke unwraps the bandages and a rush from the contact makes Ben jump. Rey watches his thin hands uncurl with the bandages. The lashes are painfully obvious and purposeful. “This doesn’t look like an accident, Ben.”

Ben snatches his hand back. Rey remembers an old woman on Jakku taking pity on her and pushing salve into a cut above her knee. The contact had been welcomed, but the pity and needy way the older woman had held onto Rey frightened her--making her run and pull back before Plutt intervened. 

“If it’s such a bother, teach me how to heal it.” Bitter words escape Ben and he pushes a thumb into the wound, punishing himself for running his mouth. Luke tilts his head at his usually quiet and obedient nephew. These are the exact reasons he was nervous to take Ben on and it shows.

Luke tuts and holds out his hand expectantly. Ben wrestles with giving in, but bests himself and hands his palm back to Luke. 

“You must open yourself to the Force, breath. Use a happy thought-”

“Think happy thoughts ?!” The flailing frustration chokes at him. 

“Not exactly,” Luke chastises his pupil. He stares at him (despite Rey feeling Luke look at her too) till he gently brushes a little dirt off the boy’s shoulder in an attempt to ease the tension. Ben keeps flinching and jumping, clearly unused to this much affectionate touch. “You use a tether to the light; a memory is tangible, but one day you may not need it.”

“Okay….” Rey and Ben close their eyes. He reaches out, far, past himself, past the spires of darkness and shadow that try to grab at him as he flys past. He reaches the memories he keeps hidden from the pale hands that leech goodness out of sleep. 

Leia Organa comes home from a lengthy night of political games to find her son awake in the early hours of the morning. He waited for her and despite T-2LC and C3PO’s protests he had set the table for them. 

Ben opens his eyes, locking away the memory before it can be pierced by the shadow overcast in him. Luke smiles and holds up Ben’s hand to show him the results. 

It’s healed, only a faint white scar remains. Ben laughs in disbelief and the sound is foreign enough to him and Rey that he almost covers his mouth as a result. 

Rey looks down at her own hands and finds herself back in The Falcon. She experimentally presses her index finger into a corner of the ship, pushing till it bleeds and looking over her shoulder. The tiny cut wells up with blood and Rey follows the same steps Luke taught Ben. 

It’s not hard latching onto the memory of Rose’s birthday. The sensation is like swimming in a fast current and grabbing ahold of a rock as the water hurries by. She opens her eyes and yells with joy; the wound is healed.

“Ben, I-” Rey freezes. No, there is no time for the two of them. “Focus on Finn and your friends,” she thinks. “Don’t let him cloud what you have to protect.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“If I may make an observation, Supreme Leader ?” Hux stands beside Kylo, watching a young technician prepare the incoming transmission from Carise Sindian. 

“No, there will be silence till after our conference.” Kylo stares ahead while Hux sputters and stammers. 

“S-Supreme Leader-” Hux raises his voice in a manner that tells Kylo he’s throwing out self preservation for today. 

“No.” Kylo waves an impatient hand for the tech to patch Sindian through faster. 

Kylo knows what Carise Sindian did to his mother--to him as well. He must master his rage in the face of the most debased remnants of The New Republic. Hux’s fondness of the woman doesn’t help the ruminating loathing in the air. 

Kylo had cleared his whole schedule of engineering reports, and vital information from BN-2135, she was beginning to explain how early stormtroopers are introduced to the ‘heroes’ of The First Order--Captain Phasma and Brendol Hux being among them.  
The level of incompetence from Hux was thrilling to him. Martyrs and figure heads could be manufactured and it was the glue holding the operation together; what was not thrilling was BN-2135’s somewhat alarming tendencies. Kylo had refurbished a combat sparring droid for her, humanoid in nature and good for hand to hand fighting reflexes. 

The girl in her frustration with the poor creature had grabbed it’s wrist like a dance partner, extended her leg to the droid’s hip, and kicked backwards to successfully rip its arm off. Her yells intermixed with the droids wails as it stumbled and crawled away.

She did this with three more droids of similar ilk, taking their arms as prizes. When she had turned to Kylo--her helmet still on and obscuring her smiling face--his stomach had churned and unbidden memories of the many droids who raised him came to mind. Memories of Skywalker’s R2 unit assaulted him while BN-2135 searched his eyes for praise. 

He had weakly sat down, C3PO and T-2LC cracking their way through the walls of his thoughts. BN-2135 had rushed over to him, fearing that he was going to faint, and for that he dismissed her from the training block. Kylo couldn’t have her see him holding his head in his hands while banishing the past.

He wonders what part of Hux’s simulations--simulations of the barbaric Jedi--taught his stormtrooper that. He wills himself not to stare at Hux, or try to poke at his mind; the man has trained himself to know the dangers of The Force with Snoke and Kylo. 

When Sindian’s blue holo projection appears, she smiles her rehearsed candor and Hux does as well. Kylo remains impassive. The tech knows what's good for her and salutes before hurriedly exiting the room. 

“Supreme Leader, my graces to you.” Sindian says. When he stands in front of dignitaries and is forced to ‘play’ nice he itches for the freedom his mask once provided. 

“Lady Sindian, we feared your radio silence would be permanent after our efforts to put sanctions upon the Guavian Death Gangs.” Hux interjects and Kylo fails to keep his eyes from rolling. They act as if his efforts to keep the galaxy safe from ruffians were a bureaucratic nuisance and not the right thing to do. 

The Resistance, The Death Gangs, The Hutts; they are one in the same to him. 

“General, my allegiance is to the First Order. I just hope that after The Resistance is dismantled we can work out some of the confusion over our allies.” Sindian tiptoes around the truth. They aren’t dismantling the Resistance; they are obliterating it. The death gangs are not their allies; they are scum. 

The woman’s intel on The Resistance checks through, but she doesn’t know that if the rebels discovered her past actions against General Organa that Kylo wouldn’t lift a finger to save her.

“Indeed,” Hux responds to the woman’s flattery and awaits what morsels she brings them. 

“The Resistance’s strong hold remains on Ryloth, but they intend to move after a coordinated attempt to mine gems from the southern furthest Vos Moon.” 

Kylo prods at the mood in the air. Hux shifts to accommodate the new information in the same manner as Kylo. Ryloth is a core world planet heavily entrenched in anti-imperial values, but the New Republic’s strategy of indifference didn’t help. 

“I suggest we not attack Ryloth outright,” Sindian says, and both Kylo and Hux are taken by her assertion. The woman never made suggestions, only gave information and praises of her own allegiance. “The Resistance is unaware that Visigoth is running out of funds. This expedition was created to seperate themselves on the pretense that their relationship is fraying. Visigoth is counting on this as much as they are.”

“That old senator is still alive ?” Hux teases, and Kylo resists the urge to vomit. He couldn’t have dreamed that the husk of waste that compromises Hux could tease. Sindian and Hux have the repertoire for drinking familiars.

“He is, and he expects to gain from their assets now that he’s funneling the last of his resources into the project. Intel states that the Jedi girl will be taking part in the extraction. A humiliation of the Resistance and the destruction of their most notable figures could change it all.” Sindian has been planning her pitch for sometime. It’s too succinct, she kept it hidden from them. 

Kylo reasons the shadowy exchange is what causes his heart to pick up pace. “And the reason you failed to tell us when you initially discovered their plan ?” He wants the Resistance destroyed, but this sounds all too perfect an opportunity for Sindian to ladder climb. 

“Supreme Leader, I wanted to confirm before I brought this to you.” She moves to the side and the projection now showcases various images. Some involve the traitor, one involves a schematics plan of the droids they used to mine the gems, and the third makes Kylo ill. It’s Rey and the other girl--the commander woman-- sitting together with explosives in a frozen frame that would make Kylo think this is not a time of war, but a time for leisure. Rey’s smile is untainted in that space between cu.  
The nagging realization that he will destroy that smile, that in the duration of their silence he is still failing and she thrives, and he will destroy that growth; it makes him face his helplessness in the wake of the light and dark playing with his soul. 

“Excellent, send the date to me personally,” Kylo returns to his costume, his facade as Supreme Leader. “And next time, please don’t be afraid to share, Sindian.” The woman uncomfortably tilts her head in disbelief as Kylo ends the call. 

“Supreme Leader-” Hux reminds Kylo that he still exists. 

“What ?” He wants nothing more than to retire to his room, begin drafting schematics or training.  


“I request that I schedule an increased simulations testing with climates such as the Vos moon.” Kylo is perplexed that Hux actually asked. He reaches for the man’s mind, only sensing the usual frustration and methodical air.  


Kylo nods in agreement, ignoring the tug of The Force lashing out at him in paranoia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Vos Moon Extraction steadily approaches as I try to keep a steady writing pace ! Thank you all for the comments and keeping up with this project.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer chapter since I didn't want to put off this part of the story any more.
> 
> Trigger warnings: descriptions of death and younger people dying.

The mess hall makes Rey anxious for a number of reasons. There is only one entrance and exit (excluding the windows), the linoleum floors reflect a distorted silhouette of her, and there are always thralls of people despite The Resistance’s once smaller numbers. 

“For you, for you, and for you.” Poe Dameron slides a trio of small glasses to Finn, Rose, and Rey. Poe rolls his shoulders and pours his own glass of brandy. He's been breathing down their necks for the last week, cracking jokes and teasing everyone. Poe Dameron’s role of General falls off after a few glasses of the fiery liquid brandy. 

“I think we should drink after Vos.” Rose says.

Poe downs the small glass and goes to pour another “We’ll totally be drinking after Vos.” 

“I'm going to agree with Rose on this one.” Rey can't keep up with the typical x-wing pilot regiment of drowning away your sorrows. 

Rose pours her drink back into the bottle whence it came. She looks around at the mass crowd of people, and Rey realizes they’d both prefer to be behind a set of pipes. Rey takes note of Rose’s inability to waste or make a mess for someone else to clean up.  
Rey tries taking a sip of her own drink and decides against it, putting the glass back down on the table so she can swish it aimlessly. 

“I’m going to bed,” Rose says and pecks the cheek of a zoned out Finn, who only awakens from his contemplation after the grazing affection to his face. 

“Night, grumpy pants.” Poe downs another glass, leaning back in his chair. They all knew that Leia had loved him like a mother loves a son, and that on the surface he was Han Solo, except Rey’s own kinship to him was tied to the role he played. She could vaguely see the illusion of a General in him. What worried her was what was underneath that identity. Underneath Finn and Rose’s commandership were two genuine people, behind Kylo Ren was Ben Solo, and behind Poe was an enigma that Rey could only label as ‘friend’. 

“He’s stressed out,” Finn says matter of factly when Poe gets up to mingle with some other pilots. “He does this when he feels out of his depth.” Finn points to the drink, “I think they use this to get scuffings off their x-wings.”

“Yeah, I know.” Rey looks around the room at every Resistance pilot and worker. She’s been with them for almost a year and a half and they haven’t magically transformed into family. Leia, Finn, Rose, and Poe may be as far as she can go. 

Poe drags everyone in with his presence. They go to him when they want to let him wash away the worries of tomorrow. It’s Finn they’ll go to on the field, he’ll remind them of what they’re fighting for. 

Finn hasn’t touched his brandy and has gone to holding the cheek where Rose kissed him. Boisterous laughter fills the room and Rey considers her friend’s confusing new experiences in relation to her own.

“She loves you.” Rey says and Finn looks up in mild wonder; at this point he’s become accustomed to Rey’s candor and declarations. There is no space for anything but her stubbornness and she knows it. Finn shrugs, trying to distract from his own discomfort. They’re lucky that the entirety of the mess hall is engrossed in the story Poe is telling. 

“I mean,” Finn pauses and swirls his untouched glass copying Rey. “Yeah, she’s cool. I’m cool. You’re cool.” 

“You don’t have to be ashamed.” Rey assures him, feeling mildly guilty over bringing up the topic right before the mission. “I’m not really the one to even be talking about it.” She wishes to share with Finn a scrap of what she’s going through. But, to drag him down with the weight of a secret--or with the pressures of a Jedi--it’s unfair to him. Finn is already on a path lined with issues that Rey herself cannot fathom.

“I’m not ashamed; I’m just learning all of this as I go along.” For the first time Rey believes he might vent to her. Finn takes a small sip of the liquor. “I used to wake up and everyday was set for me. I could fall into the routine of The First Order, like I was sleepwalking, and when something out of the ordinary happened I recited a protocol and then adapted all on what they told me." 

Finn stops his story when he thinks someone’s listening, and then continues after the suspicion passes. “We saw holos occasionally, we had history classes...But never real debriefings, I don’t know--like nothing else besides moving up in the chain of command and no end to the war ever. I never thought this would be me.I couldn’t even believe Phasma when she’d get at me with her craziness.”

Finn had discussed his time as a stormtrooper once. The story of his battle with Captain Phasma had spread as quickly as her ‘fight’ with Snoke. 

When he admitted to her on Takodonna that he wasn’t with The Resistance she couldn’t have cared less, he had shown to Rey that he was a kind man and his desire to survive was familiar to her in a way that had made her heart shatter when he left, and rejoice when he returned. 

“You’re never going back to them,” Rey grabs his hand. “When we win, you’ll never have to think about another stormtrooper again. What happened can't be changed, instead we’re building a future.” Rey remembers this, uses the thought of tomorrow to ease the burden of today. 

“That’s it,” he pulls his palm out of her’s. Rey is shocked, for the first time it’s him ducking away from her affection. She reasons that this isn’t her fault. Rey has to restrain from asking him what she did wrong. “I don’t think I want to forget them. What if-”

“If ?” Rey can predict where Finn will lead her with this conversation. She plays along, though, wanting him to reach the conclusion before she does. “I don’t know what you mean.” She knows exactly what he means. She’s been thinking of Ben Solo for a year and a half now, praying that she is not the only one with this crazy hope that no one else understands. 

Finn downs his glass in one sitting and shakily stands, almost falling while he does so. “I have to go talk to Rose. Rey, thank you.” He speeds off, and Rey can’t be angry at him. She’s done the same to him and Rose, and she has to remind herself of this as the let down of him leaving settles in. 

When there’s no one to fill the space of her loneliness she thinks of Ben. She suspects he’ll be there tomorrow, hopefully safe and away from an attack. His starfighter is infamous amongst their ranks and his command cruiser strikes fear into their younger new recruits.  
Rey envisions Ben pecking her on the cheek like Rose did for Finn, but the image doesn’t fit. It would have to be the reverse--Rey kissing him and the hesitant smile that will appear on his face. 

“Hey !” Poe points a finger at Rey and everyone turns to stare. “To our Jedi !” He’s on his fifth drink and he rouses Rey from her thoughts.  
She could be callous. Tell them all off and brag that every X-Wing they have was because she endured humiliation at the hands of Visigoth. She doesn't and she won't. The pilots are smiling, drunken, irresponsible despite tomorrow just hours away. 

“Yeah…..” Rey takes a sip of the brandy, the drink burns at her throat and the whole mess hall laughs as she furiously spits it out. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The med droid scans over BN-2135’s vital’s at a pace too slow for productivity. She jumps at every poke and is unable to keep up her stoic appearance without the mask. The soldier had the audacity to come to their meeting disheveled and post brawl. They could not work while she rubbed at her arms and limped alongside him. Vos came tomorrow and Kylo was pressed for time. He has her sitting in the training block with a droid; she had mentally begged him not to send her away, eyeing him without her mask. Of course a memory of a young Rey with a skinned knee and a cruel junk boss mocking her came to mind, and he allowed the stormtrooper to stay. 

“I still am at a loss for why you were unable to get this settled yourself.” Ben Solo had droids perform an array of tasks on him after he’d fall into harm. Leia Organa had more pressing matters than her son’s bruises and wounds, so as a result he learned to manage on his own. Besides, he had always felt such guilt at seeing her flinch and ‘tsk’ over every mark. 

“I could not be late, Supreme Leader.” She shoves the droid away as it comes at her with another photo-receptor. The droid turns to Kylo and if it had a face it might look to him with exasperation. He shares the droid’s feelings, seeing BN-2135’s face is making him claustrophobic in his own training block; she looks too pathetic, not like a person who tears apart his droids, or coyly tells him about a communications sub-adult who drinks corellian scotch from the officer’s mess. 

“You once told me there was no in-fighting amongst your ranks. Another poor lie.” He waves for the droid to bring him the information it gathered despite the difficult temperament of the girl.

“This was apart of our sparring exercise, Supreme Leader. Fighting outside of a simulation creates dissent.”

Kylo scoffs.

“So many excuses, BN-2135.” Kylo thumbs through a report detailing a number of bruises and other miscellaneous defects. His nose scrunches when he reads something he could not have expected. “You’re malnourished ? How ?” Unbidden visions of a small girl with three hair buns and an empty stomach press behind his eyelids. Kylo’s impatience mixes with a pain in his chest.  
He’s been walking through endless dreams searching for Rey as he flees from Snoke. She’s nowhere but in the fuzzy holo-photo taken by Sindian. She's everywhere in his thoughts. 

BN-2135 is unable to school her expression, confusion evident. She reaches for her scar. Kylo masks his own emotions too, hoping BN-2135 fails to notice his lapse. 

Five months of him researching the workings of the stormtroopers have resulted in him realizing none of them could be interrogators without their helmets; the child’s face projects louder than her thoughts and feelings. 

“I miss my second meal hour when I come here,” she says plainly. 

“No, food segments are alloted strictly; that’s impossible.” He knows because his food was regimented to an exact calorie and time intake, it still is. He commands her to spy and research only six times a week, he reasons she can't be missing that much food. Is The First Order running out of resources ? Hux must be deceiving him again. 

“Things are not the same without Captain Phasma.” BN-2135 mutters.  
The chome queen’s propaganda posters kept the sentiment of the past alive, but they failed in numerous areas that Hux was neglecting.  
The stormtrooper program was the man’s jewel, and despite this fact, it was clear Phasma had been more powerful than Kylo expected. Even BN-2135, who ranked lowly in the vast hierarchy, could sense the hole left behind. Kylo represses every thought that reminds him BN-2135 may not have lived this long, if not for the lack of leadership and shrinking stormtrooper numbers. 

“I’m getting you a protein pack,” He angrily summons another droid to bring her food. “You’re putting yourself in danger if you go on like this.” The comment passes right through her and makes no effect. “You’ll endanger others in your squad if you lag behind.” There were three motivators in the stormtrooper’s life: her squad, fear, and Captain Phasma. 

When the droid arrives it brings two packets of rations. BN-2135 refuses to take it. 

“What is the issue?” Kylo doesn't ask ‘what is the issue now ?’ 

“Eating off schedule is not allowed.” The droid extends the packet to her and she remains eerily still. It's curious when this happens, her training activating. Walls that had once made getting information from her impossible began to erode after she started combat training under Kylo’s watch. 

He could order her. Kylo has done that before. If she had her mask on he would have less hesitation, but without it he's made to see a blank expression clearly formed by four reconditioning sessions.  
It's like she's there, but her mind goes outside herself. He discovered this early on and links it to the reasons why The Force almost evades her. It's a curious thing he's pocketed away for later investigation. He still suspects it may just be his own exhaustion clouding his abilities, though. 

“Here,” Kylo takes one of the packets and hands the other to her. It's been a whole day since he's eaten as well. “Pretend this is a field simulation.” He opens the food and unabashedly takes a sliver of a bite.

“You eat rations ?” BN-2135 awakens from her stupor. She returns and he can sense her through The Force again. “Why don't you eat officer food ?” 

“Is that your question for today ?” He’d started limiting her inquiries after she began to encroach upon Phasma’s unfortunate end. 

BN-2135 contemplates for a moment and nods. The ration packet in her hands remains untouched till he begins explaining.

“You serve the First Order, your task lay in what is best for it. Is that true ?” 

“But I asked you the question-” 

“Service is sacrifice. Why then do we eat rations ?” They both have finished their portions. She eats quickly, like it's a job. Kylo suspects BN-2135 thinks he’ll take the food away from her. 

“We eat rations as sacrifice because we are in service ?” 

“That is one way to look at it.” Kylo takes note of how she came to the conclusion on her own. He finds her presence more agreeable when she’s not reciting dialogue.

The food is condensed and bland, a paste meant to provide nutrition and time optimization. It's the same food Rey may have eaten on Jakku. 

“The officers on the deck and bridge eat fruit.” BN-2135 comments. She really does love to complain about them. 

“Yes, but that's because they are unused to battle,” The soldier smirks at his description. “They're soft from the way they live.” 

“I'm not soft.” She says proudly. Kylo rolls his eyes. 

“No, but you are at times clumsy. Retreat is one day going to be your only option.” Fighting till the end was realistic for him, and him alone. The girl’s unwavering suicidal actions, whether she's throwing herself at a droid or her peers, makes her a candidate for canon fodder. 

“Oh….” She reaches for her scar to pick at it.

Kylo begins collecting his materials to leave. “I'm surprised you've lasted this long. It is commendable.”  
The maliciousness of the way she fights is difficult to stomach because of her age, but without fail she sees the whole ship through her eyes. Her loyalty is askew to others, but thus far she has filled the hours of emptiness in his life and is a useful object on the ship. 

“But I defeat all of your droids.” 

Kylo’s hands still while collecting his things. It’s rare that she actively talks back. The scene she caused in the hallway five months ago proved to be a rare occurrence. BN-2135 was one of the few things that kept him focused without Rey’s company, and having the soldier talk back is not part of their work agreement. 

“You’re an awful stormtrooper. What you learn from my sparring droids isn’t meant to make you a hero on the field.” Kylo asserts, reasoning that she’s an asset, nothing more. Just a quaint creature that can be used as a fill in for an apprentice. 

He won’t fill her head with visions of grandeur.

“I’m actually at the top of my class, Supreme Leader.” BN-2135 says in a voice that would make him almost think she was being haughty. 

Kylo grinds his teeth together. If she dies on him then he’ll need to get another stormtrooper. He doesn’t want another stormtrooper. 

“You’re there because I cleared your record. Without me you’d be dead--floating amongst space debri.” Ensuring she remains cautious is all he can do.

“But I-”

“Did I ask for you to speak, soldier ?”

BN-2135 stares ahead at the wall and keeps her index finger to her scar. A cold chill emanates in the room. 

“You’re dismissed for today. We’ll reconvene when I call for you.” Kylo wants to attempt a contact with Rey. The soldier’s company now feels sour.

BN-2135 runs out of the room. She doesn't bow for him and disregards the entire procedure. Kylo calls out to her as she flees, there are rules to adhere to. By the time he looks out the hallway the child had slipped away. 

“Ungrateful brat,” Kylo lets her go; there bigger issues looming on the horizon. He ignores the hint of regret at the way BN-2135 had left, she’d been upset for whatever reason. Her psyche is far beyond him. When he fails to find Rey in the Force is when he realizes he may have made a mistake. 

\-----------------------------------------------

“Here comes the parade !” Poe yells over the comm. Tie fighters roar across the snowy sky.  
Rey runs over everything she and Ben had discussed before the prior five months of controlled silence. As another X-wing crashes into the distant lost snow plains, she assures herself that this isn’t her fault. Her shuttles and speeders are sitting ducks as they collect the droids filled with mined rocks. The three young men in the shuttle with her, John, Delven, and Miko look significantly younger as the lights flicker around them. Another explosion can be heard through the walls. 

“Finn,” Rey yells over the comm channel. The raging storm obscures the windows of the grounded shuttle. Rey sees the AT-ATs Walker’s approaching her vehicles, she hears the tie-fighters, she feels the vibrations of the battle all around them. “I’m going out there so we don’t have to scramble the shuttles. I’ll provide a distraction while we collect as much as we can. Pull out when the main transport when they reach thirty percent. ” 

The loading is slow as each droid hauls metric tons of cargo. If she can destroy some of the ground snowtroopers and protect the soldiers under her care it will be worth it. They’ll lose a large portion of what they came for, but they won’t leave empty handed. 

“Don’t engage directly, just do what you can !” Rose yells over the channel, a string of curses are audible from Poe’s comm and Finn is busy dealing with his own soldiers as they attempt to hack and scramble the tracking on the AT-AT’s. 

She opens the shuttle’s hatch and runs out to a speeder. The wind chills her and the almost defunct lightsaber attached to her belt doesn’t provide much comfort. She brought the yellow kyber crystal as a token to heighten her pockets with hope, like a gaudy good luck charm. If she uses her saber, it will have to be quick and she’ll have to make it count. 

\------------------------------------------------

He keeps the General with him in his flagship. A part of Kylo has always contemplated what pleasure he would derive from putting Hux on the front lines. 

“Tavson maneuver us to a safer altitude and distance. Send commands to the fighters to continue their pursuit of the x-wings.” In prior conflict General Organa remained behind to issue commands, General Dameron does not follow that trend. 

No reports of Rey thus far. He thanks The Force as each detailing of the battle outside does not include her. 

X-wings and Tie Fighters buzz about, since Crait The Resistance has grown stronger, but Kylo sees a sloppiness in their form and organization that Leia Organa would have never allowed.

“Tavson,” Hux speaks up, his shoulders squared and arms behind his back. “Continue air assault and deploy stormtrooper legions BC to BP.”

BC to BP ? That couldn’t include-- No, no, it can’t be. 

“Disregard that command, Tavson.” Kylo says. General Hux feeling stable enough in his position to bark orders sends worry and jealousy spasms through him. 

“I’m sorry, Supreme Leader. The deploy has already been issued.” Tavson can’t bring himself to make eye contact with the smiling General Hux or the red-faced Kylo Ren. 

“Order them back !” Kylo watches out the window as a series of armed ships begin their descent anyway. Kylo pales when he pieces together the severity, and carelessness of what Hux has just done. 

Hux softens his voice to demean. “Supreme Leader, I would recommend not giving conflicting issuements this late in the action-”

“You’ve deployed an entire generation of untrained soldiers !” Kylo spits the accusation out and applies pressure to The General’s throat. Hux’s gasps and claws at the invisible powers wrapped around him. Hux thinks him ignorant enough to let an entire battalion of teen aged cadets die without a thought. Kylo looms over the man, ignoring the frightened eyes in the shuttle. “Did you really think you could hide such a maneuver from me ? I will not stand for this !”

And then the bond flares, just like Crait, The Force is punishing him. She’s here.

They’re running out of stormtroopers and Hux is conveniently going to kill off an entire generation of soldiers--of children-- and Rey is here too. 

Snoke’s throaty laughter drums in Kylo’s thoughts. If Rey does not already hate him now, then she will when she realizes what The First Order has just done.

He drops Hux. “Call them back. Call the deployment back, now. Issue an order to pull back.” The entire core of leadership look at Hux while he collects himself from the floor, like he's supposed to reassure them that this emotionally charged move has a purpose.

Hux, a rabid and vindictive mongrel, one Kylo could demote a thousand times and choke a million more, and yet the people who should be looking to Kylo for guidance look to Hux.  
They would rather follow a ladder climbing sociopath who sends out their soldiers for no reason. 

“Ren, we can’t afford to let The Resistance get off this moon.” Hux rasps.

“I refuse to answer any address that’s not directed to my proper title,” Kylo spots Captain Peavey in the shuttle alongside them. “Captain you are promoted to Admiral while the General relocates his voice, understood ?”

“Y-Yes Supreme Leader.” Peavey nods, perhaps remembering the bygone era of Kylo’s grandfather.  
Kylo feels a momentary victory before looking out the port window right as the Resistance drops a series of bombs on the shuttles of retreating stormtroopers.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey throttles the speeder forward. Maneuvering past rocks, while a trio of stormtroopers give chase on their own speeders, ironically reminds her of Jakku. First Order wreckage does half the work for her as she dips and ducks around the war waste, narrowly missing a collision. Her pursuers are not as lucky. They fall off their speeders with a flurry and cause others to collide with their downed vehicles. 

She feels jubilant in battle. Nothing is real in the snow but the pang of anger turned into victory. She’ll rendezvous with her shuttle and they will run into the night having succeeded. Rey in that second forgets everything but the immediate victory. The future is too far away and the past isn’t real when she takes a shot at a stormtrooper. 

The haze surrounding her is thick nothing can stop it till--

“I will not stand for this !” It’s him--Ben. Ben’s voice is what comes through the fog in her mind.

“Ben ?” Rey whispers, how she had prayed he wouldn’t be here. 

Her speeder lurches and a crack goes off before she is roughly thrown forward into the snow. Rey lands on her shoulder and howls in pain. She grips her arm and lays in the snow rocking herself, trying to sit up. The snow keeps falling and falling, and then, an explosion rocks the ground near by. 

All in that second is ringing and chilled winds and death. Rey opens her eyes to see stormtroopers in the snow. The blacks of their visors and the red fluid dots the white landscape. The Vos moon had been barren, and now it was tainted.

Rey scrambles away from their bodies. Then, as if hypnotized, she turns to the flame and smoke of a wreckage thirty feet away. Like a angry scar amongst the many other ruins and layers of white it calls to her. A beaconing whisper of the Force tugs at the kyber in her pocket. Everything is now quiet. 

“Rey,” a buzzing crackle emits from her comm link, Finn sounds distant. “We need you back now. We’re dropping a payload in your area and we need you on the shuttles.” 

“Finn, there’s something ahead of me,” Rey starts running towards the wreckage of a cruiser, plain and bland. “I’m going to check it out.”

“No, you need to get back to your shuttle-”

“Rey this is an order, get back to the shuttle.” Poe interjects.

She follows the trail of dead to the wreckage. Poe and Finn are yelling at her till she turns off her comm. The interior of the wound is filled with stormtroopers, but they’re so small. They’re so young.  
Rey reaches down to a boy, no more than sixteen, his helmet cracked in the explosion. Her stomach churns as she searches for anything, but the howling wind and weather is the only thing out there.  
The entire shuttle is full of a young squadron, snuffed out right as they hit the snow. The lights flicker around her and eerie darkness maintains that everyone here is dead. 

Except, she senses something. Rey can still feel-

A sensation in The Force yells at her to act. It warns her like a friend yelling out to her. Rey in instinct reaches her hand out to stop the projectile. 

In mid air a blaster bolt hangs. Stuck in Rey’s grasp is a stormtrooper, one she did not see before. How did she not see this-

“You’re under arrest !” The stormtrooper struggles to move, her blaster is pointed mid-fire and she squirms alongside the trap of the Force hold. “Y-You’re under arrest, rebel trash !”  
Rey is overcome by the terror the girl feels. She’s only felt these emotions projected at her once before. To be feared is not thrilling; it’s disgusting and lonely.  
Blood drips from a puncture to the soldier’s side and a deep crack in the helmet shows Rey a glimpse of her eye. 

A powerful protective surge causes Rey to belt her own blaster.

“I’m here to help,” Rey slowly approaches the frozen girl. “See, I don’t even have my blaster drawn.” She holds her hands up. Keeping the soldier frozen takes all of her concentration as beads of sweat cumulate on Rey’s forehead. It’s dark in the shuttle and the light from outside casts a low shadow, but not enough to fully see. 

“Stay away-” 

“I just want to help, I’m coming up to take off your helmet.” Rey pauses. “Is it okay if I take off your helmet ? It looks like it’s hurting you.” The metal is cutting into the soldier’s cheek. 

“No- No- war criminal !” Rey lets the blaster bolt slip. The collision of it to the wall makes her lose focus for an instant and the girl kicks a leg free before Rey can re-center herself. The Force called her here for a reason and this girl’s survival in some fashion must be linked to it. 

The Force loves only giving half the solution to the puzzle.

The soldier struggles and curses as the feared Jedi continues getting closer.  
Rey’s heart clenches; she can guess what rumors may have spread to the stormtroopers. First she lowers and removes the girl’s blaster. Each time Rey makes physical contact the soldier makes desperate whines at the back of her throat. How could Ben allow these children to be sent to their snow barren graves ?

“I can do some healing on this….Just stay calm for me, okay ? Your side is hurt….” The soldier’s lone exposed eye frantically darts around and then squeezes shut when Rey rests her hand on the gorish wound. It’s bloodied and raw, but with some time Rey knows she can mend it. 

Latching to the memory of Finn coming to rescue her on Starkiller is the spark that mends the gaping flesh. A series of communions with The Force alight, and Rey feels a familiar sensation, like an unseen family. The promise in the air applauds her. The girl hid and the girl lived because it was as The Force willed it.  
A tiny seed of light and shadow germinates into a fledgling connection that holds onto Rey with grasping fragility. 

“You have The Force.” Rey gasps and moves her hand back, startled. The wound is only half healed, but the soldier is amazed and takes a deep breath of amazement

“The Force is a lie.” The girl’s denial makes it all the more obvious. The soldier continues looking down at her half healed side in awe. With the calm settling over them, Rey releases the Force grip and the shock makes the child drop into her arms. 

Without a doubt, she’s taking this girl back with her. For the first time Rey is not afraid of the impending mentorship role the Resistance is colluding her into. The soldier holds onto her biceps as they shakily stand. Rey’s own nervous hands unlatch the stormtrooper’s helmet, taking advantage of the girl’s shock. 

“You’re magic ?” The young girl’s scarred lip and excessively cropped hair make Rey all the more ready for them to get off of Vos’s moon and away from the sight of all these dead others. “You’re really magic ?”

“Well, you are too,” Rey shows the girl the yellow kyber crystal. The mind of Rey’s new apprentice is spiralling and it only makes her want to hug the girl tighter. “Did you call to me ?” 

The soldier looks aside, shamed and drawn into the horror surrounding them. “I didn’t call anyone.” 

The girl is lying to herself. “It’s going to be okay, everything is fine now.” The soldier exchanges with Rey a wary, but happy, look as Rey gives her the precious kyber. She had promised to be a vessel for The Force and giving the kyber away is the next step.  
The ground shakes beneath them. Poe and Finn are out there dropping the payload and they’re in line for the next drop. 

Rey for the first time in a year feels accomplished, terrified, but accomplished. Her choice of words must be the right combination to convince the child to leave in tow. “I have a friend--he’s like you,” 

“He has powers ?”

“Oh, uh….He doesn’t have The Force, but he was a stormtrooper. Just like you.”  
The excitement is palpable and helps Rey keep her voice level while sounds of blaster-fire echo outside.  
Rey won’t ever have to be alone, the girl can learn alongside her, and she can reared by herself and Finn. 

The girl’s face morphs into an unreadable expression. “He was a stormtrooper ?”

“Yes,” The shuttle quivers as an explosion lands near by. Rey flexes her sweaty palms and tries to multi-task a strategy on how they’ll escape. 

“And now he’s aligned with The Resistance ?”

“His name is Finn, you’ll like him I promise, he defeated the captain. He’ll be able to help you out too.” The stories of Finn fighting Kylo Ren and Captain Phasma of the stormtroopers was a typical strategy of recruitment. The people loved the romanticism of Rose’s emblem ring and Finn’s heroism, Rey’s murder of the Supreme Leader felt less glamourous. She knew it was a lie, whereas Finn and Rose’s heroics were real. 

“The captain ?” her shoulders stiffen. 

“Yes,” Rey reiterates, growing jumpy as the bombs outside get closer. “Phasma.”

The soldier girl remains deathly still, like she’s gone into her own world. 

“My name is Rey, you may have heard a little bit about me. It’s mostly not true. I should have said that first-- do you have a name ?” The sounds of conflict outside are getting closer. Rey hates how time is never on her side. 

The girl remains stiff, but is now continually looking down at the dead surrounding them. 

“I know this is a lot,” Rey’s comm angrily buzzes in her pocket. “We can talk about it when return to the base. Finn told me of what the captain does to you, I promise you’ll be away from that soon.” Rey blocks out the horror of what’s around them, and focuses only on the girl.

Now the child’s expression is familiar. Rey recognizes the same eyes that Ben had after he murdered Snoke. 

“You killed Leader Snoke,” The child glares, harmless, but whispering to herself. “I see this game.”

Rey puts her hand to her lightsaber, unsure if the child knows of her own abilities. “Hey, hey it’s okay. Just stay with me for a bit.” Rey reaches out to her, they both flinch when the girl’s foot connects with the body of one of her comrades. 

“You killed her,” The stormtrooper surveys the dead around them, as if just waking up to realize where they are. “There was nothing left to bury--her armor was in a million piece ! W-We cleaned her up off the floor like garbage !” The soldier still has the kyber in her hand and is moving further and further away from the light outside, and into the darkness of the shuttle. She’s no longer whispering or distant, her voice is enraged. 

“Soldier, please--” Rey tries to move closer Who is she talking about ? Accusations are being thrown at her; they mean everything to the soldier and nothing to Rey. The shift in emotion is so drastic that Rey is unable to understand what she said wrong.

“I know what I have to do.” The child clutches onto the kyber and takes a step further backwards. Rey begs The Force to help her pull the child over, and it instead ignores her commands.  
.  
“Sweetie, please come with me. The Resistance bombers are dropping the load; you won’t survive out there.” Rey blocks the exit, letting The Force guide her has been life changing and in the same breadth she can’t let go. To lose this girl to the wastes of war is wrong. “Please, just let me help you.”

The child looks around at her fallen comrades again. Liquid laces her eyes and cheeks, and before she disappears she touches her scar. The air where the girl stood is empty and has Rey sputtering in disbelief. 

Rey has seen numerous wonders in her life time, and even that is unable to prepare her for the absence of the stormtrooper. Great rips appear in her focus on the Force and she whips around to see the girl is outside and running into the snow. 

“Stop !” Rey yells. “Wait--” For all her power all she seems able to do is yell and beg. Rey runs out into the snow and searches, but finds no one alive. 

Her comm-link comes to life with Finn over the line, “Rey, we’re almost there for you. Hang on-”

“Stop the payload ! There’s a stormtrooper girl who we need to get.” Rey keeps scanning

She’s met with silence before a cautious, “What ?” from Rose comes over the call. 

“No,” Poe says over the line. “We’re focusing now on protecting the last shuttles, that’s an order.”

“Wait,” They were re-treating a second ago. “What about the payload ?”

“We recalled the last bombs.” Poe sounds smug. “The First Order retreated.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the continued support and reviews.

_“There was nothing left to bury. There was nothing left to bury. There was nothing left to bury.”_

Rey takes a brush and scrubs into the floor of her new room. The Resistance having fled off Ryloth, and Rey unable to flee from the cold snow prickling at her skin. They’re nowhere near the Vos Moon, and it still clings to her. The thick red on white. Crait and Starkiller mixed into one.

And Poe Dameron had the nerve to tell them there’d been a substantial victory.

If she can carve out of this room sentimentality, she will. Rey turned a downed AT-AT into a haven, this hole in a barracks wall should be no different.  
It’s not even a home. It feels exactly as it should--like a punishment. They were placing her closer to them, to assure the doubters that she was still an asset and not a loose canon set to meltdown. The heat of the base’s skepticism burned at this proximity, forcing her to think about Rose’s warning.

She’d gone on her own to save them, and instead of groveling on the return she had stood her ground, a trait that they all seemed to appreciate when it served their interests.

_“The Force is a lie.”_

The First Order had sent young ones into the fray, and no one found that terrible--instead they were complacent. Rey felt like she was reaching with weak fingers to reach her friends from miles away.

Rey had petitioned to Poe, told him that The First Order would use this against them. It wouldn’t be hard to frame a story with the Resistance as the villains. Her concerns came second.

Everyone is celebrating, ignoring that three shuttles of younger troops could have been brought to The Resistance as The First Order retreated. Bombed out of panic; both sides not caring. It was becoming abundantly clear what Rey's position in some of their eyes was. Worse, her burden of the Force pulling Finn and Rose down with her.

“He could have court martialed you for the stunt you pulled. Him making you live full time on base is his way of making sure you’re okay.” Finn had slowly explained reasoning through Poe’s actions, he’d approved of this change too, but in a concern more geared about her than for her.  
Rey was alone and surrounded. She couldn’t even tell them that she had lost the kyber crystal to the girl, because she had never shared that she had found it in the first place. Lies piling up on more lies.

“Do you believe me ?” Rey’d asked Finn directly. No hiding. If anyone should have sided with her about the child it should have been him--her first friend and her first family.  
She scrubs at the floor till her hands feel numb as she thinks about their argument, heated whispers that should never have come in between their friendship.

In the heat of the disagreement she couldn’t tell if Finn had pitied or feared her. “Rey, you have a power I can never understand, or ever have,”

“Everyone has The Force,” Leia had told them that once, a lifetime ago and they’d chosen to forget.

Finn had looked suddenly saddened, “Some people....” Finn hadn’t finished his sentence. Hesitation tinted his words with what he wouldn’t admit. “You remind people of-”

“Of ?”

“Your froze a blaster bolt.”

“Knowing that saved my life, and it can help me save yours one day,”

Rey scrubs the floor harder thinking about Finn’s clouded eyes, she pushes till her palms blister.

“Rey you killed Snoke.” Finn did not have The Force as she did, but no amount of cosmic power could compare to what that phrase did to her.

Rey had stumbled away from him. His accusation feeling like a slap.  
Luke Skywalker comparing her to Ben came back in a tidal wave of repressed disappointment, and now this too.

She’d nodded at Finn, pretending to understand. She chose to walk through the next few days on cautious autopilot, putting on her best show of content for him. He’s come out of one of the most successful military campaigns in his career and at this moment her anger is not important. Hearing the explosions in her sleep is normal, and everyone on the base feels the same. Finn and Rose must feel the same.

She’s terrified of how Finn and Rose appear engrossed in trudging forward. Rey can’t be left behind.

Had she been wrong to so blindly trust The Force ? Rey had let herself be guided, hoping that she could be brave enough to plunge into the fate ahead without doubt or fear. Now, she had failed again. Ben Solo had not come back with her and the stormtrooper had run, choosing to hide in the instead of contemplate a life with Rey. How could The Resistance expect her to find and recruit people if a stormtrooper near death wouldn’t take her offer ?

Cleaning and toiling couldn’t protect her with denial, so Rey lays on the floor waiting for someone to eventually fetch her for a meeting she’ll pretend to understand.

“Sulking ?” Luke Skywalker materializes at the worst time.

“Yeah,” Rey admits. Not feeling the energy to play along with the old man’s games. “You make more jokes now that you’re dead.”

Luke ignores her, “The girl ran from you because you thought her choice was easy.” He looks around the room, powerful and knowing of the answer to all of this.

Rey feels a deep shame that Luke Skywalker and the entirety of The Force watched he failure unfold. “Have you been spying on Ben too ?”

“Yes,” Luke sighs, and Rey finds some comfort in someone watching over Ben with an intent other than to manipulate and taint. “I have not revealed myself, and he’s been engrossed enough in you and warding off Snoke, that he has not realized the powers that lay right under his command.”

“So no one knows about the girl ?” They’ll never have the power to resurrect the young-ones lost, but at least Luke was implying the girl survived. “How did she use The Force like that ? She’s never been trained.”

Luke chuckles, “That’s ironic coming from you.”

Rey feels her anger sharpen, “Has Ben been tampering with her mind ?”

“That’s a path with an answer you’ll have to locate on your own,” Luke instantly knows where Rey is hiding the sacred texts. He eyes it and points expectantly.

“Why are there no straightforward answers ?"

“The Force won’t allow it,” Luke appears almost sympathetic. “This is in your hands now. You and Ben’s.”

“The Force is a cheeky wrench.” Rey grumbles.

“Yeah, it can be.” Luke says. He has faith that the world will right itself. As he became one with The Force, he let go of the weights hindering him. He found redemption, and Rey feels a twinge of envy because of that.

Rey lifts a tile in the floor and begins furiously reviewing the sacred texts. She still doesn’t know who she’s hiding them from. Luke sits on her cot and waits.

She’d already been decoding and reviewing the cypher for days in an attempt to uncover what the stormtrooper had done out there. The raw show of power made Rey twitch. The haunting way the girl had excluded herself from the fabric of reality was a weapon that could not fall into the hands of The First Order.

“What if Ben hurts the girl ?” Rey pauses as her hand hovers over the books. Rey had seen slaves broken on Jakku. They bore lashes and scars that either dulled their will into sadness or sharpened them to rage. Ben had his own, and she knows he’s capable of sharing them.

“He won’t,” Luke shakes his head. Rey’s skeptical look isn’t missed. “If we were still on Ach-To I would have a different opinion, but the sway of his current in the Force is pulling him in a different direction.”

“Thank you, Luke.” Rey had avoided Ben for five months. Making their bond her gilded cage could not happen again.

Luke leaves shortly after as Rey reads into the night. No one comes to retrieve her for their meetings or plans and Rey doesn’t try to go out.

The orb seemed dejected that there is no yellow kyber crystal staying with it, and that now it’s only companion was Anakin’s saber.  
Igniting the blade in her room proved that the sputtering and cackling of the arc made it a sister to Ben’s saber. Unstable and furious. It’s functioning as best it can under duress and brokenness.

The pages of the book begin to blur as Rey yawns.

Rey finds traces of words that could be her answer. Certain terms and lingo melts together the light and dark, making it unclear what she’s even translating. There are select phrases that latch onto her as she reads: void, cloak, and then finally a description that feels correct--’ebb of shade’

Rey had insisted they go back for the girl, that the First Order wouldn’t waste resources on her. Her request had been overridden, the Resistance could not risk returning to the site and having The First Order track them again. Luke had at least confirmed she lived.

Rey lays on her cot, falling into the loop of every mistake made in the last five month. She rolls around on the bed,groaning and trying to find any amount of comfort.

Ben materializes when Rey’s last thought circles to him. She’ll never escape The Skywalker family, their apparitions and memory is everlasting.

He must be lying on his own bed because his legs are curled up at his side, like he’s trying to make himself small. He jumps in shock as they both lay together, inches apart.

“Ben ?” Rey places her hand on his shoulder, but draws back when he flinches and curls in on himself further.

Rey should chew him out for what happened on Vos. He was there and the responsibility of those children rests on his shoulders, and still any of her scorn is pale compared to the internal rage he’s put upon himself. There’s more to the story, a lesson that keeps applying to Rey’s own life.

He opens his mouth to speak and then closes it. He’s been rehearsing whatever he was going to say, and now has cold feet. Rey isn’t sure what she would say to him now either. She could spill all of her fears to him, tell him about the girl, cry to him--but if she does then she’s no better than whomever snitched to Sindian and Visigoth.

“I’m sorry,” Ben reaches out, but does not touch. He may have felt her conflict.

His hand lingers close to her side as he watches tears begin to grow in her eyes. Kylo Ren a year and a half ago would have never lowered himself to apologizing. Ben Solo is no longer able to wear that identity with her.  
Rey realizes all of these elements of him and senses that she can no longer wear her own mask in his presence, no matter how long she keeps the bond closed.

“I need to tell you something,” Rey struggles to accept that by telling Ben of the child she could doom them all, but who else could understand and keep hold of the girl while Rey is not present ? The bitter irony is that no one else is suited to care for the soldier.

He nods, beginning to pull his hand back till Rey desperately clasps onto him. She buries her face in his chest, taking whatever she wants. He stays stiff and then relaxes, making the familiar motion of rubbing circles in her back.  
For all her anger and all her despair, Rey can’t focus it on him right now. He gives her validation when no one else will, holds her. They are still two monsters alone in the universe, masquerading as heroes hoping that the galaxy won’t throw them away again.

Ben rests his head atop hers. He’s unsure what he is allowed so he’s moving slowly. The sensations of affection overwhelming them both to the point where they can run from the deaths and pain they felt. When she had approached him on Ach-To he never interrupted her story of the cave. He was diligent, listened, and understood.

“I had to keep the bond closed,” Rey had strived to do everything in her power to protect the mission and the lives of others, but tragedy followed anyway. “I had to do it to keep Vos a secret.”  
Ben tenses when he hears this, but does not comment. Rey is unable to see his face, she keeps herself pressed against him needing to take their connection in as she prepares to tell him of what she discovered.

“Yet, you still fail to see why I needed to stay,” he holds onto her like she’s a life raft. “To leave The First Order in the hands of someone else, it would be wrong. I cannot run from this responsibility. ”

She sees his perspective, his deep need for order and stability when his life has had so little of that, and inside she feels him raging against his denials. He didn’t send the soldiers to their death, but he feels rightly responsible--mortified and drowning in the same depth as Rey.

“We’re what nobody wants or needs, aren’t we ?”

Ben mumbles agreement into her hair.

“Ben,” Rey feels brave enough to tell him. Luke kept pushing her to commit to working together to fulfill the vision of the future. “I found a child with the Force.”

“How ?” He’s shaking.

“I let The Force guide me, I didn’t try to push it. It lead the way and I listened-”

A knock interupts her and they both freeze. Ben clings to her, not wanting to let go of their connection. His neediness matches hers to a degree that pains them both simultaneously with empathy.

“Find me again,” Rey pulls away and straightens herself. “As soon as you can, find me !” The knocking becomes more persistent and angry.

“I’ve searched for you before !” Ben begins to move after her, still not wanting to let go. “It is you who has the power in the bond !”

Rey disconnects abruptly before Ben can convince her to let him stay and eavesdrop.

 _“He could help you fake your way through this.”_ Rey doesn’t need help. She’s been faking her way through it all her entire life.

 

\----------------------------

She’d held him. Rey had held onto him, let him cry, and let him cry with her. Kylo tries to consolidate the pure joy mingling with sorrow over being seperated from her for five months. How had he survived the year of silence before ?

Then she had trusted him. She had enough faith in the Jedi Killer to tell him that she had found a pupil. He’s queasy thinking about the Resistance prying and testing at the secrets of The Force, a sacreligious action, on both Rey and someone else.

He remembers that he’s never told Rey of BN-2135. There was no point. Now more so than before; his pet project is dead.

Kylo approaches the bridge of The Finalizer with strides fueled by an hour of rest. He holds his stance as firm and steadfast, and stands amongst the hordes of officers he’s isolated himself from. The rest Rey gave him is what he’ll use to survive.

Peavey is there, and a few others he could fleetingly remember from when BN-2135 would eavesdrop for him. But there will be no more of that--ever. He’d gone through the list of stormtroopers slain, except the data banks don’t say ‘killed’ or ‘deceased’, instead they claim ‘out of service’. Like the child could be re-tailored and spit out again. Clicking on the designations leads to each of their profiles, students with various quirks, and the knowledge that all of it will be stored away in an archive to be forgotten.

He’d never cared about stormtroopers while under Snoke. They were drones to him, their replaceability a constant. The idea of being so easily cast aside frightened Kylo then, and it still does.  
He centers himself with the image of Rey holding onto him like he was a life raft, as if he could be anything or do anything that wasn’t tied to destruction.

“I will just get another,” Kylo assures himself. “I will find another of soldier. A stormtrooper with less flaws. One who is stronger. Not young and frail like she was.”

Snoke never failed to remind Kylo that he was one of many apprentices, but Kylo was still different. Kylo was special.

He had told himself through every beating and berating that he would not be another smear of blood in a red room. Apprentices come and go like rain.

Now Rey has an apprentice. She will surely cherish it unlike how she was treated with his uncle.

Kylo had called his soldier’s comm. Over and over again till he’d ended up smashing his own.  
The clawing fear and rage came for him, and so he did what Ben Solo had always done: throw himself into a task.

“Where is Hux ?” Kylo demands to the nearest officer. “I have imminent orders to be carried out.”

“He is in the middle of analyzing the recovered wreckage and data from Vos-” Kylo shoves the officer out of his way. The rehearsed speeches lobbed at him feel too much like BN-2135.

“Peavey,” Kylo beckons to the recently promoted Admiral. BN-2135 is--was-- right, he is one of the oldest on the ship. “Give orders to the Fulminatrix II to seize and restrict any gemstone deals in the Perlemian Trade Route.”

Kylo had let The Resistance get away again, a mistake he could feel all around the ship. The weight of his actions further heighten the cold absence of Rey. They have their precious ore, but they won’t be able to do a thing with them if their barred from selling and making arms deals.  
Kylo is the master of his own fate the path he is on is difficult, but it is his choice.  
Rey’s people cannot be forgiven for what they’ve done, just as he will not forgive himself till he stops them.

“Supreme Leader, I have no jurisdiction over those divisions…”

“And who does ?” Kylo knows the answer and he’s livid.

“General Hux,” Peavey saves himself by knowing the direction to point Kylo in.


	13. Chapter 13

First Order personnel scramble to salute Kylo when he enters the unfamiliar hangar.

 

Each worker looks to the other with wide eyes and bit lips, they may have been suspicious when the high ranking General Hux chose to grace them with his presence, but Kylo Ren is akin to a fictional figment. Those who work this far below deck can forget they’re even in a war. 

Kylo knows how odd he looks compared to the rest of the crew. His clothes are black, but they are austere in a different era. These technicians spend their days cataloguing snapshots from battles that occurred recently; Kylo Ren looks like a remnant of a time too long ago for them to consider. 

 

The melting snow from Vos’s moon is still covering panels of the First Order’s recovered fleet. Military salvage and junk work is in lower levels so not to disturb the upper social system of The Finalizer. This was how they found The Resistance in The Illenium System; war leaves behind garbage with a profound story. Kylo thinks of Rey as he looks around the room, taken with how once upon a time her job as a scavenger was not too different from those around him.

 

Snoke had kept Kylo from these places, knowing that his inquisitive apprentice might enjoy the inner workings of the Order. The isolation was another calculated move to keep him reliant and pliable under his master’s touch.

 

If Kylo had actually been an heir then he would have been taught of these things. 

It’s becoming abundantly clear that he was never intended to be anything more than a toy. 

 

_ “Snoke is not here,”  _ Kylo repeats the mantra over internally to combat years of repeating  _ “The Supreme Leader is wise. The Supreme Leader knows me for who I am.” _

 

“Where is General Hux ?” Kylo can’t fall apart now. Not in front of these officers. 

 

A hesitant man approaches. He salutes and swallows his fear before proceeding, “Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, you must be here to review the tape recovered from the wreckage.” The room is chilled, and both Kylo and the man’s breath come out in puffs of condensation. 

 

Kylo shivers, forcing himself to not grab at his arms. Against his will Kylo remembers Leia Organa making off handed jokes about Hoth. She’d hate this facility and would have left it scathing with a sharp joke. 

 

It’s disgustingly familiar that the bravest technician here looks no more than Rey’s age. “Yes, I was directed in search of General Hux.” He partially lies to hide his uncertainty. 

 

The analyst lets out a relieved sigh, “Yes, yes, Supreme Leader the footage recovered of the Jedi and soldier is right this way.”

 

Rey. The man is talking about Rey. Usually when any footage is found of her Kylo is the first to review it. Except the techs here called to Hux before him.

 

None of the young men and women technicians around him could be described as stormtrooper or officer. There are some soldiers sprinkled here and there for appearances, but their stature is small, of the BN-2135 variety. 

 

BN-2135 had always been proud of any menial task she was given in the higher levels of the ship. Kylo remembers her fervent voice as she explained the severity of guarding a hallway to him. Looking around provides context for why she would be so eager to avoid these forgotten pockets. Kylo and Hux’s appearance this far below decks will stir up gossip. 

 

Kylo’s vision spins while the officer leads him to a boxed device sitting on a table. Somewhere in his own ship the camera’s must have data of him carrying Rey, losing his mind on Crait, and his lack of ruthlessness on Vos.

 

_ “There could be footage of Rey and I….” _

 

“Your name ?” Kylo curtly asks, ignoring the tightening in his chest, and the boy looks up, shocked that he’s being directly addressed. Suddenly the young man’s corkscrewed hair, dark complexion, and broken glasses come into focus for Kylo. The humanity pushing through the cracks. He thinks of BN-2135. 

 

“Alder, Supreme Leader,”

 

“No rank ?”

 

Alder either ignores Kylo’s question, or doesn’t hear--too engrossed by the chrome device that holds the data records. Alder’s excitement is electric in the air. It may not have been bravery that had the boy volunteer to assist Kylo; No, the low rank worker wants to see what the holo has to show.

 

“Don’t be too happy, Alder. I’ll be wiping your memory when this is done.” A wave of his hand can erase most of what Alder has seen of Kylo’s incompetence too.

 

“Oh.” Alder shudders from the cold and Kylo’s comment as his hands press a switch opening the operating core. 

 

The young man begins the reel. First there is static from the three dimensional projection. It’s an intro for a clear scene with a macabre display of dead stormtroopers and broken shuttle. The lack of audio makes the footage somehow more unnerving.

Kylo watches in false detachment when Rey enters the line of view. Her defiance is palpable through the blue-holo. He's so taken by her determination and bravery, and hates how he must school his expression while he watches. 

 

Kylo and Alder observe the millisecond it takes for a blaster bolt to be shot and then frozen by Rey. Alder jumps despite the lack of audio. Kylo smiles; Rey never ceases to amaze him. 

 

It’s then Rey and a stormtrooper--Rey and  _ his _ stormtrooper. He strains under the suffocation of fake, calculating aloofness. Rey take off the girl’s helmet and heal the child’s wound. 

Her powers grow tenfold. The rising sun continues high in the sky. Healing and freezing a blaster bolt. With Rey even a pathetic Resistance tag team could one day contend with The First Order. 

The Force is rarely so lazy. Coincidences roping them all together isn't a mistake. A cruel joke against his very existence ? True. Or possibly something far worse. 

 

He is unmoored as he continues watching the scene unfold. Torn between pride in Rey’s plentitude of power--that she herself has discovered and honed-- and BN-2135 who is in the scene to play a part in The Force’s plan. Kylo yearns to cry out to Rey when she hands the girl something. He can't see it, but it holds a significance to Rey that Kylo deduces from how tightly she's clinging to the soldier, and smiling, and full of relief. 

 

_ “I found a child with the Force.”  _

 

Oh please no. “How much more of this is there ?” Alder doesn't take his eyes off the holo. 

 

Kylo turns back right at the moment that has captivated the man. The happy scene between Rey and his apprentice is broken. BN-2135 is shouting something that neither Alder, nor Kylo can hear. They’re only privy to Rey’s pained reaches for the girl to come back to her arms. 

 

The soldier’s face contorts in anger and misery till-- a pause and she vanishes. The girl vanishes, and not because of an issue with the footage. The holo ends with Rey, panicked and running out of the shuttle. 

 

He’d read of things like this, long ago when the information was scant and Luke Skywalker would have him knee deep in a forgotten tomb or temple.

 

Kylo’s unbridled fear and rage explode, “Where is he ?”

 

“General Hux is right now interrogating the stormtrooper-” 

 

“Where !?” Kylo’s heart thunders. His Force telekinesis lets out warning shocks sending items and durasteel rattling.

Alder points down a hall. The entire rest of the crew averts their eyes to the floor.

 

Ideas, strategies, and escape plans drown out reason in him and the overpowering need to regain control. Wherever Snoke and Skywalker exist in death they must be laughing. BN-2135 lives, but for how long till Hux gets what he wants from her.

 

Kylo’s boots clank as he runs, not caring who sees him. 

 

Rey had looked ethereally happy till BN-2135 had vanished. This is no longer about his pet project, because till now that’s all the soldier had been to him, now the soldier is a dangerous moving part in a grand scheme. He has to get to Rey’s apprentice before Hux destroys her.

 

_ “Hypocrite.”  _ He really is. Kylo would have helped Rey find kyber, build a lightsaber, he’d even retreat from the battle for her. He’s a soft coward and a hypocrite. This empire will fall under the weight of sentiment. 

 

It’s not just Rey either, it’s the presence of people around him. Ben’s ability to distance himself from life, an ability cultivated by his former master, is withering.

 

The hallway ends with a room, a one way window showcasing a spartan interrogation block. There sits General Hux, accompanied by two stormtroopers who flank BN-2135. He’s sitting with his data-pad and jotting down information while she sits and fidgets across from him. 

For a second Kylo does not recognize her. BN-2135’s appearance is unhealthy and lanky without her armor. She doesn’t fill the black thermal pants and shirt. Alongside that, her extremely short hair and scar make it seem like she’s a piece of jagged glass, not a small girl. 

 

When he enters the room, the only thing that boosts Kylo’s confidence is Hux’s surprise. He stays near the door, refusing to storm in after Hux. The General blanchs and clears his throat before addressing Kylo. 

 

“Supreme Leader,” The greeting is terse. “I thought you were resting in your quarters…”

 

Kylo’s eyes momentarily look to his soldier sitting at the interrogation table, the storm of emotional confusion and relief thunders around without her making eye contact. Cuffs clank around her wrists and she remains looking down at the table. Has she been in this room since Vos ? 

 

Kylo steels himself; now is not the time to be feeling sorry for her. The soldier has been lying to him for five months. Yet, he still has to make an effort to ignore the dark circles under her eyes. 

 

Kylo readies himself for a screaming match. “A word, Hux. Now, outside.” 

 

Hux stands and BN-2135 momentarily opens her mouth to say something. A glance at the men standing beside her cuts off the action before it occurs. 

 

“What did you wish to discuss ?”

 

“Give me a reason to not murder you.” 

 

Hux’s face contorts. 

 

Finally, Hux finds his voice, “You need me.” 

 

“Do I ?” He does. Snoke was careful in using Hux as a direct puppet, tying the strings of the Order’s chain of command around him as a focal point. But after his disrespect on Vos’s moon, it’s becoming clear that the year between Kylo’s ascension is a year too long for Hux to live. Once he gets ahold of Rey’s Force sensitive he’ll divert his plans to how he’s going to dispose of the weasel. 

 

“If you didn’t then I’d have been dead at Crait.” Hux speaks with calculating defiance, “The Resistance escaped with stockades of dendalite on the Vos moon. Word of your cowardice will reach our allies.You know my face is familiar, and yours was hidden by a mask for years.” 

 

“Not before I execute you for not telling me about the Force sensitive amongst us,” Kylo diverts the issue from himself. If he can talk to BN-2135 alone, then they’ll both be safe. Hux’s agitated frame of mind reveals what Kylo was hoping for; BN-2135 is an enigma to them both. 

 

“You’re sure she’s like you ?” For a second Hux reverts to the relationship they held before Snoke’s death. They weren’t equals, but they vaguely cooperated. A naive Ben Solo had even thought of Hux as a potential ally. Starkiller Base killed that hope before it could grow. 

 

Kylo looks through the window of the interrogation block. The one way glass shows his soldier touching at the scar on her lip, twisting her hands in the tight cuff-binders.  “Why else would the Jedi seek her out ?” 

 

“She’s been unresponsive to our questioning, brought in a rock that the scavenger handed off.” 

 

“It was a rock ?” Rey couldn’t have given the girl Tennel’s orb.

 

Hux produces a kyber crystal from his pocket. Kylo snatches it from him, disgusted at the General’s irreverence. 

 

Hux rolls his eyes, “It took three stormtroopers to rip that from her. We could continue interrogation, or we could get rid of the issue.”

 

Kylo’s stomach drops. When stormtroopers become an issue they are-

“You’d throw away something the Resistance is desperate to get it’s hands on ?” Just like how he’d thrown away all of those soldiers on Vos. “You have no interest in even how the girl disappeared ?”

 

“The balance of my army is more important,” Hux argues, his mind shielding under the flicker of Kylo Ren’s sensing probe. “We’re not even sure how she survived.” He nervously looks back into the room. “If The Resistance wants her then she can no longer serve us as a stormtrooper. Too much of a liability. I can’t even shuffle her into a new cadet division without there being talk.”

 

“How long has she been in here ?” 

 

“Since yesterday,” Hux continues staring through the window, a mix of fascinated and disgusted. “When they peeled open the cockpit of the assault lander she was curled up inside. They called me down here after she stabbed one of the crew trying to lift her out.”

 

“Why did they not bring this to my attention ?” Of course Hux was notified first. “I know you, Hux. The girl being in one piece is a miracle.” Usually Kylo would come to get the information that the other interrogators could not get from brutal force alone.

 

“Maybe if you answered you damn comm for once, Ren-” Kylo raises his hand to choke him. “W-What I mean is that while you’ve made strides to develop your  _ interests  _ abroad, Supreme Leader, you’ve alienated our allies and remained elusive. Did the engineers down here even recognize you ?”

 

Kylo bristles. “I’m sorry I’m not Captain Phasma with my image plastered over every Star System.”

 

“Yes, and you’re not like the Jedi girl or Luke Skywalker. The Resistance props them up like they are the sun. You’ve been Supreme Leader for a year and you stay in the shadows.”

 

Kylo wants to comment that Snoke remained in the shadows. Only Kylo was privy to the details of his master’s old life. The stories of being ostracized, deemed too dark, mocked. They might not even be real. 

He knows that Rey too had lived off of stories to keep herself alive. She’d clutched to Rebellion dreams and islands hopes. Kylo had done the same for so long, but propaganda isn’t a story. It’s debased and he won’t put himself on display like an animal. 

 

He has a suspicion that Rey does whatever she believes is best for others. She goes in front of a holo, or lets herself be recorded in battle, because she thinks she has to. _ “Rey, you sacrifice so much for them.”  _

 

Still, it doesn’t answer why Hux was summoned down here to observe the Force sensitive girl, and it doesn’t explain why Hux conveniently seems to not even know who BN-2135 is. It was the General himself who gave her those data pads when Kylo and BN-2135 were introduced. 

 

“Fine,” Kylo concludes and stares back to BN-2135. His first order of business will be getting three meals into her, and then finding out why she lied to him for so long. 

 

“Fine ?”

 

“I’m taking the defect soldier off your hands,” This will make protecting Rey’s interests easier as well. Kylo would be lying to himself if he also wasn’t fascinated in what he assumes was a flawless use of Force Cloak by BN-2135. It’s the only explanation for how the girl has been hiding her signature from him. “If she has no place as a soldier for you, she will have a place as an apprentice.” 

 

“No,” Hux has the audacity to jab a finger at him.”I won’t have her disrupting this ship.” 

 

“You can’t be this afraid of one child.” Kylo looks at BN-2135, trying to understand what has Hux so frightened. 

 

“If others find out, this could be worse than FN-2187.”

 

“Admit it,” Kylo gloats. “You’re protective of what’s yours.” Kylo knows that Hux’s stormtrooper program was a prize that could rival the General’s coveting of the Supremacy and his love of Starkiller Base.

 

Hux goes red, “It’s not a pet to be coddled.” Hux eyes the girl from the safety off the glass between him and BN-2135.

 

A vengeful knot in Kylo’s gut moves him to leer over Hux, “Do you think Snoke coddled me ?” Hux has never hidden his disdain for The Force--truly Kylo shouldn’t be surprised that Hux saw himself as the lesser brother in their rivalry, with Snoke always praising Kylo, his Force sensitive pupil. 

 

Hux fails to understand that it was Kylo who suffered in the moments of Snoke’s cooing, and praising of every menial technological terror Hux orchestrated. Or, how Hux was consistently the reason Kylo was under Snoke’s wrath. 

 

“Snoke had his many apprentices. I was one of them. It’s better she serve our purposes than be left aside.” 

 

“A Leader of The First Order has no time for a ward.” Hux’s attempts to dissuade him fall flat. “We’re not even sure if the data wasn’t tampered with.”

 

“And if it was, would you place her back into your army ? Would your reconditioning be enough to remold her and not break her beyond repair ?” Kylo understands too much and not enough of Hux. He sees the problem BN-2135 poses; if she’s Force sensitive she causes chaos, and if she’s not then she spreads rumors of the last Jedi freezing blaster bolts and being abnormally kind to the enemy. 

Hux holds his tongue. He’s projecting loathing and doing nothing to mentally hide that he thinks Kylo is being a spoiled brat. “If you wanted a pet you could have requested a BB unit.”

 

“I wonder what Admiral Sloane would think ?” It’s a low blow on Kylo’s part, but it’s the only element of Hux’s past he can stab at. 

 

Hux’s eyes transition to a flash of malice, “Ask BN-2135 about her time on The Absolution. Better yet, ask her her total kill count.” 

 

“I will...When I interrogate her,” Hux moves to follow Kylo back into the room. “Without you. You’ve made no progress with her.”

 

Kylo motions for the Stormtroopers guarding BN-2135 to leave. 

 

“And Hux ?” Kylo calls after him and The General raises an eyebrow. “You’re demoted. I want you and General Peavey to begin the seizure of the Perlemian Trade Route” Hux pales. 

 

“Is that clear Admiral Hux ?”

 

“Yes,” Hux stalls, the veins on his neck stick out. His rage is written all over him. “As you wish, Supreme Leader.”

 

The Stormtroopers do a quick salute, one of them turns to glance at BN-2135, but stops when he recognizes his superiors watching. It’s a curious gesture that Kylo pockets for later investigation, another mystery on top of many more.

 

He dismisses them alongside Hux, who stomps away seething.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

Sindian stands at her doorway, flowers in hand, and wearing a dress too nice to be on the base. Its hem is lined with dried mud. Rey has the nagging urge to help show Sindian to a cleaner facility, Sindian looks like she’s never set foot in their military barracks before. 

 

When Sindian gives her a toothy smile, the feelings of empathy wash away. Every little detail so rehearsed that it strangles any hope of amiable relationships.

Rey wants to slam the door shut when she realizes the woman’s still standing there, expecting something from her, she doesn’t toe the diplomatic line like Finn. The Senator puts her well polished hand on the frame of the door, challenging Rey to close it on her and cause a scene, or the Senator may just be that haughty and doesn’t think Rey is violent enough to crush her hand. 

 

Rey considers what she can get away with saying to Sindian. She wants to offend her so that she’ll leave, and not interfere with higher command, “Finn and Rose are-”

 

“No, honey,” Rey’s nose scrunches. Pet names in the mouth of an enemy are a dull knife to her pride. “I’m here for  _ you. _ ”

 

The hair’s on Rey’s neck stand on end. “I’ve told Visigoth I’m not doing any more tests unless he plans to provide a kriffing Star Destroyer for us.”

 

Sindian’s eyes widen, she’s not comfortable without the formalities and smile Rey puts on when there are others watching. “I- I- wanted to commend you,” Sindian holds out a bouquet of crimson flowers.

 

Rey stands her ground at the door. “For what ?”

 

“Your time and service to us. In a few weeks the anniversary is coming, and X-wing flyboys like their heads in their cockpits.” 

 

Leia, anniversary, the flowers, mourning. Rey connects the dots and the fight drains from her. Her hands hover around the florals that Sindian is pushing at her.

Rey instinctively brushes her fingers against them, the fresh cut smell is enticing. A merchant long ago had stopped at Niima outpost. He’d kept pressed flowers in a book and let a shy Rey trace her finger along them. 

 

“No thank you,” Rey pulls her hand gingerly away. The merchant had tried to grab her water, steal her food. The pressed flowers had been a pretty lie. “I don’t have anything to put them in.”

 

“I should have thought of that,” Sindian keeps smiling at Rey, like she’s hungry.The woman’s teeth are too white. “Maybe soon a vase won’t seem too grand for the war effort.”

 

“There are children starving on Jakku.” When Rey sees Sindian all she can see is a group of Senators too cowardly to come aid till after Leia’s passing. Visigoth had been there while Leia was still alive, but hanging on the periphery. 

These ‘allies’ were vultures who had sprang to the Resistance only after Leia couldn’t defend them. Could no longer defend Rey. 

 

Sindian reeks of an emotion Rey can’t place. The smell of incenserity spoils the freshly cut flowers. 

 

“It can be difficult finding one’s place in it all. I promise I’m not like Visigoth.” Sindian senses Rey’s skepticism. “Visigoth doesn’t hate you, it’s your Force abilities that rubs him off.”

 

“Huh,” Rey hopes Sindian’s can read her sarcasm. 

 

“His entire family was killed by Darth Vader during the war.” It’s the first straightforward statement Sindian’s ever made to Rey.

 

“Oh,” Rey clenches her fists, Leia hadn’t told her that. What Leia did was always for a reason, it had to have been to protect her. 

Finn had said that Rey reminded people of something they feared. She’d assumed he’d meant Kylo Ren. 

 

_ “Was this your life, Ben Solo ? Did they look at you and declare you a monster even as you tried to help them ? ” _

 

Rey’s throat gets tight. If Sindian knows she’s been panicking, then the whole base may already know. Her hatred for Visigoth now takes on a complex shape, and once again her pain doesn’t mirror anyone’s but Ben’s. 

 

“Rey,” Sindian looks over Rey’s shoulder, into the room. She’s expecting to be invited in. When Rey doesn’t move, she sighs and pulls an envelope out of the bouquet. “The Resistance will need to sell the dendalite to someone who can produce it into blaster fuel, I have an ally I’d like you to meet.”

 

Sindian holds out the envelope, trying to push it forward into Rey’s hands. The paper is enticing, Rey hasn’t seen someone use flimsy since Jakku. The Jedi Texts and Tennel’s journal’s used physical paper, labeling them as forever ‘other’. Only Leia had used a data pad.

 

“You told Poe- You told General Dameron about this ?” 

 

“Not yet, I wanted you to know first. King Prana has been eager to meet with The Resistance after The First Order betrayed him.”

 

Rey wracks her brain trying to remember where she’s heard the name before. “Why me ?”

 

Sindian stumbles for a response, not expecting Rey to be humble, “You’re the last Jedi.”

 

“Is that it ?”

 

“King Prana has an interesting relationship with phenomena unknown. If he’s going to be negotiating, it would be better if someone with an exotic background was representing our interests.” 

 

A desperate and clever idea takes shape in Rey’s mind, “Does he collect any artifacts ?” 

 

Sindian blinks in surprise, “Of course !” Rey feels safer knowing that she can knock Sindian’s expectations away.

 

“I’ll consider,” Rey takes the envelop. It leaves Sindian’s hand and an urge comes over Rey to thrust it back. “Thank you.” She says, more so out of instinct that gratitude. 

 

Sindian finally takes her leave. She doesn’t stay to watch Rey rip open the invitation.

It’s a gaudy note, long and full of opening formalities. 

 

“Ignore the diamonds, look for the piece of coal they don’t want you to see,” Leia had long ago taught her. “I like to imagine Han wanted to take you on because you saw through his silly, scoundrel routine.” 

 

_ King Prana _

 

It then clicks. Han had been hauling Rathtars for King Prana when they’d first met. 

 

The letter burns in her hands; she should have never taken it. Rey shuffles through her satchel, when she finds her comm she calls to Artoo. The little droid has bountiful knowledge, and he won’t share anything she finds. Luke’s death had the droid spending more time in sleep mode or in the falcon hanging about Rey. 

 

Artoo arrives, complaining and groaning in binary beeps. It’s all for show, he likes to tease her in the same way an elder would tease a grandchild--wise and snarky like Maz. 

 

“Can you tell me about the Mol’leaj System ?” Artoo has helped her before. He’d had information about Ryloth dating as far back as the Clone Wars, and was partially responsible for locating a safe base of operations for them. 

 

_ “Not much,”  _ Artoo displays a holographic map of the Outer Rim. Sindian had called Prana an ally, but if he’d done work with The First Order than he was potentially traitorous. “ _ What about the things under the floor ?” _

 

Artoo rolls over and beeps right where Rey has hidden the journals and orb. 

 

“It’s nothing,” He beeps skeptically at her. “It’s something I found when I was on Vos; I was just investigating Tennel.” 

 

Artoo rolls aside to the center of the room. He shifts his dome head forward, orders the lights in her room to dim, and starts up his projector. A miniature, blue spectre takes form in her room. She’d known Artoo held numerous historical and personal logs from Luke and Leia alike, but getting them out of Artoo was almost impossible. He’d always spat at anyone trying to mess with him, angry beeps about how he was protecting his family history. 

 

“Is it operational ?” The spectre man says, nervously propping up goggles on his forehead. He’s wearing long robes and can’t seem to sit still. 

 

“Yeah. All good.” A voice in the recording assures. It’s firm and wary, making Rey assume the person is standing behind Artoo while the holo takes place, perhaps operating Artoo or not wanting to be on camera. 

 

Tennel’s darker skin with various wrinkles and whitened hair highlight his age and authority. He clears his throat and begins speaking slowly, “Last month the young, prodigy Ben Solo-” The voice unseen makes an exasperated groan. Tennel smiles, having successfully embarrassed the on looker, who Rey now realizes is Ben. 

 

“Just because you don’t hear it much, doesn’t mean it’s not true.” Tennel reaches out of the frame and takes a smug sip from a mug of drink

 

“R2-D2 isn’t going to let us record again if this is all we do.”

 

“Last month a portion of Late Emperor Palpatine’s stolen collection was uncovered. Amongst the wreckage was another of Palpatine’s compasses, corrupted kyber crystals, and an orb exhibiting both sides of the Force in duality. I’ve tasked Ben with excerting memories and sensations onto the orb in an attempt-” Artoo cuts the footage. 

 

“Wait ! He was finally giving me answers….” Tennel’s journals were a wreck. They had beautiful illustrations that did all the work making up for the lack a linear time log. To have him instead directly talking to her was the help she’d wanted. 

 

“ _ No can do. Luke told me not to show you too much.”  _

 

A cold fear passes over Rey. If Luke’s been appearing to Artoo it’s only logical to assume Artoo knows about her and Ben. “You won’t tell anyone else, please. Artoo, please I’m-” The little droid moves over and nudges her affectionately. She hasn’t fully agreed with The Resistance in a long time, but they’re her only family. She’d earned their love, maybe not their trust, and she can’t imagine what they’ll do if they know what she is. 

 

_ “I don’t know how the Maker stuck me with this family.”  _ Artoo chirps at her, almost like a sigh, and scampers off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited for the next arc in this story. Now that the Vos Moon Battle is wrapped up I want to try to update on a more timely basis with shorter chapters....We'll see if I can accomplish that....haha.


	14. Chapter 14

When Rey found herself in a difficult situation, she would duck her head down and carry on, plaster a smile to her face. It was what she did best--edure. But, there were peaks in her life--moments she took on the form that had always been inside hiding.

 

With the letter of invitation to Prana in hand, she reaches out to Ben. In that second before the bond opens, Rey realizes that it wasn’t only her fear of hurting her friends that kept it closed. 

Ben with all his mastery of The Force, could not hide from her. If Rey wanted she could use the bond against him. It’s a difficult thing to bear; this idea that she could do a lot to him through the connection. Her initial fear on Ach-To was that he was pulling her to him, but that was never the case.

The disgusting thought vanishes into smoke the second he appears, and when she sees his trusting and worried expression; she becomes more aware of the dangers she treading into by telling him what she plans to do. It’s stupid, but calculated enough that it could work. 

 

“Ben ?”

 

“You came back.” 

 

_ Cryptic as always.  _

 

“You’re hiding from me, again.” Rey says.  He’s never been good at keeping his face still when distressed. Rey used a smile, or a scowl, to throw off her enemies, and Ben kept his face painfully neutral to the point of being uncomfortable.

 

“I think I’m not alone in shielding myself from you.” 

 

Rey tries to parse his words and their hidden meaning. Ben has a skill of waiting in silence for her to explode. Early on in their relationship she’d expected it to be a manipulation technique, but now she believes he may not actually have the right words himself, and is relying on her to carry the fragile weight of conversation. 

 

After an extreme pause, “You never said it was a stormtrooper.”

 

_ Shit. _

 

“You found her ?” Rey had hoped there would be more time, at least enough for her to put her plan in motion with King Prana. Luke promised Ben wouldn’t hurt the girl, but he’d been vague. “I swear to the gods, Ben, if you-”

 

He stumbles back from her, like she just struck him. “You think I’d harm a child ?”

 

“You’re capable of many things, _ Ben _ .” 

 

“ _ We  _ are capable of many things.  _ You and I  _ are capable of many things.” 

 

He’s right. But first she has to ensure the girl is safe. “Where is she ?”

 

“Resting-- in quarters next to mine. She’s seen a lot in the last forty eight hours.” Rey is shocked to see him run his hand through his hair, he’s stressed over the girl in a manner that is almost endearing. “They drugged her to the point where I couldn’t attempt a mind reading without serious repercussions.”

 

Rey feels cold anger flood her. “Don’t you dare invade her head.” 

 

Ben looks at her, genuinely perplexed. “Rey, had you ever met another Force user before your awakening on Jakku ?”

 

“No,”

 

“And had anyone ever bragged about having Force abilities ? Have you heard anyone in the last year or so claim to be Force sensitive ?” 

 

Rey glares at him, letting the silence settle. King Prana’s letter is crushed in her shaking fist. On Vos’s moon she had wanted the girl, wanted the company, wanted an apprentice of her own, and didn’t care if it meant placing her in the context of the Resistance’s plans. 

 

“Your existence is a defect in the system. Same for hers.” Ben dryly talks to himself. 

 

“A  _ defect _ ?!”

 

“We’re all supposed to be dead !”

 

Ben continues, his shame can no longer hide him. Rey realizes that The Force has grown tired of their cat and mouse games, their avoidance of fate. “My grandfather and the first galactic civil war began it, and Snoke and I reinforced it….”

“It’s a miracle, truly.….These are signs of your awakening elsewhere. The Living Force isn’t as strong as The Cosmic Force in you and I. What BN-2135 will possess is a whole other story; and when more awaken the silence in the galaxy will come to an end.”

 

Rey imagines she could be talking to the Original Jedi Texts personified in Ben’s repetition. 

 

“Her name is BN ?” The irony isn’t lost on Rey. She laughs with a hollow and skeptical humor. 

 

“Yes…” Ben is attempting to be calculating as he sits with his jaw resting in his hands, elbows on his knees when he sits.

 

“I’m starting to understand why you offered to teach me.” Ben’s loneliness is one in the same with the development of her own. The idea of not being alone in the Force is tempting and overpowering for someone left to its devices. The whole point of the Force is connection. It’s a power that requires community. 

 

Ben looks to the floor, unable to meet her eyes. “After that night at the temple I took the others with me to be brought before Snoke.”

She awaits his backpedal from this reveal, but he persists. What they’ve discussed so far makes her feel like the puzzle pieces are finally beginning to come together

 

“I was their leader. And because Luke had not only failed me, but them as well; the responsibility of protecting them became mine.” Ben sits atop Rey’s bed. The bond pulls him into her world where he can be vulnerable, and she is thankful they are having this moment together here, and not on The Finalizer. 

“Snoke saw this. Let us train together-- pulled me away for private lessons. Then the first tests of my allegiance came.” 

 

“Killing your father ?” Rey is confused, has he had the knights the entire time ? Hidden away like toy soldiers ? There were rumors, but the Knights of Ren hadn’t been seen in five years. 

 

“No, that came later….” Ben looks up at Rey, and then down again. He’s being wedged against a painful truth. “Snoke ordered them to be frozen in carbonite.” 

Rey’s stomach makes a painful twist. She rests her hand beside his while they now both sit and talk. “He swore to me; swore to me that they’d be released if I only proved myself.”

 

“And ?” Rey guesses the answer, but still asks. 

 

“The freezing was botched. They did not survive.” He whispered now. Ben sounds like he’s hearing the fact for the first time too. “He told me it was for the better. He claimed they were unworthy; they did not deserve to live or have the Force. It was to be the two of us--forever.”

 

“The Resistance would never do that.” Rey thinks Visigoth might, or Sindian. 

 

“No, my mother would have never allowed it.” Ben says, truly Ben. What is the Resistance without Leia Organa ? 

 

“Ben, what  _ he _ did to you is disgusting. What he planned for The Force….It’s disgusting.” 

 

He gives her a quizzical look. “That is how I felt knowing you’d stay waiting for your parents on Jakku.”

 

She’s touched, but Rey can’t veer away from her plan now. She hates to ruin this tender moment. Except, this is the moment to strike.

 

Rey expected the girl, BN-2135, would come with her. It would be good for BN-2135 to be in an environment with trees, support from new friends, _ light. _ Instead she had fled back into the arms of the First Order

 

Like Rey and her parents. Like Ben and Snoke. 

 

“I know what we need to do next,” Rey clasps his hand before proposing her ludicrous idea. “I want you to hold onto her, the girl. For the time being I need you to be kind to her like you were to me when I came to you on Ach-To.”

 

Ben nods, but his apprehension is obvious.  

 

“In a few weeks time I want us to meet. And I’m taking herl with me.” Ben narrows his eyes. Rey ignores his glare and stays resolute. “In exchange for her I’ll give you Tennel’s orb, the Jedi Texts, your lightsaber-”

 

“No,” Ben squeezes her hand back. “I will not trade her. She’s not a relic.” 

 

“You knew her already,” The Force is too cruel. “That’s why you’re nervous. You realize what’s going on.”

  
  


This is the person she fell in love with, not the one playing pretend behind a mask and swishing a cape around with a grandiose speech. This is the person who understands with such passion and empathizes enough to blind. This is her mirror image. 

 

“I do have a condition,” Ben clarifies; Rey isn’t stupid, she knew he’d have his own machinations brewing, even if they were short term and impulsive. “I will give you the girl, and in exchange you do not take her anywhere near The Resistance.”

 

“I won’t leave the Resistance. My home is with Finn and my friends.”

 

“ I-” Ben fights himself to get the sentence out. “I intend to leave The First Order. And I can’t let the girl lead them to me if I am to escape.” 

 

Rey chokes, “What happened to your vow to not let the galaxy fall into the hands of someone like Hux ?”

 

“I still intend to see that through ! Somehow...I’ve been planning.” 

 

Rey dreads to hear that he’s been attempting anything like a long term goal. 

 

“We really are both too short term for our own good.”

 

Ben gives her hand another squeeze and the bond flutters out of existence. 

 

Rey sets the letter upon her desk. A part of her feels jealous of Ben, that he gets to leave and she doesn’t. 

 

\-------------------------------

 

BN-2135 is motley with bruises and Ben feels himself growing sick with disgust. The First Order has technology that can erase pain with ease and they do nothing with it but prolong the lives of old generals and rancid men. 

Ben had rested BN-2135 on a bed in one of the abandoned quarters. Everyday he was more thankful for having ousted the higher officers staying in this sector; he’d never expected to need the rooms, but The Force had other plans for him. Now, he sat in a chair nearby, waiting for her to awaken and for a plan of action to formulate in his mind. 

 

Rey was light years ahead of him. She was brilliant and calculating, and brave enough to risk trading everything she had gained for a child that had almost killed her. Ben had said that he most feared BN-2135 telling the Resistance his secrets, but as he watches over her he realizes how wrong he is. 

 

_ No one should try and monopolize the Force as Snoke had. And no one should cruelly dissect it as the current Resistance is. No one. No one. No one- _

 

BN-2135 groans in her sleep, and Ben presses the back of his hand to her forehead. Through his glove he can feel feverish heat. He quickly draws back his hand and calls for a med-droid. The droid looks to Ben and beeps unhappily at having to help the same girl who always fights it. He dismisses the droid when he realizes it might upset her when she wakes up.

 

The Force was generous enough to not have Ben encounter any officers when he walked BN to the lift and got her to ‘safety’. He had to keep his hand on her shoulder the whole time, she’d been drugged enough that her focus was a weak flicker, trying to understand where she was and what happened next. 

 

She’d passed out the second Ben ordered her to rest. He shouldn’t have let her do that.

 

Ben paces the room, anxiety driven. Why is this stormtrooper so  _ fragile _ ? Rey wanted the girl desperately as a result of her past and her love for broken things. Yet, he’s unsure if she truly understands the issues with the girl. BN’s mental state is contradictory, and there’s the issue of BN’s unconditional loyalty to a dead, silver armored tyrant. 

 

Ben runs his hand through his hair again. He hasn’t reverted to this nervous tick in years. 

 

BN-2135 comes to, groaning and holding her head. It’s a slow awakening and she startles when she sees Ben standing there. 

 

He stands in silence, stoic and awkward. BN looks around the room, before pulling the blanket closer to her, like a poorly made shield. 

 

“Long day ?” Ben asks sarcastically and sits across from BN-2135. She doesn’t look up, appearing chastized and tired. He pulls the yellow kyber from his pocket and places it on a table behind him, BN-2135 traces his movements, her eyes flickering back and forth as he acts. 

 

The spark of loathing she directs at the kyber  is enough to make Ben wince. She seemingly is blaming it for all of her recent misfortune. “Hux told me you stabbed personnelle assisting you out of a cruiser.” 

 

Ben’s not sure what he wants her to say. What answer or response could bring back her fallen comrades ? Is there a way to even rectify the strange way The Force has thrown so much onto Ben and Rey in such a short time ?

 

BN-2135 stares, with downcast eyes, “The ship engineer tried to take off my helmet. I stabbed him on accident.” 

 

“Did you now ?” He can feel her trust in him. It’s fragile and uncertain. 

 

“Yeah,” BN-2135’s aloofness is a distraction tactic, Ben knows because he’d done the same with Snoke, Skywalker, Organa, and Solo.

 

Ben had promised Rey he wouldn’t hurt the girl. He never said he wouldn’t read her mind. There is too much at stake for the three of them to be holding back.

 

Ben reaches out to the Force. BN-2135 recoils, breaking her cold, neutral stance. Miraculously  her Force signature does the same. 

 

“So you lied about your abilities to me; was that only an accident too ?” BN-2135’s eyes widen in fear. “Or were you waiting for the right moment to blackmail me ? You recovered Spice from Peavey, and were you waiting to discover my own weaknesses after ?” The accusations come from him more so as a means to test her, but he half believes them. 

 

“I- No-,” BN-2135 remains visible, but her Force Signature _ dims _ . Ben extends his hand towards her, pushing lightly at the fragile barriers that all living creatures mentally possess; unconsciously she is fluctuating into existence and out based on her emotions. “Supreme Leader, please, the Jedi did something to me.….”

 

“You performed a perfect Force Cloak, the effort for anyone else could have killed them,” He’d tried something like it once, Ben Solo so full of the need to grab at the knowledge around him. He loved the idea of disappearing, making himself small when his mother and father would quarrel about him, or when Snoke was in a mood. The result of his experiments had been him clutching his head in pain and needing to lay down in meditation. “The Jedi didn’t give you the will, it was always there.”

 

“The Force isn’t real.” 

 

“You say that, ignoring that I’ve never hidden my powers from you. Forgetting that it saved your life.” 

 

Ben keeps his hand extended, he sighs, unsure of what to do. Looking at BN-2135 without armor, without mask, and without any of the barriers of rank or First Order role is shaking the foundations Ben built for himself as Kylo. 

“I promise to go as easily as possible,” In response BN-2135 shoots him a bitter, saddened grimace. He wishes he could just hand the girl over to Rey now. The First Order has broken her into so many fragments. Ben loathes himself and his stupidity at letting this happen to her, to all of her friends, to the hundreds of other sub-adults and youths being used by this iron machine constructed by Snoke and Hux (a machine Ben kept alive). “Show me what you believe I need to see. I promise to not go where you won’t allow.” 

 

It’s a new tactic for him. Ben thinks of Leia Organa working her way through a difficult compromise, a difficult marriage, a difficult son, and a difficult childhood of her own. 

 

He reaches his hand out inches from her, BN-2135 focuses on his outstretched hand. She sits up and takes his wrist, guiding them to the top of her hand. He almost yanks back, but remembers Rey’s request of him. “Will this make it easier ?” BN-2135 asks, holding onto Ben’s wrist like she’s apart of the mind reading. She’s a lothcat in the rain using Ben’s hand as a leaf to shield her. "Perhaps," He concedes. 

 

He’s surprised how organized BN’s headspace is. 

 

There’s mental clutter, but it’s shoved to the side. Out of view in nice compartments that you can only see somewhat spilling out if you look in the corner of your eyes. There are hallways built to navigate around mountains of memories, feelings, ideas and dreams shoved to the side in drawers. 

 

He finds a vein of The Force and follows it. 

 

_ She needs food. She follows the nudge in her head to go forward. The nudge leads her to where she needs to be. It’s sad for some reason. _

 

“This was the first time you used The Force ?” 

 

“I think ?” BN-2135 is unable to distinguish intuition and cosmic prying. 

 

_ She’s hungry. Alone and following a plank up to a ship. There are other children. She doesn’t care she’s just  _ **_hungry._ ** _ She could kill for food, kill for drink. An angry rush tells her to shove the boy next to her aside. She needs the food more than he does. She falls into the crowd of people her age.  _

 

_ Where is mother ? Not here. She was sleeping. You couldn’t wake her up. Just follow the silver plank up to the ship and get what you need and leave- _

 

Ben clears his throat, “You couldn’t have been more than four years old; how can you recall this ?” He curses himself for momentarily showing weakness through discomfort. 

 

“I dream about it.”

 

“Fair enough.” His own mother once claimed to be able to sense and feel the past memories of Padme Amidala, it’s not too great of a leap to imagine BN-2135 remembering vivid fragments of her early life.

 

_ The uniforms of these creatures are clean, plastic, white. The cleanest thing she’s ever seen. They’re sheparding them to medical tables. She really just wants to get her food and go back to the house. But the house smells bad because mother is starting to-  _

 

Ben is slammed into a mental wall. He tastes blood in his mouth from biting his own tongue. 

 

“S-Sorry !” BN-2135 diggs her nails into Ben’s hand and directs him somewhere else. He’s almost glad that BN-2135 has spared him from witnessing what was hidden behind that particular thought. 

 

_ Lay down on the cold table and the doctors will be-  _

 

_ Remedial recruits will go through immediate cultural training- _

 

_ You’ve been gone for a whole year now. I wonder if someone else moved into my house- _

 

_ Mother is breathing. Is she asleep ? She’s been asleep for so long- _

 

“For the love of god chose a memory !” He feels nauseous as she yanks him around. They’re flipping through Holo-footage channels and Ben is the young child placing his face extremely close to the projection. His physical discomfort is nothing compared to the horrible guilt and view of this girl’s life he’s seeing. 

 

BN-2135 refocuses herself, still holding onto her leader’s hand atop her head. 

 

_ A stormtrooper in red--bright, crimson red--squeezes BN-2135’s shoulder. This the last time she feels special.  _

 

_ Cardinal is always so sad. BN can’t voice how she knows this, but every time she takes off her mask she knows Cardinal is seeing the person she used to be. Had her mom given her a name ? No. She knows she hadn’t had one before. _

 

_ He sees an orphan instead of a soldier. Yet another hungry orphan vying for approval. He’s so sad. _

 

Ben grimaces involuntarily. He never spent time or worked with Cardinal because Snoke placed him within the hierarchy right before the man’s death. There had been talk of a training accident. He hadn’t paid any attention to the man Hux had disinvited to the meeting. It was one of Kylo’s first ‘public’ appearances too. 

 

“He died a few weeks after, fighting a band of rebels.” BN-2135 murmurs. 

 

“Oh,” Ben says; he can’t bring himself to crush that illusion. The lie is entrenched in such a flimsy propaganda that it might as well be a fairytale.

 

Ben and her shuffle through dozens of memories of Phasma that aren’t exactly Phasma. Phasma’s eyes are everywhere. Posters, holo-recordings, lesson plans. Finally they reach the only moment Phasma actually appears.

 

_ “The First Order rose from the ashes of The Empire. To which we will all live under its wing. As we are protected and it’s protectors.”  _

 

_ She can’t remember anything else about the speech. She hates that she was sitting so far back. She can barely see Phasma. It’s a chrome spec miles away at a podium. She’s beautiful, even that far away. It’s like looking at a star outside the durasteel windows of the Absolution.  _

 

“Is this the only time you encountered her ?” He feels true pity for the small thing. BN-2135’s hero is a construct of pretty pictures and unreachable ideals. He thinks of Vader’s mask sitting in the ash podium and the sanctuary he constructed for it. 

 

“No...There was something that happened…...” BN shifts the memory violently, rushing forward in time. 

 

_ No one told them how the Supremacy was split. And they were too afraid to ask. Their job was to sort the rubble. Big shipping containers with ramps and smelting ores for unsalvageable pieces.  _

 

_ The heat and smoke makes claustrophobic armor dense on her skin. She hates droid work. It’s a punishment, menial, boring.  _

 

_ They collect piles, stand near the mouth of the ore furnace, throw the scrap in. Rinse and repeat.  _

 

_ They get a quick meal break. _

 

_ “Clean up cycles run alphabetically, BN to BR are on deck.” The Supremacy had been downed for repairs on Arkanis. When it’s not in space it appears like a gaping cavernous mountain, hot from smelting. This is close to Mustaphar.  _

 

_ Hot. Stuffy. Annoying. BN-2135 shovels trash and sharp, rusted pieces into a furnace. Her fellow troopers hadn’t seen her grab for the sliver of chrome. It's near her chest plate. A heavy secret. They’re all sweeping the thousands of pieces of silver into the waste. They keep saying that she’s away resting, she’s away on leave, they keep replaying her videos. BN-2135 wishes she were stupider. A stupid person could pretend that Phasma is alive.  _

 

_ They’re not stupid and ghost stories are spreading. Phasma walks these halls still searching for vengeance.  _

 

_ “You pull the cord and watch the water fill the basin,” BN-2135’s superior officer shows her the pit. It’s twenty feet deep, a wound in the ship. BN-2135 thinks this is where the ore and salvaged goods will be cooled into blocks for later use. “Understood ? Report when it’s filled. It will automatically stop when it reaches the halfway point.” _

 

_ BN-2135 salutes, happy to be doing something other than sweeping and shoveling.  _

 

_ Her happiness ends when she realizes she’s alone. Standing this close to the edge of the pit makes her mind run loops. Intrusive thoughts enter as her toe shuffles near the ledge.  _

 

_ She can’t swim well. Her ability score is abysmally low in that area.  _

 

_ “Back straight, blaster on hand, back and forth the soldier’s command…” BN-2135 hums the chant to herself.  _

 

_ She feels the hairs on the back of her neck bristle. Six feet away, dressed in robes of pink, curly haired, lithe, tall, and with a circle hair pin stands a woman watching the water cascade from the roof of the mechanism that is filling the pit.  _

 

_ What is this woman doing here ? She’s clearly not in official First Order dress. A strange and foreign part of BN-2135 almost likes the pink dress.  _

 

_ “Uh, excuse me ?” BN-2135 curses under her breath. If this is an official officer she’s dead. You’re required to avoid initiation of contact. Only speak when spoken to. Don’t ask questions. _

 

_ The woman looks to BN-2135 and cocks her head, amused and smiling. Not scarily, but the lady is assured--BN-2135’s never seen someone so peaceful.  _

 

_ “Miss-” BN-2135 realizes the woman is glowing a tint of blue. The young stormtrooper shakes, frozen in place. Ghosts aren’t real, the Force isn’t real, Luke Skywalker isn’t real, Darth Vader might have been real but everyone’s still not sure about that one- _

 

_ She doesn’t register her own feet backing up and falling till she hits the water.  _

 

_ Water, flailing, help, help, help !  _

 

_ BN-2135 rips off her helmet in panic. From under the water she sees the woman in pink lean over the ledge, hand outreached. The Supremacy is dark as is the water she’s in and the ghost above her is a beautiful lantern of color.  _

_ Instinct takes over and BN-2135 kicks for the surface to grab the hand of a creature that a second ago only inspired fear.  _

 

_ She’s hoisted over the ledge, panic causing her vision to tunnel. She passes out and comes to with her superior officer doing chest compressions on her.  _

 

Ben takes his hand off of her head. “I believe that’s enough for today.” He’s lost and can’t find his place. He’d told Rey she had no place in this story. Maybe he didn’t either. “Take a rest, you’re welcome to the items and facilities in this room. Tomorrow we’ll talk about where you go from here.”

 

“S-Supreme Leader ?”

 

“You are to refer to me as Lord Ren from here on out.”

 

BN-2135 blinks a few times before collecting herself and picking at her scar. “Can I still be a stormtrooper ?”

Ben pauses, and then leaves the room in a haste. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the total lack of updates and schedule on this fanfiction. School and life have come up and this project is my largest. I plan to finish this, but my updates may be more sporadic as the months go by. I'm also working on some other works for a different fandom so that began to veer my creative juices away. 
> 
>  
> 
> But there is a bright side:
> 
> I'm overjoyed to have reached 50,000 words though ! It's a huge accomplishment for me. 
> 
> This fic is still far from over but I can safely say I have an ending planned. 
> 
> Thank you for everyone who has stuck with me on this very fun, somewhat messy, somewhat crazy wish fulfillment fanfiction.


	15. Chapter 15

Rey stands over a cliff’s edge. She no longer has to wonder if she’s dreaming; her insight into these visions has grown finely acute.

 

She sits, dangling her legs over an Ach-to cliff’s ledge. When Rey was little she used to wonder if it would be fun to take her toys, tie string to them, and make them fly over one of the star-destroyer’s accessible balconies. She gave up the dream after a Teedo once tried to jump her and steal her day’s loot.

 

Rey’s not sure how long she sits, hours, days, years. The dream seems to go on forever like the imaginary ocean.

 

Before she can melt into that delusion, an old togruta approaches behind her. Rey can’t reason why she isn’t surprised.

 

“Are you going to ask me who I am ?” The woman is older, weathered and wise looking like Maz. She has a beauty and air about her that speaks of pain with peace. Rey wants to know everything about her, despite the dream saying she already does.

 

“I’ve been chasing too much these days,” Rey says. “I feel like waiting right now instead of asking and jumping to grab the bait.”

 

“That was a hard lesson for all of us,” The Togruta laughs a little. Rey isn’t sure what the woman is referring to, but she won’t pry. She’s not supposed to know, instead it’s a test of feeling. “After the war we searched for him; found him lost somewhere in between. We all became hermits after that.”

 

“I don’t want to be alone.” Rey clarifies, scared of what the woman is implying. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, Ashoka Tano (the name comes to her without words), Master Yoda, Ezra Bridger; they all ended their life in exile. “I can’t do it again. I already did it once on Jakku.”

 

“You could. You’re strong enough.” Ashoka’s eyes close, taking in the sea breeze of Rey’s dream.

 

“I don’t care if I’m strong enough. That’s not the point; that’s not what I want.” _If anyone deserves to be selfish it’s you._

 

“You’ve done well for your people, Rey.” Ashoka calls a bird to her, it lands with grace on her arm. “But, you’ll need to carve a place for them in the galaxy, a grounds for the future of The Force.”

 

Rey holds up a shy hand, almost going to pet the bird, but refrains at the last second, “I know the path and I know what everyone wants from me, but I want a piece of the future too. I don’t want to just be a sacrifice.”

 

“Whatever you say, Sky Guy,” Ashoka laughs. “When you get to it, do me a favor and make a statue of Rex...He deserves it.”

 

“What ?”

 

Her vision blurs and Rey senses the shift in herself, an aging, a gaining of wisdom of sorts.

 

The sky has darkened, a forest surrounds her at all sides, and ahead is a young woman. The distinct feature of a scar vertically across the side of her lip tells Rey who it really is.

 

“BN-2135 ?” Rey has her lightsaber drawn. It’s green and double sided, an object of her own creation and not a burden like Skywalker’s saber.

 

“I could never shed that name,” BN has her own lightsaber activated too, a sun yellow blade. She looks at her own hand holding the hilt of her blade; as if it fascinates and surprises her that she has it at all. She’s older than fourteen, maybe Ben’s age, twisted into a frightening persona. Splatters of something adorn her robes, her own blood and anothers. “He never gave me another name, you know. He called me that till the very end.”  

 

BN-2135 steps aside, laying dead on the ground is Ben. He’s burned, scorched with combat wounds. It’s an unfitting way to behold Kylo Ren--Ben Solo--slain brutally at the end of a lightsaber similarly to the fate his uncle had briefly wanted for him. Rey has some advantage in this dream, she’s in a phase of her life where she doesn’t scream with rage or grief.

 

Rey wants to anyway.

 

“Why ?” Rey spits at her.

 

“Because this is the cycle of master and apprentice for the Skywalkers.” BN-2135 is too cold to be real. The girl Rey interacted with was angry, bitter, scared, and raging; she was anything but cold.

 

_She will bring destruction, pain, death, and the end of everything I love because of what she will become._

 

“Then I refuse !” Rey shouts across to her, extinguishing her active blade. “I was Luke Skywalker’s pupil and I am Ben Solo’s friend !”

 

“Then you will die.” BN-2135 lifts her sword and charges Rey. Rey catches flashes of emotions, a tower, the Force in war with itself, trying to retreat to a place of refuge.

 

The cruel vision sputters a few times till Rey’s face to face with Luke Skywalker. He’s less of a ghost, translucent and haunting, and more human in form on a fictional Ach-To of her mind.

 

“I wonder if the Force will ever introduce me to Yoda instead ?” Rey opens with a bitter joke, panting and almost collapsing from the sheer speed of the transitions.

 

“You’re cheeky Jedi woman, Rey of Jakku. Has your attitude unlocked any of the orb’s secrets ?”

 

“It’s been more accommodating than you and the entire Resistance combined. It actually wants me around it.” She’s hit another dead end.

“Luke, does the Force even want me to go to meet Prana ?” Rey shoots straight, no formalities. She’s taking what Ben showed her and putting it to use. She’s the master of putting on her imaginary mask, it’s Ben who needs the physical one due to his heart bleeding on his sleeve.

 

“He’ll be hosting Leia’s memorial. It will all go wrong, stormtroopers will storm the place. You and Ben will be involved somehow.”

 

“I guessed that much.” Rey has grown accustomed to everything going sideways. “And BN ?”

 

“First, what about you ?” Luke raises an eyebrow and walks over to place a hand on Rey. “What about your well-being ?”

 

“That’s tied to all of this already.”

 

“There are too many people in your life who’d say otherwise,” Luke for once loses his condescending and paternal tone. “I had that view and look what happened to me.”

 

Rey attempts to find a good come back, but is cut short by a rumble, an earthquake too convenient to be only part of her dream.

 

Luke shakes his head and tsks, “You might want to go check on your boyfriend and his shadow. You’ve seen two master and pupil relationships end in failure, don’t let this be another.”

 

Luke waves his hand, ignoring that the dream is crumbling. A tunnel of chrome in the side of her mind calls to Rey and she takes the beaconing power’s hand and follows it into the bond’s grasp.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

BN-2135 is lead to the training block with two stormtroopers flanking her. Ben dismisses them with a frustrated wave of his hand.

 

“Have another tour of the ship ?” Ben looks up from the complex economic report he stole. He feels dirty just thinking about it, _stealing_ was supposed to be beneath him. The facts look grim. The First Order has funds, but a treacherous dip has come for him after his failure on Vos’s moon. Word in the streets of the planet is they’ve taken to rioting too.

“Hux has made it clear to me that you’re not to go anywhere near your old barracks. I’ve made it clear as well. Yet, you’re here with a black eye.”

 

BN-2135 pauses and clenches her fists at her sides, “I wanted to get my stuff, Supreme Leader _._ ”

 

The title she gives him feels hollow, but it always has.

 

“As I’ve stated many times,” Ben tersely grinds out the words. The title--‘Supreme Leader’--had been meant to make him feel safe, perhaps in the same way ‘Jedi’ used to excite Rey. He’d needed to destroy the pain, the helplessness, and then in turn destroy everything that would reinforce that in an unstable galaxy. “You’re to address me as Lord Ren. There is nothing in the barracks that I can’t supply for you here.”

 

BN-2135 narrows her eyes, her emotional Force signature flailing and running in circles, and stomps over to grab for a staff at the wall. At night he hears her pacing around her room, projecting through the Force. At this rate she’ll come apart at the seams before he’s able to give her to Rey.

 

“Are you displeased ?” Ben asks sarcastically. He’s on the edge himself and to think that this simple minded girl could feel similarly is irritating.

 

“No, sir.” BN-2135 sounds monotone, it’s another petulant habit she’s taken up. So far she had attempted five escapes to her former barracks, demanding to be let back into her stormtrooper corp. A recent event ended with her fighting a boy she claimed had taken her cot. Hux had stormed into his office and thrown the poor boy’s medical records at Ben’s face, demanding BN-2135 be disciplined.

 

Ben had explained to BN-2135 that her friends were all dead, this was her new life. He’d been clear and concise in telling her that she was to be under his observation for the time, and numbly she’d nodded along. But like a psychosis the girl repeated her attempts to re-enter her old world, despite his very clear directions.

 

He struggled to understand her reluctance, truly she should be honored to be serving him. When his mother and father sent him to his uncle, he’d been resentful, but still cooperative. He failed to grasp why this girl was different.

 

 _“We could always recondition her. Stormtrooper training is actually modeled after the Jedi of old.”_ Hux had taken up bravely trying to interfere with BN-2135. Ben’s funneling of funds outside of the Order have gone unnoticed thus far, but his own fear was clouding his readings of Hux’s mind.

 

Where would he go after all was said and done ? To an island like his cowardly uncle ? Or maybe to a desert, like his namesake Ben Kenobi. Both ideas equally made him angry and fearful. Where would Rey take the girl ? What if she caved and ended up bringing her into the hands of The Resistance anyway ?

 

The last thing he needed was BN-2135 suddenly finding a will of her own.

 

_I just have to keep her here till I can pass her off to Rey._

 

He’s momentarily disgusted with himself over that thought.

 

“Would you like to be secluded to a cell ? Since you can’t play nicely with any  of the soldiers I assign to watch you ?”

 

“No, _Supreme Leader.”_

 

He digs his fingernails into his palms, even with gloves he can feel the tiny crescents of rage he makes on his skin.

He’s not a child, he won’t stoop to her level. He is the master in this situation; sooner or later it will be Rey. He feels no pity for Luke Skywalker, but he won’t force Rey to deal with a repeat of the catastrophe that was his relationship with his first teacher. He’s beginning to see the desperation Han Solo and Leia Organa felt in the wake of his existence. The idea of just handing Rey an unstable force sensitive is repulsive and equally tempting.

 

Ben flicks his wrist, and summons the staff from BN-2135’s white knuckled grasp, and places it back on the wall, “You’ll be doing something different today.”

 

He calls for the mouse droid’s to carry out the half destroyed KX droid, battered and worn, and watches BN trail his actions with a fragile fascination. The KX is frightening, large, and it’s lithe arms drag along the floor.

 

BN-2135 swallows, and her throat bobs with trepidation. She’s so used to hiding behind her mask that she forgets everyone can now see her expressions.

 

“I already fought that one.” She says, crossing her arms and rubbing a thumb over her scar. He remembers how she tried desperately to rip this one’s arm apart. She had a habit of tearing the limbs off in her rage.

 

“You’re not fighting it--you’ll be fixing it.”

 

“I don’t know how.” She starts to go towards the weapons wall to fetch another staff. He rolls his eyes and creates a barrier before she can reach it. She bumps into it, falling on her back, and sits-up to turn and glare at him.

 

Ben ignores her, “You’ll need to attune the Force to deal with the delicate intricacies of technology,” The kyber crystal in his pocket thrums; as if it knows he’s talking about it. “Lightsaber construction has a finesse you lack; also someone must watch you when I cannot. This droid will have to do as your bodyguard.”

 

BN-2135’s face flushes crimson, “But, where are your bodyguards ?”

 

“You still need to call me Lord Ren,” Ben hands over a satchel of intricate wrenches and tools while she stands up dusting off her pants. “And to answer your question of the day; I don’t need bodyguards.”

 

He’d hated the way stormtroopers trailed behind him at Snoke’s orders when on the Finalizer. It felt like he was being punished and babysat. And then after he’d upset Snoke because of his failure at the hands of Rey; the stormtroopers had all been ordered to avoid him. It was another tactic of control, isolation instead of doting watchful eyes. Except Snoke’s eyes never left him.

 

BN-2135 stares at him; visibly perturbed, but she begins working anyway.

 

“If I were Supreme Leader I’d want bodyguards.” BN-2135 fiddles with the KX droids core workings. It’s comical to watch her small frame lean forward into the chest cavity of the large droid and pull out pieces to refurbish.

 

“The Force guards me.” It always had; even when its chosen one, Luke Skywalker, took up arms against him.

 

BN-2135 _softens._ Almost as if she could feel what he was thinking……

 

Oh, this is bad, Ben realizes. How long had she been feeling his emotions ?

 

“That’s cool,” BN-2135 murmurs. “I could be your bodyguard too ?”

 

It’s laughable thinking that the runt could ever aid him or protect him. He’s not her peer.

 

“It’s not ‘cool’. The Force is a serious matter.” Ben ignores her offer.

 

BN-2135 nods her head, doubt written all over her face. She rears her hand back with a cry when a spark plug electrocutes her.

 

“Punching it won’t change anything.” Ben says. He’d taken his rage out on objects throughout his life and it was only a momentary balm.

 

“Will I be able to do that soon ?” He’s unsure what she means. “Hear everyone’s thoughts ?”

 

“I thought the Force wasn’t real ?” He mocks at her a little, and she scrunches her nose in frustration, ripping at a circuit unit with a hint of unneeded aggression. “I don’t need to hear all of your thoughts. Your Sabacc face is non-existent. The Force is there to aid you, but it doesn’t work with a lazy vessel. Soon you’ll need to simply read people as they stand.”

 

When he was a young boy he’d whisper to his mother what the other senators were feeling. He’d quickly stopped that game; his mother’s worried glances had hurt more than the cruel things her opponents thought of her.

 

There’s an awkward beat of silence. Clearly BN-2135 and Ben Solo aren’t versed in pleasantries.

 

Finally, she speaks up again, “Sometimes officers would play Sabacc in the mess hall while I was cleaning; it looks hard.”

 

“It’s a disgusting game for scoundrels. It’s difficult because everyone is cheating.” Of course they’ve gone down this route of conversation. One of the few lines of memory that includes Han Solo, The Wookie, _and_ Lando Calrissian.

 

“I’m sorry,” She was watching him and he realizes his tone said things he hadn’t wanted to reveal, even moreso than what she can already pick up. He is dealing with a fledgling Force user whose adept at seeing what she’s not supposed to. “I just wanted to talk…”

 

“You should focus more on the task at hand.” He’s become distracted as well.

 

They work in silence. A nagging voice in the back of Ben’s mind, one that sounds just like Rey’s, pressures him to be lenient on the girl.

 

He feels bad for a moment, till he senses the emotions she’s projecting: anger, frustration, loathing, confusion.

 

_Her whole life was changed in the course of a few days. She’s been walking around faking normalcy, and now has to do that again with you of all people. The irony of this; the familiarity is horrible. They sent you away, punished you for who you were, you just wanted so badly to be apart of their family._

 

On cue, he feels another horrible sensation. Usually the bond opening is reason to celebrate, but now is not the time. It’s never loud or grand, more like when the bond opens up there’s the feeling that this was always meant to be.

 

He hopes above all else that  BN-2135 can’t sense the stern looking Rey now sitting at his work table in the training block.

 

The first thing out of Rey’s mouth is, “Is her black eye new ?”

 

When he assumes he’s hit rock bottom, the universe seems to prove him wrong.

 

If the girl weren’t here he could snark back at Rey and ask her if Tennel’s Orb back-talked, or if the original Jedi Texts paced around their room like a caged bird. Rey wasn’t dealing with an entire empire of traitors and a stormtrooper who wanted to fight everyone around her.

 

“To just let you know, I didn’t do this on purpose.” Rey holds up her hands in relectuance. He’s not sure what she’s referring to--the bond or BN-2135.

He knew that she wasn’t to blame, but he couldn’t help the needy want to have her immediately at his side.

 

BN-2135 looks up from tinkering, noticing Ben tense and gripping the table, “Is…...there something wrong, Lord Ren ?”

 

Rey and him freeze in unison. “Nothing; stop interrupting me or you’ll work alone in your room.”

 

BN-2135 narrows her eyes at him again, but doesn’t push further.

 

Rey bites her lip, “Please don’t tell me you’re taking your frustration out on her.”

 

_I’m not ! She is acting like a child !_

 

Rey grabs his wrist, “She is a child !” Her corporeal form shifts around him, making direct contact. Ben keeps his eyes trained down, trying not to project fear or show that he felt the ripple in The Force. Rey hearing his thoughts adds another layer to this terrible interaction. Rey retracts her hand quickly, waiting for BN-2135 to spot her.

 

The stormtrooper looks around the room confused, and then hunches her shoulders down and focuses on the droid. “Ben, you saw what happened to her. You know what it’s like to be the only one left.”

He almost chokes; because it’s true. The last of his family, the last of his knights, the last of The Force users. Rey bites her lip, holding her tongue as she senses BN-2135’s Force signature nearing the knowledge that they’re not alone.

 

His mind screams at him to fix it.

 

“This isn’t a punishment.” He breaks the silence with a rough declaration. BN-2135 jumps a little at his sudden assertion.

 

“Ben, you sound like a lunatic.” Rey admonishes, crossing her arms like she’s watching a show.

 

_This entire situation is lunacy !_

 

BN-2135 pauses, “I didn’t say-”

 

“You didn’t have to.” Ben Solo hadn’t needed his family to tell him that he was inconvenient. Luke was either meant to straighten him, fix him, or keep him under watch.

 

BN-2135 won’t meet his gaze, instead she’s looking disdainfully at the droid he’s given her to repair. “You- You were a lot happier when I was a stormtrooper.”

 

 _Because I could pretend you weren’t human_ , Ben thinks. “I promise this situation is only temporary.”

 

“So…... I do get to be a soldier again ?” Rey and Ben both flinch at her excitement.

 

Ben tries to find a way to let her down easily, they’d already had this talk yet the girl holds onto her delusions. “You know why that can’t be, right ?”

 

“Cause the Sith Slayer did something to me ?” BN-2135 speaks with a venom that, unbeknownst to her, stings at Rey.

 

Rey’s obviously heard the name before, she looks resigned to it and Ben’s heart aches.

 

“Let me-” Ben slowly moves closer to the former soldier. “Stick out your hand. Reach out to The Force as best you can.”

 

BN looks at him, skeptical, but she still sticks out her hand and closes her eyes.

 

“Open your eyes,” Ben demands.

 

“But how can I imagine it-”

 

“You are connected to the Force, you need not humble yourself. That Jedi did nothing to you; accept it. Show that you are apart of something bigger. Face it with open eyes.“

 

Rey watches too, she’s leaning towards BN-2135 as if to inspect her.

 

BN-2135 keeps her hand raised for three anticlimactic seconds before then wiggling her fingers. Rey laughs and Ben squeezes the space between his eyes. He decides he’ll have to try another approach; he takes BN-2135’s hand in his;  sitting across from her on the bench, ignoring her mortified look, and focuses a wave of his own signature towards her. Rey jumps up, potentially to defend the girl from whatever he’s about to do, but she pauses when she senses he’s only about to lecture.

 

_You truly have no faith in me, Rey ?_

 

“What did you feel when you Force cloaked ?” Ben watches BN-2135 stare at her small hand in his. Then, she sighs and he sees the same person he’s gotten to know over the many months; a more gentle student and a tenacious individual. The Force had comforted him since birth, for Rey it had saved her on Starkiller, but for BN-2135 she’s been fed clear falsehoods and fables. He wonders what stories they conjure up in First Order propaganda.

 

BN-2135 balls her other fist, clenching and un-clenching it, “I thought about running, and then the rest sorta happened on it’s own.”

 

Ben smiles and tilts his head, “You ? Retreating ? That doesn’t sound right.” From what he’s seen she’s never hesitated to throw herself in the line of a training droid’s fire or a fight with a peer.

 

“I remembered what you said, about having to get away from the fight. The Jedi was too strong and she would’ve killed me….”

 

This makes him sputter, he can barely maintain nonchalance while Rey looks mortified. Rey shifts while sitting, like she so desperately wants to argue and assure the poor girl that’s not the case. “The footage we found would say otherwise. It almost looked like she was offering to save you.”

 

BN-2135 shakes her head, remembering the scenario in a tainted, biased light. “If I’d said no to joining her she would have just killed me.”

 

“But, you could have joined her.”

 

“I would never forsake The First Order.”

 

Ben almost retches. He remembers kneeling for Snoke, adoring him, believing above all else that this was the true path that-

 

“Even after everything they’ve done to you ?” _Is your friend like this, Rey ?_

 

Rey whispers her response, “No….Finn is nothing like this.”

“They...saved me…..” BN-2135 explains, like it’s so clear. “They rescued me from my planet and Phasma’s ghost saved me from the water that day.”

 

“That wasn’t Phasma’s ghost.” He refuses to let her live that lie. It’s almost sacrilegious and an insult to the Force.

 

“Y-Yes, it had to be.”

 

“Even if Phasma could be a Force ghost, what seriously makes you believe she’d save you ?” The words leave him, and he realizes his mistake when in the corner of his eye he watches Rey’s face morph into shocked horror.

 

BN-2135 bolts out of the room. Ben shouts for her to come back, but she ignores him.

 

Rey and him stand in silence for a moment and then, “I had a dream where she killed you.”

 

Ben is speechless for the second time in one day.

 

“I dreamt she killed you...And you know the worst thing, Ben ? The worst thing is that The Force showed me that even I couldn’t sway her. I couldn’t stop that fate.”

 

He sighs and feels the air and fight nearly all go out of him, “What are you saying ?”

 

“I’m saying don’t you dare let history repeat itself.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey: Nice, Ben. You made a middle-schooler cry.
> 
> Every chapter ending includes one obligatory apology for the long wait time in between updates. I'm going to push myself to get the next chapter out faster, but no promises. I always want to also say thank you to everyone who has stuck with me on this very self indulgent fanfiction roller coaster. Also, I know there will probably be at least one big typo in this chapter.........Hopefully not too big. 
> 
> Thank you, everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> Please J.J give me a happy ending.
> 
> I'm debating making this a full story. We'll see.....multi-chaptered fics are hard but I might need it because of the two year hiatus......


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